Post
by Doreen Peri » March 29th, 2015, 12:01 am
.
when i first became conscious
of being conscious, i was five
years old and the reason i
became conscious of being
conscious was it was the first
time i lied.
i was an ill child, asthmatic
bronchitis, not mild but severe,
so weird to have to miss school
all the time, i felt like a
criminal, no rhyme nor reason,
no specific season, always sick,
pick a day, i'd say i was feeling ok,
but mom knew better 'cause she
heard me wheeze
so anyway, this particular day
when i was sitting in the foyer
near the front door and mom said,
"Don't go outside! Promise?"
i replied, "OK, what for?"
she needed to keep me
indoors so she could watch me begin
to heal, and as a mom, i guess
she could feel
for me
but it was a beautiful day
and i could see through the door
it was going to rain in a bit, so
i thought, what's wrong with it
if i go out for a while to enjoy
the sun?
so i opened the door and snuck on out
as if i'd won some type of award,
stayed out on the porch and in the yard
for i guess about a quarter of an hour
before it started to shower,
then darted back in, sat back down
just where i was before i'd made the promise
not to leave. Mom came out of the kitchen
with cookie dough on her sleeve and a spatula
in hand and i thought she was going to reprimand
me with a spanking with that cooking tool
but boy, was i cool.
i was only five, just barely alive,
and mom asked, "Did you go outside?"
"No!" i proclaimed, as if my name were
signed on the dotted line of some legal paper.
she raised her eyebrows, rolled her eyes,
and asked if I wanted to lick the spoon.
she KNEW I lied, my hair dripping with rain,
and just as soon
as she asked
and my answer was false,
it caused me to wake up
i licked the spatula because
it was chocolate chip cookie dough
but i know she knew that i knew
she'd know
i lied when i was five
first time of knowing i was alive
.
