play

[Axanderdeath]

the worse love story ever
(based on true events)

The meeting



On the dark rainy street around 4 am. Montreal spring time--The glowing over cast clouds. Two men come out from a bar. One has a tight white shirt and short curly hair. One has some messy hair and is slightly shorter. and is dressed I rags and carries a jam packed garbage bag.

Tight tee shirted man-Steve I will show you how to make some real money bro.

Steve-what? Squeegee car windows?--Steve says with a laugh.

Tight tee shirted guy-yeah here I'll give you my squeegee. I gotta get a pack of smokes.

Steve-cool.

Tight tee shirt guy runs down the rainy street. Steve holds the squeegee up to the front of his face and smiles. And walks up to the lights and sits his garbage bag next to a lamp post. Washes a window or two. A tall dark haired girl walks by. Steve bums a smoke by holding his to fingers to his face as if smoking an invisible cigarette.

Girl-I think I might join you

Steve-be my guest. Yeah I’m tramping around the country. Just got in to town. hey, you think I could crash on your floor?

Girl-sure, what's you name.

Steve-Steve, and thnks,cool--noticeable shakiness in his voice.

Girl-how do I know your not a psychopath or something--she smile, then laughs-where you from Steve?

Steve-Halifax.

Girl-you got cooperating evidence?

Steve checks his pockets-no But I'm who I say I am.--pause as they look each other in each others searching eyes.

The girl starts down the street-you coming?

The girl and Steve walk down the street. Steve's plastic bag is starting to rip. The rain is getting in to his stuff Steve seems not to notices, the girl take a couple looks with out saying a word infact the look on the tall eastern European looking girl’s face is placid and Zen like,. Steve has a scruffy bread coming in. that makes him look even more bummish than usual. They walk talking about inane things of little intellectual mystical or revolutionary meaning.

Girl-my mother is away in New York. So it will be just us at the place.

Steve--good. I was not really looking forwards to meeting your mother. fuck! you live with your mother? how old are you?

The girl put her head back in a Catherine Heffburn laugh-I am sure my mother wouldn’t like you either, and I am in school at Concordia...

Steve interrupts-oh so your like 20 or so then. Not that that matters really..--Their talk make soulmist, which is almost like really mist but has the added quality of making time seem like it is going slower.

Walking along rene-levesqe. There is a church steeple in the distance. They finally come co her street which is right by a church and she opens a door to a town house.

Steve and her sit on the couch and smoke cigarettes. The girl finishes her pack and dramatically throws it on the ground, which is hardwood and dark.

Steve-this is a nice place.

girl-yes...--with a gasp.

Steve-shit you know what? I forgot to ask you name you know?

Girl-I did notice that.

Steve-I am Steve, your name?--Steve holds out his hand with a smile

gilr-sonia--sonia and Steve then kiss.

Sonia-maybe you’ like to spend the night up stairs in be with me.

Steve-sure

They both run up the stairs. Sonia opens the drapes to her window and rips off he jeans and shirt bra. Steve strips to his boxers. They lay on the bed and mal each other like they you trying to suck each others souls dry...


XXX


Morning time. The sun is coming in through the window fresh and all dirt washed away-- Steve and Sonia lay together in bed. When Steve opens his eyes he smiles. Gets up off the futon and starts looking around Sonia's room. There are paintings in charcoal done very well expect for the feet--all the feet look like knives. There is some modern art that Steve squints at non-comprehension. Sonia smiles as she stretches and looks and Steve’s bare ass as Steve conduting his inspecting the painting in her messy (CLOTHING MESS) room.

Sonia-the whole street can see you ass you know.--and smile admiringly.

Steve with a smile and turning; his cock a fling.-now they can see my cock.--Steve winks- Can I borrow some socks and take a shower you think?

Sonia-of course sexy. You can take a save too.

The sound of the shower is going when Sonia gets out of bed. She slips on her panties and closes the drapes; while doing this exposing to the street her small firm breast of olive completion. She takes out a note book and writes some thing down and rips the page out and slips it in the waist of her panties. Steve walks back in to the room with a saved face and a tight shirt that Sonia had give him. He looks much better. almost not like a bum aside from his shoes with have a huge hole, and flap when he walks.

