I'm gonna

Post your poetry, any style.
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mtmynd
Posts: 7225
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 17th, 2019, 9:03 am

i'm gonna change myself
into a turquoise lagoon
and harbor great sailing
ships from around the world -
their hulls filled with
riches from coastal towns
caressing the shores
like small feet dipping
into a child's pool
for the very first time.

i'm gonna call myself 'nod'
and laff at reality's joke
while strumming a mandolin
made of a tree that stood
thirty paces from the sea
that lapped her roots
but left its salt to the
deer that grazed the tidepools
sprinkled across the sands
sparkling like mini-universes
in the fountains of my eyes.

i'm gonna reach for the
horsehead nebula and swing
my legs over it's torso
and go for a ride into eternity
waving my left hand thats
releasing gold and diamond
stepping stones for others
to follow without
a care in their heads
whistling roy roger songs
from the black & white tv
westerns made for whitey.

i'm gonna...
one of these days...
some day...
some way...
some how...
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

saw
Posts: 6043
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: I'm gonna

Post by saw » May 17th, 2019, 11:56 am

great writing
imaginative in concept
well constructed in the imagery
and an overall delightful experience for this reader.... 8)
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

mtmynd
Posts: 7225
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 17th, 2019, 4:12 pm

saw wrote:
May 17th, 2019, 11:56 am
great writing
imaginative in concept
well constructed in the imagery
and an overall delightful experience for this reader.... 8)
Thank you much, amigo!
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

theirishsea
Posts: 592
Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:09 am

Re: I'm gonna

Post by theirishsea » May 19th, 2019, 9:44 am

I'm thinking would this poem get into one of those academic journals? I don't know but this poem is pretty damn interesting. Your imagination led you off into a rich communication of your visions. Maybe the ending----I'm gonna----might be a question or a resolution but I think the poem accomplishes that fact. Puts some of it into the past tense---though we(readers) all hope there is more to come.
The Irish Sea Is Always In Turmoil, Even When Calm.

mtmynd
Posts: 7225
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 20th, 2019, 1:00 am

theirishsea wrote:
May 19th, 2019, 9:44 am
I'm thinking would this poem get into one of those academic journals? I don't know but this poem is pretty damn interesting. Your imagination led you off into a rich communication of your visions. Maybe the ending----I'm gonna----might be a question or a resolution but I think the poem accomplishes that fact. Puts some of it into the past tense---though we(readers) all hope there is more to come.
TYVM, TIS... much appreciated. ;)
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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mnaz
Posts: 6668
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mnaz » May 21st, 2019, 12:53 pm

My expert literary critique: Awesome. Star stuff in all its forms and excursions. Cosmic cowboy. Rope that nebula!

For some reason this poem put a coupla tunes in my head -- a hint of Steve Miller's 'The Joker', when 'nod' laffed and strummed his mandolin, and the title ... I'm gonna. I can't hear that without thinking of an old Max Romeo tune ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpIAc9by5iU

Completely unrelated, of course...

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Doreen Peri
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Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
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Re: I'm gonna

Post by Doreen Peri » May 21st, 2019, 6:03 pm

Great work!

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