dream book

[stilltrucking]

I hardly ever picked up hitchhikers
It had to be a dire situation.
I picked up that woman in far west texas down on the border across from Juarez where all the women have been murdered She looked so scared, but it turned out she was just running from the cops. I trust abstroint a lot. I knew where she was coming from and it was not sexual. Whenever I picked up a woman I would questionned my motives.

I liked that movie Some like it hot. Am I going for a pity fuck?

I don't care about this right now I am listening to the news... Mike Cahil's favorite song "there will be roses" an irish wake song, Cahil the only civilian to be killed at fort hood. Where is my outrage about the killings ? George W Bush has so much blood on his hands, thousands and thousands of people died because of him and his bullshit wars. I wish I believed in hell. I would be happy to go there
just to see him there.
the five people you will meet in hell
might be an interesting title for a book

Blood sugar 145 this morning
Thinking about your daughter and the sugar needle
Lsd is mild next to the black mood swings of diabetes

A day I don't see u round here is a day without shushine baby sister
thank you
I just had breakfast
maybe I should be more careful what I write when I am hungry and grouchy.

sorries

[SadLuckDame]

It's ok by me what you write Trucker.
I'm sorries about my nature and the truth of things, that I bend everyone's story, I'll make it fit the story in my head I'm creating. That's the gist of it.
I'm making a story.
If you'd not screwed in 30 years, then I'd not be able to make you into the catfish, for he's a skirt chaser, he'd have 20 babies by now because I haven't heard from him in almost a years time.
And in order to escape, I gots to have my created story in my head. To daydream, to believe, I've gotta not believe other things said.
I take what I want and use it, Jack.
I'm sorries for that.
The rest I pretend is his imagination,
a fully developed imagination.
It's all in my imagination.
All this freedom in my head.

So see, I'm sorries too, Jack.

It's prolly not very nice of me to do it, but there was the catfish, then the magician, then you the Trucker who picked me up; a hitchhiker and I bend and shape and mold to create what it is that keeps me smiling everyday. You do give me smiles, that's why I'd hopped in the truck. But, some things gotta be made into new things and it all works out some how, if we're both smiling regardless of male Scorpios, blood sugars and Bush or regardless of if I'm not Abstroint or if the rabbit hates me now or if I'm loony, none of it matters if we just create and go, go, go into smiling together in it.

Don't be mad with me.
We're just two escapees
having fun.
Are you gonna boot me
from the truck now, Jack?

[stilltrucking]

No truck no more dame




like that picture, someone posted it a while back, terri I think, constanine's friend

I don't need anything anymore
Just got to deal with my sexual karma as best I can
I am not catfish sister
I am just an old hermit
going to back out of here
cause it is all so confusing
don't know who is mad at who
Spinoza tells me I got everything I need
I don't need a shotgun anymore
I don't need women
I just need my paddle ball and this lamp and this chair and this...

[SadLuckDame]

Well I guess that's a yes, bye bye dame.
You don't have to be the catfish
just accepting I'm who I am.

[stilltrucking]

Me too

[SadLuckDame]

Ya know I'm naught but a crazy girl.

[stilltrucking]

Come to think of it I don't need the chair. I just need the paddle ball, that's all.

"Can a self, a soul, a consciousness, an "I" arise out of mere matter?"

_______________________________

Ya know I'm naught but a crazy girl.

Well I am not only tripping more than you I am also crazier than you.

"I am a strange loop"

Been good trucking with you dame, I am finding the courage to face my fear of woman with you.

You got a ticket to ride sister.



We all got to walk our lonesome valleys for ourselves it is true
But sometimes maybe we can walk them together in solitude.
At least I hope so.

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[SadLuckDame]

I'll let you think you're crazier than I. But, damn I woke up with the craziest dream really early this am. It was an identity dream and I felt 'visited'. I'm smiles about you, even if we do get into these tempers.
I've got more moon than you.
Tonight is the new one.
Thanks Jack, I'm glad to know you.

[Doreen Peri]

But, damn I woke up with the craziest dream really early this am. It was an identity dream and I felt 'visited'.

I had a nightmare last night. It was about 12:30 or 1am.

I dreamed I was in bed where I was but there was this tent around me. I looked up and there was a camera peering through the top of the tent filming me. I was literally terrified. I don't know why this scared me so much. I was "visited", I guess... the camera was evil... I don't know who was watching me.

I literally... in real life... woke up screaming, "no no no no no!", threw the covers off the bed and ran out into the corridor.

I woke my daughter. I scared the shit out of her. I scared the shit outa myself, too.

I've never in my life bolted from my bed like that from a nightmare! Maybe I need psychoanalysis.

[stilltrucking]

First thought
Stage Fright?
Thinking about carly simon for some reason


.

[Doreen Peri]

Way worse than stage fright.... it was terrorism of some sort... Big Brother but other worldly. Some great evil... some very ugly evilness. Extermely wicked and terrifying. It was fear. Pure fear.

[SadLuckDame]

I looked up and there was a camera peering through the top of the tent filming me.

That'd give me the for sure heebie geebies. Would be enough to make me nuts in the middle of the night.

Mine was early this am, and I woke up from being visited, the visitor had said he knew xyz about me already. It felt very real as if they were right next to my ear, eep.

[stilltrucking]

I dreamt about a monster ape like looking thing with a single horn growing out of his head. He was grunting at me like an enraged gorilla so I started grunting back at him. I grunted so loud I woke myself up. I went back to sleep and the son of bitch was back in my dream again. But this time I noticed it was not a horn on his head but one of those little silly conical party hats that kids wear at birthday parties. And he was not angry just excieted about the party. Sometimes you can dream your way out of dream. We are all hollywood directors in our dreams, our unconscious artist is a genuis. Got to trust him/her/it. That's my opinion. I love my dreams, good bad or indifferent. Cheap entertainment.

[SadLuckDame]

Sometimes you can dream your way out of dream.

That's so true, I should attempt to do it more often and confront the scary things. I like your dream. I wish I had a grunting gorilla with a horn or party hat. It reminds me of a scene I saw in The Last Tango in Paris you directed me too. I'm not sure I liked the scene so much, but the reminder of it made me laugh. I'd like to see the full movie of it, only caught a few clips.

I don't know if I dreamt last night.

[stilltrucking]

Women have more moon
Yes
Last Tango
What a trip that movie was for us
Later we talked about it and she said she did not like it
and I said why didn't you say something
and she said "I was just going with the flow."
she was like that
I remember looking in the mirror and seeing her watching me behind her in the mirror. She liked to watch people.


I still feel faint with desire when I think about her body.