Presidential Pre-cum

[izeveryboyin]

There is nothing more soulless and depressing than an hour spent watching the evening news at home in your underwear. The torrential downpour of horrific "fatally stabbed/raped/shot/ambushed" stories co-mingled with a vast amount of political "I'm gay/a rapist/stealing money from the poor in a more obvious manner than before/neurotic/murderous/an adulterer/" tales weave a very bleak portrait of reality indeed. Perhaps as prevalent as the endless list of senseless murder, rape and thievery stories, political scandal seems to have raised to an all-time high. Right now, Rod Blagojevich is plotting the murder of Judy Baar Topinka and Hilary Clinton is scheduled to mud-wrestle w/Condaleeza Rice for the chance to be the main chick running for office next year. The atmosphere is very tense.

Even with all that said, I suppose I must admit that I am somewhat uplifted by the fact that every once in a while the news will show us a politician like Jim McGreevey, Mark Foley, or Gary Condit w/his dick in his hands and we can actually be outraged. So often we are forced to look the other way as the men of politics stroke their members in pleasure at the thought of being able to continuously fuck us all and get away with it. Every public office is covered in semen from the fervent victorial masturbations of public officials, and we, the people are there with our mouths open to catch the over spray. Everything in current society revolves around sex. I should expect no less from our nation's leaders. In fact I would go as far as to say, however quiet it is kept, that accelerated sexual appetite is becoming a key quality in what makes a politician.

It is perhaps a dark sign of the times that we have supplemented life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness with the cum-filled bullshit we have to eat from that eagle-emblem podium every day. In fact, so dark a time is this, that it seems the elections exist for the simple, yet perverted purpose of picking the guy who'll be fucking us next. Pretty soon they'll be passing out condoms and lube along with every voter's registration card. We have been pacified with aggressive language manuvering and the slim statistics that exist out there to prove a politician's less than feeble point of finally having been the one to make a difference in American society.

The president of the United States of America hitches up his britches and fixes his elephant-eared face with a dim-witted smile as he prepares to bombard us with a sleuth of "indisputable evidence" that we must bomb this, nuke that and disembowel them, backed secretly by the famous Nixon quote:"When the President does it, that means it's not illegal." If that is true then what does that mean for the American people at large? Can we expect a lifetime of murder and destruction spear-headed by the goof-ball who stumbled into the Oval office in 2000 after a night of drunken bingeing with the boys from Texas, simply b/c we have been dicked into believing that the word "presidency" is the same thing as "god-incarnate"?

Bush struts up to the podium w/terms like "blanket-alert" and "axis of evil" under his jacket in a holster, ready for a fast draw. He wants you to know that he loves the American people. He wants you to know that the American people are wonderful. He wants you to know that the American people deserve the freedom they have worked so hard for in this young country. Bullshit. "There ought to be limits to freedom", he said, as he whipped out his dick and straddled the American flag. Where was that statement when supremacist satellite radio hosts were praising the murder of Joan Lefkow's mother and husband b/c Matthew Hale, "despite his methods, had the right idea"? Where was that statement when our own soldiers were torturing prisoners at Abu Ghariab? Where was that statement when it fucking mattered? It was there when half the country took to the streets to protest a war that, as we so rightly predicted, would create more problems than it would solve. It was certainly there when states all over the country were trying to pass a legislation outlawing every unregistered immigrant and even making federal offenders out of people like doctors and aid workers who helped them to become stable in this country. He himself said that freedom is at war with fear. What he failed to mention, due to a no doubt purely coincidental slip of memory, was that it is largely related to some of his own ill-advised decisions.

When these moments arrive, where there is need for explaination, why, ladies and gentlemen, allow me, Der Fuhrer to present to you Mrs.Wounded Widow So & So. Please feel free to gawk at and pity her as she weeps for her fallen loved ones that I have sent to war for my still unclear causes. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me, Commander in motherfucking CHIEF! to introduce little Mohommad Poor-but-rescued-refugee that we have welcomed to our nation. Listen to his fascinating story of how we saved him and brought him here to our magnificent land while our troops proceeded to burn his entire village to the ground. Don't worry, there was only a little collateral damage. Is your pussy wet yet? Mine is.

Ladies and gentleman, "we have seen the state of our Union in the endurance of rescuers, working past exhaustion". Well, actually, I didn't b/c I had flown the coup along with the first family to make sure that if those Iraqi bastards were going to come and nuke the rest of you, you could rest assured that your leader and his loved ones are safe before you die. I couldn't just sit there while our nation suffered such threat. "The threat comes from Iraq...its history of aggression, and its drive toward an arsenal of terror" never mind that we put guns in their hands to fight there own ill-purposed wars. The point is that as soon as it looked like they were getting out hand, we came in and handled those motherfuckers, right? And where's Sadaam now? He's on trial for his life, isn't he? Of course he is. He's fighting to justify his actions of murder and conspiracy using the weapons and resources we supplied him. And that's the American way. Ladies and Gents, your Leader knows what he's doing. While I was reading w/that kindegarten class when our country was attacked, I gave them a look that said clearly "speed up. I've got President things to do." Your Leader knows what he's doing. It has gotten to the point where I wake up wondering whether or not I should salute the flag or vomit on it.