Sonia-you have to model for me some time. Give me a call.--Sonia say this like a professional recruiting clientele.

Sonia hands him the piece of paper that she produced from her panties. Fade out on them doing that soul sucking sex-animalistic dance once more in the morn.

Scene

Day in the life


Steve sits in a park with a notebook and a bottle of beer. Writing. He stops and reads aloud

-Could it be true
And can it
Hobo and honey
Slumming a rummy


Steve looks out at the pond in front of him. There are people on benches with dogs talking about their dogs. There are 3 good looking girls that Steve has scoped out and periodically looks at. 3 minutes of this and cut at a sip of a beer.

Music pulse. In front of the music pulse on st. Catherine is a gathering of young drugged out kids with dogs and mow hawks. Steve walks up to the with a beer in his hand.

Steve-got laid last night.

1 punk-all that begging finally paid off eh?

Steve-yeah and she is high class too. A university student. Fucks like crazy.

2 punk (meaner looking)-you got that money Steve?

Steve-I told you DAX you’ll get you 20 bucks man. I have to just get panning. by noon I’m telling you.

DAX-better be Steve. You don’t want a curb smiley down at Rummies Park...

DAX stalks off with his pitbul .

1 punk-Steve man watch out for that guy he runs the downtown.

Steve-yeah he’s like the mayor--Steve's says with disgust.-deny what you say you go down to the out skirts like and see if we can squeegee up some dope money.

Cut to deny and Steve trying to squeegy an 18-wheeler and the driver handing them a 20. The a montage of people handing bills out the windows of there cars.

Cut to yellow walled apartment with a bed in the middle of the room. a playsaytion--grand theft auto--four or five guys and girls--dirty looking most with leather patches and boots--all but Steve who sits drinking in an arm chair in the same clothing Sonia gave him--they are getting dirty. but in comparison look clean.

Steve over the party like atmosphere-you got a phone?

deny-here’s a quarter man. You go to go out front.

Cut to pay phone a corner of a street--a busy street.
shot of quarter going into the slot. Steve it phones booth shot from up high.

Steve-hello is Sonia there?

Sonia-yeah where are you? A bar?

Steve-you want to come drink in a park with me?

Sonia-um... yeah! why not.

Steve-okay I’ll be by your house in a minute.

DIAL TONE.......

Scene

Interruption of day dreams? LIFE

Steve walks along René laveqe. blocks and blocks. Using the church steeple to guide him.

Steve's narration while walking to Sonia's

Those guys aren't like me. With their playstations and no dreams. No Sonia is an artist. A real artist. I want more than this boozing. I want to curl up in he nice sweet bed with her. Go out to the country. Read her poetry in the sun. We could be a creative twosome and lover’s. I bet her friends are just like her--but come on guy you just met her. It is not always smart to think things like this. That always gets me in trouble. I am content, and just when I least expect any thing could go well the normal way not that ‘some guy hands me a 50 ‘ way but the normal way--ah Sonia. Sweet Sonia.

Steve stops dead in his tracks. His heart rate is pounding, he almost drops his bottle of beer, DAX in his red plaid pants tucked into his steel toes. Standing right in front of him thumbing his suspenders, like Alex the droogy. A smirk on his face that lines touch his red side burn that creep out his cabby hat.

DAX-Steve you look in a good mood.

Steve is speechless for a moment then manages in his most non-shaky voice--which is quite shaky-DAX give me one more day. Not today man. I got this girl and shit.--Steve's brown eyes open wide like a child--innocent waters of innocent eyes make reflection in the sun.

DAX smiles and his dog barks and growls-Brutus don’t like that Steve. Maybe we can figure something out. Just hold on when I tie old Brutus up here.

Steve grips his beer tight, as DAX ties his dog up. Then DAX turns to Steve and walks up to him slow. Making quite the show of his dance like walk. A cocky walk, swing his shiny steel toed boot and landing them with a thud as he stops right at Steve--they are around the same size--they are nose to nose.

DAX-I should fucking beat you ass in to the hospital Steve, but oh yeah you are in love... but wait why do I care about that...

