How Hunter killed himself

[sooZen]

Sham, ju, hes, et al.

I guess the reason that I find self murder so distasteful is the leavin's especially when it is done with a gun. This is not a peaceful end but Hunter certainly lived by the gun and died the same way.

Of course, one never knows what they would do if diagnosed with a terminal illness or was suffering terribly. My son was given only a year to 16 months to live when he was but a babe...he is now going on 29 years so taking your life deprives not only you but the world around you of what you may do in this lifetime. That boy has been a lifesaver for me many a time.

I think it was chickenshit...not brave, cowardly but I agree with you that say it was his right...now, it is better to take the right to die or the right to live? I can only speak as to my opinions. We all make bad choices, do things we are sorry for or regret but Hunter made the worst choice of all and he's gone and nothing will change that...

Peace,
SooZen

[Lightning Rod]

When I was thirty-five, I got sentenced to thirty-five years in prison. That pretty well chewed up my biblically alloted three score and ten.

I was hopelessly addicted to opiates and in major withdrawal when they locked me up. I figured it was time to check out. In the Brazos County Jail I began looking for ways to snuff myself. I made a rope out of my blanket and tried to hang myself in the shower. But the shower wasn't tall enough.

When I was shipped to Huntsville, I began looking for razor blades and even wistfully at electrical outlets. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life in a cage.

Then, because of the severity of my withdrawal, they put me in the hospital at the Walls Unit in Huntsville. They put me in a room with a guy on a respirator. There was a big oxygen tank there. I wanted to smoke a cigarette, so I asked the guard/nurse if I should go into the other room. The idiot said I should just smoke it there, two feet from the oxygen tank. This guy's respirator was hissing out a steady stream of vaporous oxygen (very flammable.) I pointed to it and the guard finally saw what a stupid idea it would have been to light a cigarette next to the oxygen.

So, he moved me to the next room.

I was in my bed smoking a cigarette when I saw a flash from the next room. It looked like a camera flashbulb. Then there was another. In short order, several officials with clipboards (that's how you know somebody is an official--if they have a clipboard) came walking through the room. A few moments later they wheel the respirator guy through my room in a purple body bag. He was dead.

It looked like a very permanent condition. All thoughts of suicide vanished from my head at the moment they wheeled that dead guy through my room.

It was obvious to me at that point that suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.