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jam #2 - CPR
what i loined today at cpr review
it was real greate
the several teachers there
showed how they cared
first i got dissed by nancy to this dude who had a student returning
then i was directed to a large breasted lady
geez i had great eye contact
how could i sneek a peek at those whoppers
oh dear
first i learned to call 911 first ask for help with adults
with help on the way, keeping the brain oxygenated first priority
makes sense but with kids
a cardiac arrest is uncommon, usually they need respiratory resusitation
so if a kid has cardiac arrest, start with cpr then after a minute ask for help?
bogus all the same ask for hellppp firrssttt
ah then when i lifted up the mannikin's neck from the rear,
oh dear, lady said "oh you were in the military" or some such wacko assumption,
said chin tilt is the way, correct, and a big open mouth to blow open airway,
i wanted to look at her breasts,
then i relearned about how to place the hands not the xiphoid process,
100 bpm, fast,
harder, harder, she said, oh,
15:2, all the way down the line, kidz, adultz, 1 0r 2 person cpr
and the heimlich, find the belly button
let them know you are about to blow!
keep going until they cough it up or faint
then lower to floor and attempt to vent then blind sweep, then
heimlich thrusts how many?
5 thrusts, then sweep mouth, then attempt to ventilate,
once able to ventilate, check for pulse.....
auto defibb,
place as noted, just not over pacemakers, or topical patchs or residue,
might disrupt the flow, no harm to the old defibber, pacer already did not work,
so let machine analyse first if person needs defibbing, then if so, boing the preson 2 or 3 times. If no cardiac pulse after that, begin cpr.
I wrote this two weeks ago, had lost my pink certificate stating I had attended the CPR update, so I had to write a note for them, this is what came out, the truth, yet I never sent it to them, just a straight statement, my eval complete, got a 5% raise, the max.
I had to tell someone tho, sweet juvenile still inside of me!
it was real greate
the several teachers there
showed how they cared
first i got dissed by nancy to this dude who had a student returning
then i was directed to a large breasted lady
geez i had great eye contact
how could i sneek a peek at those whoppers
oh dear
first i learned to call 911 first ask for help with adults
with help on the way, keeping the brain oxygenated first priority
makes sense but with kids
a cardiac arrest is uncommon, usually they need respiratory resusitation
so if a kid has cardiac arrest, start with cpr then after a minute ask for help?
bogus all the same ask for hellppp firrssttt
ah then when i lifted up the mannikin's neck from the rear,
oh dear, lady said "oh you were in the military" or some such wacko assumption,
said chin tilt is the way, correct, and a big open mouth to blow open airway,
i wanted to look at her breasts,
then i relearned about how to place the hands not the xiphoid process,
100 bpm, fast,
harder, harder, she said, oh,
15:2, all the way down the line, kidz, adultz, 1 0r 2 person cpr
and the heimlich, find the belly button
let them know you are about to blow!
keep going until they cough it up or faint
then lower to floor and attempt to vent then blind sweep, then
heimlich thrusts how many?
5 thrusts, then sweep mouth, then attempt to ventilate,
once able to ventilate, check for pulse.....
auto defibb,
place as noted, just not over pacemakers, or topical patchs or residue,
might disrupt the flow, no harm to the old defibber, pacer already did not work,
so let machine analyse first if person needs defibbing, then if so, boing the preson 2 or 3 times. If no cardiac pulse after that, begin cpr.
I wrote this two weeks ago, had lost my pink certificate stating I had attended the CPR update, so I had to write a note for them, this is what came out, the truth, yet I never sent it to them, just a straight statement, my eval complete, got a 5% raise, the max.
I had to tell someone tho, sweet juvenile still inside of me!
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]
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