Tearing the Twat (continuation of a theme)

[Lightning Rod]

At the risk of continuing to spend too much time here (still need that vacation...), this is an interesting philosophical sort of question. Does skillful, artistic arrangement of words-- any words-- in and of itself make writing "poetic"? Or are certain words so fundamentally "apoetical" that their inclusion negates poetic quality no matter how they might possibly be arranged? Then again, what are "apoetical" words? I suppose we could never all agree on that in the first place... Hmm...

interesting take on this, mark

would it have been any less poetic if Gertie Stein had said:

A cunt
is a cunt
is a cunt
is a cunt

?

same syllables
same subject matter
same rhythm

A rose
is a rose
is a rose
is a rose

[bennie2]

sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet cunt.

stein was a filthy fucker! I drink green tea. sweet sweet sweet...green cu... no. can't say that.

I think all words are poetical and worthy of inclusion in a poem. all subjects can be poetic. Same with comedy. I think all subjects are fair game. it's the intent. the intent of the words. what's the reason for what you write/say?

maybe i'm too apathetic? ha. too much of a "nothing shocks me" sort of person? maybe. what would be the poem equivalent of "the aristocrats" joke? howl caused a great outcry... why, it caused a howl.

poetry is a banana.

[stilltrucking]

it's the intent. the intent of the words. what's the reason for what you write/say?

what you don't intent won't hurt you

poetry is the content of the intent of the the unintended
it is yellow
could be a banana
but it is shaped more like a strawberry

A Shmuck
is a shumck
is a shumck
is a shumck

Stein had an immaculate vagina
no shumcks intented there

[stilltrucking]

sorry clay
I am in a dark place
if not for the sunshine on my face
the wind in the live oak trees
I never could have made it this far
I never was done wrong by a woman
I have never paid my dues.

sorry for the ramble

bennie I don't know nothing about poetry
well I know one thing
if is far from me.

and I know nothing about vaginas
I was just in it for the feeling

[Totenkopf]

All this time and at all times wait the words of true poems,
The words of true poems do not merely please,
The true poets are not followers of beauty but the august masters of beauty;
-Whitman, Song of the Answerer

Walt's not on my Top 10 list of poeticals, but he had a point here (as DP pointed out). Why write bar-speak, or street slang that most people hear all the time? Indeed, a more rigorous creative writing board would simply delete the porn-spam............. sans merci. Or as Zappa once said , broken hearts are for assholes (rah-thur vulgar, but at least amusing)

[judih]

it's a good poem
it's a heartfelt poem
it's authentic

words used may not ring well with some,
and that's a subjective call
but the poet is using words in context, in personality, and the message is well-communicated

[hester_prynne]

I think there is something to the use of words.
Why we might choose words anyway.
I'm with the Doreen on the poetic use of some.
I mean is it possible we use certain words, especially the more edgy words such as are being used here when we ourselves are in more vulnerable states?
Crying into a labia seems like a cry for help to me.
A cry for comfort, from a lost soul phase maybe? We've all been in that phase havent we? and tested the edges as we suffer through?

I wouldn't want to cry into a scrotum, or a penis ever.
It seems like that would be a unique take on a theme though eh?

I see more "poetic useage" of the words vagina, cunt, pussy etc than I do for penis, prick, cock or dick. Why is that?

Just some thoughts and trying to go deeper, perhaps over the poetic edge that is currently being fondled? Toyed with perhaps?
Cries for help are necessary. The more direct the better.....
H

[Doreen Peri]

hey, maybe i missed the whole point... hmmm..

I thought it was just an attention grabbing mechanism...

I truly didn't think there was any attempt at writing real poetry here. Honestly I didn't. I thought it was just sorta an adolescent-type internet "literary" trick .... Use some reference to sex in the title, especially with words that have questionable or no association with class, then people will click. And maybe people will laugh. But there will be all those views anyway.

So, that's what I thought. I didn't think it was serious at all. I had no idea this piece could possibly represent sincere suffering. It didn't seem heartfelt to me, nor authentic, nor genuine.

All it seemed like to me was that a very fine poet was throwing out low-class words in order to get people to laugh with him.

