The Studio Eight Diet™

[stilltrucking]

getting hungry again
gotta go with plan B
raining
now it is not raining and sun is shining
going back to plan A
ride boldly ride
got to face the music sometime
I am a cyberhoarder for sure

post paste past
Therapy



this is not really about sex
it is about violence and women
it is my existential strip tease

cut me loose let me fly
after all these years I am still alive



Search found 29 matches: suicide by matricide

I would not be her Neanderthal, for all her smiling up at me, all she had to do is say yes, but she kept saying no, kept struggling against me, it was a wrestling match and all the while me watching her face, still with a smile, she was a big girl, and I was not man enough to use all my strength to pin her to that mattress. At a certain point it was getting too violent for me. Despite her smiles. It was her "no", and what the hell were we doing in her bedroom anyway She invited me there I am sure. Maybe it was too see her etchings, she was an artist.



Too much fear in me, fear of myself. I was all froze up inside from my brush with suicide by matricide. Never dawned on me to connect that episode with my mother with violence against women. But I was changing, thanks to the acid I think.

I am sure she just wanted to have fun. But I was too fucked up in the head to give it to her.

Maybe. But I will never forget her eyes, glowing embers of her fire, her desire.

"nobody can tell me nothing about dames"

· But if my harley was runnin, honey I'd show you who's boss
There are places in texas a man can still go and get lost
If my harley was runnin' I'd be gone in nothin' flat
Sooner or later I'll get it started,
And you better start thinkin' bout that
· living on tulsa
· https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV2zv6sVD_o
· https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/waylonj ... unnin.html


· my greath grandfather
· existential striptease
· http://msmagazine.com/blog/2018/06/12/e ... triptease/
Whither Psychoanalysis in a Computer Culture?
by Sherry Turkle


viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10240&p=66584&hilit ... ase#p66584
(זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה (ז"ל) זֵכֶר צַדִּיק לִבְרָכָה (זצ"ל



Existential Striptease
viewtopic.php?f=12&t=4009\\5346

5346 1117 2102 6349
4318062









Re: My mom has left us
by Hypatia » Today, 12:15 am
I am sorry if I sound insensitive. I am pretty sure it is Aspergers' syndrome that makes me so stupid about other peoples emotions. Socially retarded. I never seem to say the appropriate words.



To paraphrase Zorba the Greek, death is no problem, only life is a problem.

I am worried about you.
Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

[stilltrucking]

even more hungrier, cup of coffee and a cigarette takes the edge off it

still sitting here and typing
rain passed over and I can't tear my self away from this

the world revolves around the hand that writes:.

plan B
the wheels are not revolving
my ass is glued to this gottdam chair
I can hardly breathe
I need the fresh air
wind in my skin
revolving wheels

the world revolves around the hand that writes:.

[stilltrucking]

Saturday, October 13, 2018
lunch
with crazy mike watching his favorite tv show, and eating a brussel sprout salad with roasted tomato dressing venison sausage watching Gunsmoke

me and crazy mike agree that:
A man would have to be a fool to draw a weapon on Matt
Trying to remember what my dad said about the show.
but would watch it every [url]week
[/url]
any minute now I expect to be on my way
out that door and hit the road.

now I am watching a documentary about lust and creativity

lusted and busted
I'm just waiting for a friend

[stilltrucking]

hungry again, whole wheat English muffin with make-believe butter and orange marmalade one more cup of coffee — the third or fourth today

watching Downtown Abby season four, part eight
Thinking about my lonely bicycle

[stilltrucking]

Sunday, October 14
15 miles yesterday
schwag
weather it is fine
sun so hot I froze

[stilltrucking]

I got company
baby sister come over for a cup of coffee

got to talking about her husband my beloved brother-in-law
reminded me of Kurt Russel in Overboard™
She urging me to get out and ride my bike
me gently hinting that I can't go until she leaves
she keeps asking me "are you going?" and I answer "When you go, I will go, seems kind of impolite to leave the house when I got company.

we finally sort it out and she leaves
I tell her I have to finish working on the menu for today's studio eight diet blob

I see the road before me from the end of the driveway a half mile of almost flat road disappearing in the trees at the hard left turn

[stilltrucking]

Sunday kind of music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psvV10pohMw
still here trying to break out

ain't no reason to deny it'
Hold on to Jesus Christ

now I am hungry again,
lunch is it lunch yet?
breakfast about 8AM, eggs bacon whole wheat heart healthy bread
make believe butter'
now it is
lunchtime
or is it?

time is a delusion,
lunchtime doubly so—DNA

[Hypatia]

post lunch time
texas ranch style beans with jalapenos and onions
went for the ride only made it a mile and had to turn back
did not take my pre-ride shower, my crotch was chaffing'

shower and dress for success put on my bicycle shorts'
be an easy rider
with the road between my thighs

smoke gets in my thighs, wasn't that a Tom Paxton song?

[silent woman]

20 miles yesterday
55 miles for the week

breakfast with Freud two over easy
bacon english muffing jam and make believe butter
two cups of yesterday's coffee
sun so hot
cold front
down forty from yesterday
from humid warm day
to cold rain today
It could be worse
Could be 27 degrees and snow in Bismark ND


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3380786/
mg/dl
start 274 to end at178 of the week
not ready to step on a scale yet
don't truth me now

[stilltrucking]

Tuesday October 16,2018

0 miles yesterday
cold rain
cold dreary damp
and occasional torrential downpoors
46 degrees indoors
dig out my winter duds
glucometer 168
weight I have not found that scale yet
the day looms before me
up at 6, eggs bacon, whole wheat toast, whole wheat English muffin, makebelive butter sugar free bluberry preserves

eight AM and I find myself here looking out this window again

the day stretches before me with promises of good health
a straight two-lane blacktop
wet I bet
time to dress for the rest
I come a million miles since Baltimore

[still.trucking]

Tuesday October 18
still see them autumn roses out the window as I sit here.

always think of my rose of san antone when I see them

money bank
I was her ner do well son for all her life
so now I got money in the bank, food in the fridge, a shelf full of medications, gallons of fresh water.

nictone longes and dro
out my window I see I got company coming
little sister just steped out her front door
got her muck lucks on
+-

[Hypatia]

she got her muck lucks on
and buffalo robe coat
and she loaded for bear

[Hypatia]

Today I ate my refrigerator, well just the food in it. And I been pretty much conscious since I got up at six, and it is 4PM and I am not hungry. I know there was a hamburger and some mushrooms, barbequed venison sausage.
230 down eight since when, September I think.
my feng shui tripping little sister out
she is a unclutter magician

I feel like tom sawyer and that whitewashed Pickett fence

[silent woman]

breakfast with '"Victoria Lucas" in 1963"Victoria Lucas" in 1963'
we had avacado halves with grape jelly

I talked about my idiosyncratic underlining

I asked her about her reasons for underlining certain words in her journals. (ref: Silent Woman biography?)

ride sally ride
wish i knew why I am posting this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UluM5trt47I

[Hypatia]

now I remember

what it was like to be free, white,15 years old and a male in the fifties
and in the seventies all the dungaree dolls were reading The Bell Jar
Oh yes I want you to wear my high school sweater the one with the three Scarlet Letters