saucy jacks

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joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

saucy jacks

Post by joel » September 26th, 2007, 4:22 pm

Such novel uses many others stand
upon each finger and enumerate
as handiworks to which their hands aspire—
that seldom fold to pray; that masturbate
at ease; that force their verses come from pens;
that life salute, one finger at a time—
Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,
give them your fingers, me your lips to kiss*
alone, that if my body were a crime-
scene, not the strongest magnifying lens
could scrutinize our love nor violate
our privacy— And let us lone admire
a single work our hands employ: to wait
on holy moments treasured hand in hand.




*final lines from Shakespeare's Sonnet 128:
Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,
give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss.
Last edited by joel on September 26th, 2007, 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

Totenkopf

Post by Totenkopf » September 26th, 2007, 4:34 pm

Lines 7-8 are rather good. Bravo!

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joel
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Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Post by joel » September 26th, 2007, 4:52 pm

I agree!
That's why I here
hold far more dear
what others write
from truer skill
while I delight
from places ill
to scribble
the dribble
of my self-spoke
therapy. :roll:
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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Lightning Rod
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Post by Lightning Rod » September 26th, 2007, 11:26 pm

line 11
do you need a 'nor' rather than an 'or'?

I hate to tinker with your stuff, joel
it's so natural

when I was locked up
I would sometimes wake up at night
and my right hand would be trying to strangle my left hand
out of pure jealousy
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

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joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Post by joel » September 26th, 2007, 11:36 pm

thanks for the heads-up on the nor...my boredom is shifting to laziness.

Queen Noor spoke at my college graduation. It was your progessive standard speech. Margaret Thatcher showed up to rebuff all her crazy Arab liberalism. After the fiasco of having to hug Kofi Annan for a snap-shot of two Nobel Peace Prize winners (and perhaps to avoid the hypocrisy therein again), Kissinger didn't show face that day. Nor Nor Nor

i guess jealousy is a good enough reason to not let the one hand know what the other's up to....
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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