what is it about a good fight

[K&D]

being mad is part of life, its something you have to go through you can't just deny it...it helps you realize things, when you get over it...i'm not talking about making decisions while mad...i think another issue we're all having here is that the descussion has too many different things to disscus you know.

heres a basic restatement
1. conflict is bound to happen and its helpfull (not nessicarily violent conflict)
2. being mad is part of life and it helps you realize things...its also part of life and should not be completely avoided.

thats it...i'm done.

[stilltrucking]

"Do not provoke your children to anger"

just pulling your leg KD cause know you should get the final word here but i feel pretty grouchy this morning. Got to go get my blood drawn and I can't eat, cant have no coffee so I figured i would try and jerk your chain one more time

Joseph Campbell tells the story of the samurai warrior who was about to kill his enemy to avenge the murder of his lord. Just before he could strike with his sword the enemy spit in his face. The samurai sheathed his sword and walked away.

And here is the first line of this string

what makes you have a destructive personality?

"My dearest friends are total strangers the wish me freedom and self destruction"

by the cowboy hemingway. I been changing it to self deconstruction what ever that means.

Are we talking about anger or destructive personalities?

[K&D]

i don't know anymore....i just had to report one of my best friends to the school...she's got skitsophrenia and its undiagnosed last night she handed me a razor blade she has for sculpting so she wouldn't be tempted to cfut again like she use to...anyways i just imformed her and she didn't look mad but she definetly wans't smilling but what else was i suppose to do...

[stilltrucking]

For a heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
You become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
Wrapped up in a trap of your very own
Chain of sorrow

John Prine

I am sorry to hear about your friend. When my my oldest brother graduated med school one of our uncles asked him what kind of a doctor he was going to be. He said well probably what ever would help my family the most. He became a psychiatrist.
Freud predicted that bio chemistry is the answer.

I took a kick in the head this morning (not literaly) my beautiful plans for a future full of money love and dreams crashed and burned. I found myself thinking "I wish I was dead" as soon as I said it I knew I ddin't mean it. They say thoughts of suicide has got many a man through a bad night. Life is so beautiful, still is with all the shit coming down. Still beautiful. I don't know what it is about the sophomoe year in college, why it is such a bitch. Maybe professor Z would have some input on that. Hang tight, keep keep keeping on, you are sunshine to me little sister. I hope your friend pulls through. Any drugs involved, some people should avoid them even something as harmless as pot can fuck them up big time.
okay done preaching
take care talk at you later.

[K&D]

no drugs involved this time, it happened naturally, the only other time that it happened when i knew her, that i knew about anyway, was after she smoked pot...i remember her being really freaked out.

thanks for the advice, its good to here.

[YABYUM]

My definition of conflict, I suppose, is opposite ideals. Conflict is not violent. Conflict may lead to violence, but if it was fact that conflict always led to violence, I would be a cripple. I conflict with everyone around me every fucking day. This world is full of negatives and positives. I am the battery. I enjoy conflict, it stirs me creatively. I enjoy debate. Life is boring enough without having to be agreed with all the time. I enjoy creating conflict even when I agree. It has proved a true method, for me, in finding what someones true colors are, how timid they are, what kind of asshole liars they are, and very fucking rarely, creating conflict will lead me to absolutely giving someone my full respect. As does a good fight. I have a friend who has beaten me sensless at least three times that I can remember. We were't friends when we met. We were too alike. Both verbal combatants. This fella is six foot two and is built like a brick shithouse. The first time we threw down was at his provocation. I didn't back down. Fully aware that I was in for a beating. But I landed one or two solid shots that left an impression. We have been close as brothers since. The other fights with him were real enough, but not quite the same. Had I backed away or ran because of fear, I would have always regreted it, and I would have missed out on the many great years of stories we've made and continue making. I can't recall anytime that I actually ran away from anyone because of fear. I have played injured or unconcious. I have pretended to be so smashed that it wasnt worth his effort, but I have never ran away. It's the fear that won't let me run. My legs just don't think of it. Instead, all that fear gets pumped through my heart and I become ready. Whats the worst? Death? Paralyses? Killing? So be it. Although I have never ever been in a situation where I posessed an object of any sort for the intended purpose of violence. I remember this gang of assholes in Montreal. I was smoking a joint in a semi secluded area. These fellas (5) walked up and just started making idol chatter. I knew badness was afoot. I asked if they'd like to smoke a little with me. They smiled and I handed off the joint. My back was to a concrete wall, two assholes on my left, two on my right, and a little mouth staring me dead on in the eyes. He did all the talking. I never heard a sound from the other four. "thanks for the joint, now your wallet and your jacket". I looked down at the leather bomber my little brother had given me. "are you fucking crazy? My wallets empty and this jacket won't fit you, you're to fuckin small". The assholes on my left reduced thier distance to less than 3 feet away. The assholes on my right stayed about 5.
The mouth held his hands out to the assholes as if to say, Not yet.
He reached into his inner breast pocket while saying "last chance"
I reached slowly for my wallet and said "Hey, no need to show me your little friend" (I said this in a Scareface accent) I don't know if there was really any kind of weapon. He used that same hand to reach out for my wallet. Our eyes were locked, although I was on springs in case of any sudden asshole movements. As the wallet was about to enter his hands I said, very calmy and sharply, with a smile "you're not getting this coat unless I'm dead". I was fucking frightened out my soul. But I meant it. I started walking, casually to my right. The two assholes closed the gap, I thought about running. I just kept walking. That was it. No swinging. Just an empty wallet. My money was in my pocket and my ID was home because I had a few legal issues and didnt want to have a photo of me, on me. It was a very strange vibe. I think That fucking mouth knew that if he made a move, he was going to get blasted first and that I was drunk enough and serious enough to keep swinging until I was dead. If I had hesitated for a second or tried to run, I think I would have been tackled and beaten ferociously. I am also pretty sure that there was no weapon. I lit a smoke and went back into the bar around the corner. I was shaking with adrenaline and fear. I felt lucky and invincible. I felt like that mouth and I were of the same mold. We probably could have become good friends under different meeting conditions.

