Cancer lady, firstly

The confessions. It's all in my head. It's all in my head.

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 15th, 2010, 8:38 am

I think we're apt to change our minds too often.
I read somewhere that women have more white matter in their brains, men more gray. We all can reach the same conclusions by different routes.
Men straight ahead thinking, women more circuitous.



I wrote this last year
I had one of those men are from Mars women are from Alpha Centauri moments with my sister this morning. After all these years I have almost over come my testosterone gray matter linear thinking enough to follow the curves of her estrogen white matter.
Taken me a long time to learn to listen to her. Not so much that she changes her mind so often as she sees more possibilities than me.

Thank you for the pictures, still studying them

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » April 15th, 2010, 12:27 pm

I was going to sleep with thoughts of women in my head,
particularly her and what is she like, then images of daisy petals dropping to the ground, first one, then another, etc, ending on the final one to determine tears or giddy. Her finger plucks it from it's bed and she might pull it in close to her chest or twist it to shreds.

And to me that's her in her simplest form, her childlike wake and before other mishaps and do nots and see heres, etc interfere, or better yet, before time itself distracts (intrudes, proceeds, intercepts, paranoids, superstituates as in creates the superstitions ...)

I'm going to look stupid saying these things.

Anyway, if a man finds some way to abbreviate or simplify by re-grounding her flightiness, if he mediates in between and re-introduces her back to the simplest...I don't know if it's true or not. Was just thinking of Hawthorn. And obviously this method wouldn't work in every situation. Lady of situations, that's women.


Found this today, daisies are charming.

Daisy

I never can see straight, maybe in 17 years I will have accomplished at least that. :P It's nice that you've discovered curvy though.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 15th, 2010, 1:03 pm

Thanks for that link. I am going to try a daisy myself.

Who's grounding who

On that Picture of Eurydice there is a link to to this
Foreword: Bracha's Eurydice, vii ... Undoing Gender - Judith Butler - Paperback - NON-FICTION - ENGLISH
I spent some time wondering what it is to be a man
but I am finding out it really doesn't matter.

Being a man being a woman
if it wasn't for the sex it would be a pretty good arrangement.

Seems like there should be a better way to make people.
THat is why I have my doubts about intelligent design

:P

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 15th, 2010, 1:08 pm

Image

I like that a lot. Did you do it with PainShop?

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » April 15th, 2010, 1:24 pm

With Adobe photoshop 7.0, I think, sometimes I use photobucket editing. I've only recently started experimenting with it though, some cool stuff there.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by SadLuckDame » April 15th, 2010, 7:47 pm

I just sat here and thought of a ton of things I'm scared to death of, though I build such a safety bubble up in order to not have to face them or acknowledge them. The nutty thing about it is one of my great fears is public speaking or sharing any of who I am with public.

When I began, and stated how shy I am, that's the complete truth of it. I'm only to come out of my shell to those within my affectionate circle. But, to not allow shy to define me, just as I refused to let labels define me or withhold me, I fight back the overwhelming sense to hide by creating a fantasy that I'm hiding even though I might be completely and publicly nude.

It might be like a child who says you can't see me and covers their own eyes.

Thought since I've been confessing all along that I should at least face and confess that. Back to putting my hands up.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by SadLuckDame » April 16th, 2010, 4:28 pm

(moving this here...)

I found an interesting article after reading the mr.'s poem.
This piece is just a bit from it...
So the problem for people who confabulate is not necessarily that they can't make new memories, but that they confuse memory and present reality. "They seem unable to suppress memories irrelevant to ongoing reality," says Schnider.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg1 ... tml?page=2
I think I found me.
I have the sort of memory that goes like this...excellent long term memory, and good recollection of senses, emotions, etc. but terrible short-term memory. I can forget things within the first five minutes, all the time. To keep looking like I recollect, I've adapted the short-term short hand mingled with a heavy scent of a past memory; which is the stronger of the two and helps me gauge what it is I'm trying to interact with.

My sister will call me to ask me about who her friend so and so was that went to NYC with us, and I'll fill her in on all the details of her friend. It's almost photographic, the images stunning, the conversation vibrant...

