Exercise queen

[mousey1]

Exercise queen b, that would be me, 'course I lie alot!


I have just obtained
an
exercise ball
to balance and bob
my way to fitness

I look a sight
as I precariously
perch
atop the blubbery mass
of the finest synthetic rubber

I am confident
it will last
about as long
as my inclination
for exercise

The girl proudly displayed
in the instruction pamphlet
looks strangely like me -
minus the candy bar

My chances of success
are slim

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Thank you for calling the Rosewater foundation, this is Jack, how may I help you?

The Fun and Thigh Roller
I used to answer the phone
For the infomercial

Mostly women calling for an answer to the follies of the flesh. Men are so vain they don’t think they need to improve themselves I suppose.

I felt like I worked for The Rosewater foundation.

I have a friend who constantly bitches about the house her husband built for her. She hates the stairway. She gets so weary of climbing up and down the stairs. She is way over weight, and it is very dangerous for her to be that fat. She is no spring chicken anymore. So anyway she bitches about the stairs and meanwhile she has three or four exercise machines and a stationary bicycle and a treadmill she does not use any of them.. I try to tell her those stairs are the only thing she has going for her. She don’t hear me cause I am pretty fat myself.


Godbless You Mr Rosewater

The result is Vonnegut's funniest satire, an etched-in-acid portrayal of the greed, hypocrisy, and follies of the flesh we are all heir to.



So he opened up an office over the liquor store in order to help anyone who needed his help. The sign on the door said simply, "Rosewater Foundation: How Can We Help You?" So Eliot Rosewater, philanthropist, poet, volunteer fireman, Harvard graduate, and drunk proceeded to help any and all that came to him for help.

Slim or none

I can tell your future, just look what's in your hand
Is that a Oh Henry bar?

Nice work mousey
Pardon the sock puppet
Just the way I feel these days.
Like a character in a Vonnegut novel who is too dumb to live.


Andre Gide
“Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.”

I was googling and found this which I am not sure what it is, I just love quote sites.
http://rosewaterfoundation.org/viewQuote.aspx

[mousey1]

Thanks for reading and commenting Diana Moon
I enjoyed your story. It's so funny how people will shell out a fortune for exercise equipment to get themselves fit instead of just walking a mile in their own shoes! I think the hope is that these magical little pieces of machinery will do all the work while the pounds of fat just melt away. I swear to God!...They really ought to do true to life commercials where the consumer is perched atop the exercise bike or treadmill or whatever smokin' on a cigarette, ice cream cone in one hand, beer in the other, their saggy, paunchy middles flopping in the breeze and their faces all aglow with the heady knowledge that they're actually getting slim and trim! Hell, if they ever decide to do such infomercials count me in...count me in!

I think feeling like a character in a Vonnegut novel is not a bad thing, they are not boring, and they are definitely not "too dumb to live". Let's face it being dumb can often be a boon to this business of living. The "What I don't know can hurt me but I'm too dumb to notice or even care mentality" has served me well!

Thanks again!

[Doreen Peri]

LOL!! Great!

I love it!

minus the candybar and my chances of success are slim... heh

you've got a dorothy parker wit... y'know that?

No! I take that back! you have a mousey1 wit .. totally unique, all yours!

[mousey1]

Thanks Doreen...your kind words have tickled my pleasure bone!