National Mental Healthcare Week - call-in line

[Doreen Peri]

some of these are funny

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Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

Ø If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

Ø If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

Ø If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Ø If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line so we can trace your call.

Ø If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

Ø If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

Ø If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer your call anyway.

Ø If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

Ø If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

Ø If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

Ø If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

Ø If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

[stilltrucking]

some of these are funny

I liked every one
hard to pick a favorite