[YABYUM]

whoops.....double post.

[K&D]

I enjoy conflict, it stirs me creatively. I enjoy debate. Life is boring enough without having to be agreed with all the time. I enjoy creating conflict even when I agree. It has proved a true method, for me, in finding what someones true colors are, how timid they are, what kind of asshole liars they are, and very fucking rarely, creating conflict will lead me to absolutely giving someone my full respect.

thats exactly how i feel, i love stirring up conflict to see what kind of people peoplel are...i look pushing peoples boarders, whether that be by putting them on the spot, humor or conflict.

[stilltrucking]

someones true colors are, how timid they are, what kind of asshole liars they are, and very fucking rarely, creating conflict will lead me to absolutely giving someone my full respect.

Let me save you some time, you don’t want to respect me, my color is yellow, I must be Japanese, Pearl Harbor was a good idea, I suppose.
If you want to swing on me cause I punch your button better not turn your back on me. I think I have run out of cheeks to turn. I have just stood there and bleeding the last couple of times someone swung on me. Just stood there thinking I got to kill this son of bitch, but my fear would not let me, they say the beginning of wisdom is the fear of G-d.
I think it says in the bible something about “men who I respect one in a thousand, women none” I am just the opposite

It's the fear that won't let me run.

Yeah I been ashamed of my fears too. But the day I slid backward off a ten thousand foot mountain in Colorado made me listen to them more. Spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it is to be a man. I got nothing to prove to anyone

Whats the worst?

The worst is killing your brother.
We obviously have a lot of conflict here brother, maybe someday we will resolve them. I heard you are leaving just wanted to post this spontaneous gibberish to you before you left. I have only given your post one fast read. Going to re read and see if what I have posted reltates.

[stilltrucking]

"living in usefull terror, thinking mindlessly with their spinal chords" paraphrase of Vonnegut talking about the two scouts behind enemy lines in Slaughter House Five.

Reptile brain it is still there, down deep beneath our thinking brain. Instinct knowing when to run when to walk away. Not something you think about, it happens to fast.
The word as a weapon, a sword.
looking for a haiku I posted to litkicks as "short timer" about monkey brain encapsulates phylogeny.

coming back asap

[stilltrucking]

thanks levi that haiku board was just a big waste of time and money i suppose. Maybe you donated to the Smithsonian?

sorry. It is still there just got to hunt for the link

http://www.litkicks.com/BoardArchive/index.html

[mousey1]

Well speaking for myself, when you come from conflict you sure as hell don't want to be around people who enjoy stirring it up. To drag someone out of their comfort zone under the pretense of helping them or to observe their reactions is just so much bullshit. Some of us need our comfort zones. Puhlease!!!!

Each to his own I guess. But there's alot to be said for compassion.

Please tell me you don't really enjoy playing with people's feelings!

Don't you two young mites know that it is unkind to push people's buttons for whatever your reasons. We are not toys for your amusement!

Anyway, just thought I'd toss in my common cents worth.

No judgements! But you sound like meanies. Tho I know that's not really the case.

[stilltrucking]

no mousie no meanie me, I am just a big sissie. I been punched out so many times in the past couple of decades . I suppose it is just my karma. I guess I just get what is coming.. I have never raised a hand to strike anyone in many of moon. I just don't understand yabyum, not trying to push his button. Just an anthropologist at heart I suppose. Trying to understand the phenomena of man. It seems like he has such a romantic ideal of violence. I would rather talk about snaggle puss to tell you the truth.

Additional comment

Mousey1 this sounds macho probably, but I have never been knocked out or knocked off my feet by any blow ever struck on me. They took there best shot and I was still on my feet I think that is what saved me from worse. I think they were startled thought i would go down and that was that. Not even a two by four took me down. Nobody has rung my gong yet. But there is always a first time as the Texans say.

"Willin"
I've been kicked by the wind, robbed by the sleet
Had my head stoved in, but I'm still on my feet
And I'm still
Willin'