This nation was built on blood. The blood of slaves, the blood of war, the blood of birth... it is the foundation of everything we know in this country. It is proof that we are the eternal badasses of the world... it is in fact the only reason why we have thrived so long without someone taking us all down in a blaze of glory... and believe me, they've wanted to. If I was from some far-off country with a television or a history book to recount every blunder of the American nationalist mentality (which is a blunder in itself) then I too would feel it necessary to remove the threat of stupidity at once. In fact, even now with my American passport and my American address I feel it necessary. Give me liberty, not totalitarinism disguised as holding the interests and safety of the American people at heart. Don't give me pre-packaged propaganda that you have rehearesed in the mirror and in front of your wife and campaign manager a hundred times to test the shock factor. And please don't give me this "continued occupancy is a nessecity" bullshit everytime you step up to the podium b/c fair is fair, and I think after having been bent over the president's desk with our pants down for the last 6 years, it's time for Bush to divvy out the benefits.

I walk through the halls of my liberal college plastered w/anti-oppression slogans. The student body is a living breathing example of the leftist cause. I notice a button on the bag of an art student that says "George W. Bush: President of 48 people in Miami-Dale County, Florida" and I laugh to myself. Six years ago that would have been true. Six years ago I would swear to anyone that he stole that election right out of the hands of the American people. But the horrible truth of it seems to be that Bush has finally won the hearts of the American voter during the last elections. He had those right-wing conservatives and church-goers in his back pocket. And to my dismay, while the right-wing set seems to be expanding, the left-wing set seems to be getting smaller. The entire world is pretending to be liberal during the day, but at night they go home muttering "nigger, fag, spic" under their breath as they endrue yet another evening of rush hour traffic.

All Bush had to do was push the war and the pending gay-marriage proposals into the faces of the American church-goers and he had inflicted upon all us normal, intelligent people yet another four years of perpetual dry-humping. W/Cheney at his back like a mother watching her child in a play backstage, whispering the lines, he dazzled us with a formidable compendium of pleasing lies and half-truths in order to secure what we are only too ready to give every four years to whatever asshole proves himself worthy: our livelihood. I have had to stand back for years now and watch the bleak drama unfold before my eyes as society digs itself into a ditch by turning a blind eye to every issue that is important, and I will no doubt conitnue to watch it until the day I die... or at least until the day I move to the south of France and become a recluse in a villa somewhere for the rest of my life.

A good majority of my friends will throw the word "revolution" at you in the same way the Bush will throw his useless spin-doctored terms. What they don't understand is that revolution, while a good idea in theory, has one major hole-- people. While there are a few who have woken up to the imperialist bullshit being fed to us on a regular basis, society at large remains blissfully ignorant. There will still be more people watching MTV in their underwear than people watching the news. There will still be more people out there partying, and having meaningless casual sex than people going to vote. W/that said, ladies and gents of the left-wing, keep yourselves braced. With elections fast approaching, and the people's unwillingness to be enlightenend, it only remains to be seen what will go up in smoke next, b/c half of us don't even see the threat that's staring at us from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. We're too busy trying to find it on the other side of an ocean.

[MrGuilty]

Izzy's Howl,
AG got nothing on you.

Thank you for saying it.
Very helpful for me to hear it so well articulated



Mousey probably think I am pandering when I say.

There is only one revolution, feminism. Not sure what that means anymore, but I think you put your finger on the sticking point. Testosterone poisoning. Those security moms got me wondering, Bush did not do so well among unmarried childless women. I find that distrubing for some reasons. Maybe it is a phallo-centric plot to blame women. Now they talk about mortgage moms. Hey the stock market is up, consumer confidence is high, the trains run on time, a chicken in every pot, free bread and plenty of circuses and cheap gasoline.

I like to pretend I have grand daughters sometimes. Powerful new women.

[mnaz]

A-- effin'--men!

(Damn right, we've been taking a pounding....)

[izeveryboyin]

thanks guys. I was afraid my long, drawling tirade would deflect readers for fear of being bored to death. Or otherwise having their eyes burn from seeing the word "cum" too many times. hahaha.

--k

[jimboloco]

i was trying to reply when went off line
and now back
i wanna compliment you on an excellent effort
not bored
nor offended by the usage of sexual terminology
as i see it
the sexual predator base metaphors for the attitude of the current administration as well as the "god-fearing" self-rightious pharisees who rule this amerikan nightmare
are the true expletives not to be deleted
we know that snow jobs are their main game

thankyou for the essay
should be on the front page ot the CHICAGO TIMES

at least i won't go crazy alone
and will vote anti-neo-con this election day

Pretty soon they'll be passing out condoms and lube along with every voter's registration card.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/ ... vigil4.jpg
women in pink south tampa
near the military base, macdilldo

[izeveryboyin]

as always jim, you delight me with your praise and insight.

--k