So.... hey, Lightning Rod... after reading all these replies (especially those from the ladies)... I feel enlightened and that possibly I was wrong?... and if that's the case, sorry I laid on the critique like that. And if it makes you feel better, I'm also suffering and I don't have anybody's sexual organs to cry into but my own so well... I just take my buxom self to bed every night and weep into my cleavage. But that's another poem.

But if I'm right (as I suspect I am), then my critique stands.

And there you have it. I'm such a twat.

[stilltrucking]

out low-class words in order to get people to laugh with him.

low class words
only beatniks use low class words
never going to get posted at litkicks
using words like that

hell I thought it was a good poem
I was speaking from my own pain
nothing worse than losing a vagina
unless you are a woman hater

I wish I could lose another
geezers thrive on broken hearts
But I am a rock
and a toothless tiger
never again
and that's what tortures me.

on and on

twit
twaddle
twiddle
taint nothing but a ramble
sorry

[Lightning Rod]

bennie, again you nail it:

I think all words are poetical and worthy of inclusion in a poem. all subjects can be poetic. Same with comedy. I think all subjects are fair game. it's the intent. the intent of the words. what's the reason for what you write/say?

truck, I know what you mean about dark places (like your wonderful humor)
but I prefer them to be dark And wet

tote, Frank also asked: "What's the nastiest part of your body?"
Whitman would have answered, "There is no nasty part."

judih, the highest compliment anyone can give me is 'authentic.'
thank you

hest, poets are all pathetic creatures and perhaps most poems are cries for help.
I look forward to your scrotum poem. Also I would love to hear your version of this tune: (round midnight)
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doreen, shock is a basic element of poetry. Also the use of real language. If you want to call it gutter language, that's up to you. This poem is not about pussy, it's about pain and comfort....I already have more attention than I desire.

[mnaz]

I think a "transcendence" of some sort is poetic essence, for lack of a better way to put it... liberal application of metaphor, etc... rich imagery at an economy of words and mechanics of language. But yes, it seems poetic expression and its mode(s) are not necessarily tied to (or annihilated by) words and their connotations themselves... Ultimately, that is in the eye and ear of the beholder.

Still, though...
"A cunt
is a cunt
is a cunt
is a cunt"... (?)

Does this shock? Dunno. But it is blunt, and I suppose there is poetry in blunt... (especially after logging time with, say, euphemistic cable newsspeak).

[stilltrucking]

If you refer to a man as a prick
Is that the same as saying cunt when refering to a woman?

To me

nothing to do with Clay's intent probably

it

sounds
like
anger

I have no bizness commenting on poetry




all a poem means to me

is what it means to me

ANger is authentic.

I am so old
this is all so far from me

sorry

I wish I had a lost lover to cry over

But it has been twenty eight years since my last vagina
My tears have dried
All I can do is spit in my hand.

[bennie2]

But it has been twenty eight years since my last vagina
My tears have dried
All I can do is spit in my hand.

i laugh because i understand, ST.

[hester_prynne]

Round midnight is one of my faves, especially the version you posted.
Here's a song I've been working on lately for some reason. It seems to be appropriate to post it here on this thread.....heh

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[stilltrucking]

Ten four clay, it is dark as a dungeon down in that jewel mine, you know women don't have to face the same heart break of hydraulics that men do. A little dab of 90 weight gear lube and they are good to go.

I been thinking about doing a riff on His Last Duchess
Going to call it His Last Vagina

Sweetest vagina I ever knew
My first true love
We went steady for five years
I met her at her sweet 16 party
I was only 15
I can still remember what she was wearing that night
After five years of heavier and heavier petting
I was finally in like Flynn
But it was brief
I was in it for about a five seconds
She was saying no all along

But I finally looked in her face
And saw that she meant it
It was such a sorrowful retreat

She had asked me to marry her
And I had said no
She had moved on and I was trying to hang on
Use sex to manipulate her maybe

Ah shit good time Charlie got the blues.
I was such a moma’s boy
I asked my mother if I could get married
And momma said, "Oh Jacky: Don't, there are plenty of fish in the sea."










If I only had more nerve endings in my fingers
Life would be good again.

Say it with music


Is it just me or do women have all the great kiss off songs?

I like this one.
He sang this at a swank night club in Washington DC back in the seventies, the music reviewer for the Washington Post called him a "Barroom Baritone"
Not her cup of tea

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