coolers

[creativesoul]

after camping for twenty two days and watching the land breathe and clear that which did not belong there, the transformation is almost complete.after today with teepee poles and coolers washed out and a sudden desire to purge myself of alot of material objects. I was driving a friend home, and I sw a sign that said "free wood"
indonesian hardwood, and 2x3 and alot of 2x4 s. It had to be 500 $ worth of wood. I am installing a red enamel wood buring stove and putting a beautiful tall persons claw s foot bathtub and a garden window in my bathroom, what a total score. I think the bounty of the Creator s universe unfolded in my lap. the heat has me naked,, melting hot sitting in front of the fans. earlier, right here in Portland I was tying teepee poles to a very tall tree until the next time we need them.
turning a dough boy swimming poole into a yurt, guest house community room, what a groove. choices that include other people and the comfort of many into our lives.
I did not used to think like this
i used to think about ways that I could isolate from people. In some ways I think all that alone time has helped me to like the company of others. not tolerate, but really like people, sometimes loving people..., to me the biggest insult spiritually is to feel tolerated. I guess when you start to understand that patterns of previous lifetimes only got ya what was no longer working, ya have to change the pattern which is not that easy.
I have one more year of college to get a BA and then on to get a MAsters after one year off from school, and to honor other commitments as well, and then I will walk accross an invisiable bridge, and I have learned how to help other people to do the same, get stronger, become alive.
I never would have believed these things possible, that lil ole me could be more than a victim of a broken heart blah blah blah
i tire esily of the whining
get a life
it is more interesting to listen to other people when you have something to bring to the table offering prayer, love and poetry, late night laughter
real friendship. walking people to the edge of the desert.
sometimes i listen to people make fun of thier mothers. i cannot anymore because i see how much we are alike.i trace the shadow of all the family and i see them in my finger prints, hear them in my voice, the challenges and the time they lived in, alllike music, one note cannot really be much alone, together we mde music, they made me. i love them. they say that family is something that one day you return to, like a town, it is a like a distant memory on a dusty highway, somewhere you had to leave, just had to one day.. the one day, just had to go back,nothing else mattered.
the road taught me that I could look out the window and wonder about things like what will happen next? someting beautiful, like birth, like change, like love.
if we cannot wrap our blanket around the ones we love what can we do?
there is common relations among us, we all feel cool, hot, and happiness and sadness woven into our fibers, honoring those feelings is part of the threads of life.