Is marrige an antiquated concept?

[whimsicaldeb]

Antiquated: So extremely old as seeming to belong to an earlier period
Yes.
Antiquated: Make obsolete or old-fashioned
No

Marriage isn't obsolete, but it is from another period. However, it's as old-fashioned as made so by those the marriage.

Our marriage isn't typical by any means; neither is my friend's Sue & Jon marriage; nor my step-mom's; nor my brothers... but my cousin's sure is.

Marriages are what the people in them, make of them.

I like being married, I like the perks that come with being married and I don't mind doing the work involved in being married. The integrity, compromise and dedication; like any type of art form.

I'm lucky. I actually love my husband and the greatest luck of all is that (for what ever his reasons and I still find it fascinating) my husband still loves me in return.

We took the commitment we have towards each other to that next level, we made it 'legally binding.' I'm not sorry and neither is he.

There is this "something" that we share that should events happen that would somehow cause us to become divorced, neither of us would say we're sorry we married each other. Our lives together is not a not a mistake.

Maybe that's the something that makes marriage, or any type of relationship, work.

[hester_prynne]

Indeed, maybe the word "marriage' is antiquated.
Because what you all are saying, judih, dor, whimsical, I am totally in agreement with. I think I see alot of marriages/relationships that are run into the ground and no one is really happy. You three have good relationships and that is hopeful for me....it truly is.
For me too, it is being with that person you like to be with, and that that person feels very much the same. When that is in the mix, things do work out. It makes sense. Maybe i've never really experienced that. I hope I do someday.
As far as the beautiful thing, I dunno, I do feel beautiful but I don't feel like i'm the kind of beautiful that men are into. I never have been.
When Stella's dad dumped me for a "beautiful" younger woman, I just knew I was not interested in competing with that, ever. Most men I've dated or been involved with since then, well they were always looking at the beautifuls, right in front of me and it always left me feeling very ugly and second rate. I don't like feeling that way! It makes me cranky and mean, or worse, clingy. Yuk, squared.
A little sign that I was still in their minds would have helped, but these guys were droolers!
I see many men my age every single day, and they are not looking at me. They are looking at the "beautifuls" as I call them. I am invisible amongst that. I never was a sexy type, running around in 3 inch heels and hotpants. They are too uncomfortable and I would feel silly in such attire. I'm just me. Freckles, (age spots now), clean and tidy, and all comfort on the outside, full of love and hope on the inside and it's sensitive. Of course I overprotect that sensitivity anymore, who wouldn't?
But hey, I like myself. I think I have beauty.
Does that make sense?
Thank you guys for your responses. The door for a companion in my life has never been shut. But no one is knocking either, heh. Not when there is all that pretty sexy other stuff out there looking like it wants to be pollinated immediately!!!!!! (did i spell that right?)
If my thinking is off here, by all means, enlighten me.
Stilltrucker, thank you for being you......
H

[judih]

well, hmmm.
my first husband didn't drool exactly - he came right out and told me that xx gave him a hard-on. He was quite open, which was good! Openly, I said 'goodbye' when it turned out that he'd made xx a permanent fixture in his life.

My current partner doesn't drool. He's been through a slew of gorgeous, traditionally hot ladies and knowing them, he fell for me. That shoulda told me something. And he continues to tell me. I am not a traditional hot pants kinda human being, but I turn him on.

That's all that counts. I do it for him. He does it for me. And I don't look to the National Enquirer's seal of approval for 'hotness'.

There are human beings who wander this earth who see beyond the outer dermis and long for a loving open individual. The droolers exist, of course. First sign of drool, and they show themselves for what they are.

Not everyone drools. Of this I'm convinced.
(drooling in sleep does not count)
One can grow out of drooling, pass beyond the stage.
One can reach the phase of appreciative glance, as an artist would admire a beautiful landscape, while not having to claim the view, pillage or conquer.

It's possible to find a non-pillager, of this I'm sure.