But, then she will have to remind me of every day items, scheduled plans, birthdays, functions, etc.

What would I do without a sister.

Dreams are vivid though, I recollect them easier than daily details.

I wasn't sure if I was beginning to show signs of Alzheimers or if the memory loss was due to being staged dived onto by a 400 lb man when I was sixteen. Had suffered a blackout from it, reoccurring concussion that went untreated. Shrug, who knows except I just think I'm doomed to get alzheimers anyway.

Basically though, short term memory=just the gist of it.

For years he tormented me that he didn't say that...he said, "''and he'd repeat it word for word, then me going "well that's the gist of it..."

Ooops, added the link :p

From same site...
More recent experiments by philosopher Lars Hall of Lund University in Sweden develop this idea further. People were shown pairs of cards with pictures of faces on them and asked to choose the most attractive. Unbeknown to the subject, the person showing the cards was a magician and routinely swapped the chosen card for the rejected one. The subject was then asked why they picked this face. Often the swap went completely unnoticed, and the subjects came up with elaborate explanations about hair colour, the look of the eyes or the assumed personality of the substituted face. Clearly people routinely confabulate under conditions where they cannot know why they made a particular choice. Might confabulation be as routine in justifying our everyday choices?
Very interesting stuffs, I don't know if that's what I might have, but it's something to think about is all. As it suggests, we all possibly confabulate a tale at an given time.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 17th, 2010, 11:58 am

it is all so human

I like artguy's avatar a lot.

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » April 17th, 2010, 12:58 pm

I do too.

My mind's stranging me out, lots of funny paranoia's and I'm tripping more than yous. Gonna miss ya when I'm gone, too. I mean at times it felt like elevation, or sumpin', but the coming downs not the highs:
We just do what we gotta dos, to survive this thing.
Thanks u Jack.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 17th, 2010, 2:38 pm

I don't know what confabulate means,
I was feeling kind of the way I think you are
Nothing like a day at the beach
Walk over to mingo's pond and check out his installation.

Image

Give me nice easy peaceful feeling, maybe it was the silence and the sound of the waves, and I think I heard the wind and some birds calling.

What you been doing with yourself on vacation?

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 17th, 2010, 2:42 pm

Definitions of confabulate on the Web:

unconsciously replace fact with fantasy in one's memory

wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
I kept thinking of constantines "connibulate"

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » April 17th, 2010, 3:06 pm

Well I couldn't find connibulate, so I went with what struck me. It seemed to fit the mood, I don't know.

I think best when showering, I guess.

It's not so much vacation that's eating me alive, it's the awareness of something other while being vacationed. I've discovered I might be better together while on a schedule, and maybe that's not so a large deal to most; for most may have already been within a schedule, but to me it's a new lifetime and to be face to face with something that'd naturally I'd destroy, except I see the difference and how much healthier it'd possibly made me.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 17th, 2010, 3:22 pm

I live in anarchy, i have no schedule. I make my own
the days run on like I am a kid on summer vacation
not the healthiest regimen for me

I do my best thinking behind the wheel
it is when I think least.
a form of zen sitting for me

I think we all confaublate yes
but not many pause to notice

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » April 17th, 2010, 11:19 pm

Wishing I were building some nature monument right now. Reminds me of my lake. When they'd drain it, everything mud except the canal and it seemed like a treasure hunt, all that drowned and now stuck in the mud, those water washed rocks, the sun-bleached wood and animal tracks, or behind me; my muddy foot prints.

I miss that.

I'm glad mingo could bring a bit of it here to share, for day-dreamers like me.

Wish I had a wheel too. :P
I'd be trouble with it.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 18th, 2010, 7:37 am

I wish I could play the saxophone,
oh boy am I hung over this morning
I had a chocalate milkshake last night

Sugar sugar

Did you ever see a movie called Chocolat?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolat_(2000_film)

Nice movie. I wish I had watched the movie instead of drinking that milkshake. Yes I am grateful for mingo's art too. I miss a beach anywhere, church is a beach for me.

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