"I'm gonna ride that thaing, if it's the last thing I do."
We Are The Champions
for release 07-07-05
Washington D.C.
This weekend I watched millions of people worldwide gather to make their voices heard concerning the topic of hunger in the world. I have to assume that the large turnout was more for the cause of Live 8 rather than to see the geriatric rock stars who were performing. Roger Waters and Pink Floyd were inspiring and Joss Stone is a bright gleam on the horizon, but for the most part, the acts were disposable.
It's hard to tell pop culture from politics. Actors and wrestlers are governors, there have been enough rock stars knighted to fill a round table, and the President of the United States wants to be Lance Armstrong (if he could just stay on his bicycle.)
It was a stroke of genius on the part of Bob Geldorf to combine a pop culture event with a demonstration. The sad part about it is that the demonstration will be dismissed by the eight most powerful men in the world just as it was by the major television networks. They will have their lofty meeting cloistered on the links in Scotland and give nary a care to the plight of the starving in Sudan or the AIDS orphans in South Africa. Nice try, Bob.
The Big Eight will pay lip service to global warming and hunger and trade imbalances, but no concrete action will result. Perhaps the million pounds sterling that was spent on the chain-link fence that is protecting the eight most powerful men in the world from protesters could have been better spent on aid to Africa.
I'm wondering, when the Big Eight play golf, do they play in an eightsome or in two foursomes? What do they talk about between the driver and the putter? Will Chirac ride in the same golf cart as Blair, will they share lunches? English food or French?
Of course our Liar in Chief will have his mind on other things than starvation and global warming. He has a vacant Supreme Court seat to fill. What fun. Shall he appoint his lap dog, Mr. Torture is Ok and the Geneva Conventions are 'quaint' Gonzales? Or maybe Jerry Falwell would make a good Justice. No, we probably need a woman jurist to fill the robes of Sandra Day O'Conner. How about Ann Coulter? Karl Rove may be looking for a job soon.
Yes, it must be a bewildering choice, George. You want to please your base on the religious right and also avoid a massacre in the Senate over confirmation of your nominee. Quite a dilemma. I'm sure Putin will have some advice on the seventeenth green. "Fire them all and put your boys in there."
I have a solution, Mr. President. The perfect replacement for Sandra Day O'Connor is Tom Cruise. It's the best of all possible worlds. Cruise is a religious fanatic of dubious sexuality, he just says no to drugs and he does great at the box office. What's not to like?
Mr. President, we need someone on the Supreme Court who is not afraid to jump up and down on Oprah's couch. Yes, we need a glazed-eyed, cradle robbing cultist who is lovable in his fanaticism. Tom Cruise is your man.
I’ve paid my dues -
Time after time -
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I’ve come through
We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world --
Queen