Steve-it’s 20 bucks man. Give me a day.

DAX-I'll tell you something about the street. Pay your debts or you get a beef, a beef is not something you want. I like you Steve...

DAX smacks Steve with a right in the nose. Steve takes it and keep looking at DAX in the eye.

Steve-another day then

DAX-another day--DAX walks off to untie his dog. Steve takes a swill of beer...


Scene



Sonia-your hurt.--Sonia says grabbing at Steve’s head; her maternal instincts full throttle.

Steve-yeah it’s this goof DAX; thinks he is some kind of street punk mob boss or something. I owe him 20 bucks, and he is acting like he wants to kill me for it.

Sonia-why you owe him money?--blandly.

Steve-I fronted some shrooms from him.

Sonia-were they good?

Steve-very

Sonia-well you should pay him.--Sonia goes in to her purse and hands him a 20.

Steve-sure I ll take your money. And about drinking in the park--you think you could buy a couple bottles I am a little tight. I’ll get you back.

They are sitting in Sonia's room dressing while this conversation is taking place.

Steve-you have a nice ass you know.

Sonia-thanks. Yeah what park do you want to go to?

Steve-this one up the street where I do all my drinking and thinking.


THREE MONTHS LATER



(Narration by an English gentlemen)

Fall in Montreal is one of the most wonderful times in the great city. old Montreal with it court yards and horses buggies with elegant boggy drivers--and all the reds and oranges, it is what makes Montreal such a romantic place.

Sonia and Steve are down in old Montreal picking up some beers at Steve’s insistence; he pays for them having secured a job as a sale rep at one of Montreal's many shady telemarketing outfits. He has also rented a little cozy room above the casa de ma casa--a darling Mexican food restaurant. He get free cable and watches the political debate between Kerry and bush with dunking disaporvingly on his bed most ever night.

Tonight is movie night and after buying the beers it is up to the room to watch “DEAD MAN” directed by JIM JARMUSCH. And that is where we find them in Steve small room.

Steve-hows school going Sonia?

Sonia-I am worried I am not getting enough done. My drawing is not up to par; people are doing so much better then I am. It ‘s frustrating..

Steve is over by his bed and fumbling around with papers. He find what he is looking for and goes over to Sonia who is fiddling with the vcr.

Steve-Sonia would our take a look at this story I printed off today. Maybe you could help me with it. Or know someone that would help me try and get it published or something?

Sonia takes the page of paper from Steve’s hand and reads it over. Steve watches with noticeable embarassement-aniety. Sonia laughs a couple times during her enthralled reading.

Steve-hey it is good?
Sonia-it’s okay. You should really go to school.

Steve smiles and opens a beer. Takes a long drink of it.

Steve-I do not thing school would understand my genius...

Sonia laughs a cathrine hephbur laugh. She goes back to fiddling with the TV.

Steve-what? I think it is great! I am going to be a famous writer some day.

Sonia-Steve look, I love you and you do write well, but you need to go to school or no one will even listen to you.

Steve-well that’s shit you just say that because you go to school. I don’t think your right.

Sonia-your so average Steve. you are really not that interesting.

Steve-thanks bitch.

Sonia-okay that was kind of bitchy oaf me, but please DO NOT call me a bitch we’ve had this conversation before. Let’s just watch the movie.

they turned out the lights and rapped themselves together on the bed. Time passes. Hours then out of the blue--

Steve-so you don’t think I am a genius.--Steve starts to rub his hands up and down Sonia's legs. And kissing her neck-I think you’re beautiful.

Sonia in a quiver of a voce-if I say no what you going to do to me?--suggestively.

Steve-regardless of what you say the end result will be the same.--that sat licking and caressing like there trying to merge in to one body. Licking and moaning.

Down stairs in the restaurant the peaceful dinners are look up at the ceilings. A creaking and banding noise has been going on for quite some time. It stops abruptly.

A shot from the street to the wind and the flicker of a dark slow moving movie.

Scene

cut to
a thunder storm crackles through the night DAX and Denny and Steve are in an over hang in some nameless street in Montreal. they have some beer and a small radio that is blearing out the misfits.

DAX-Steve I haven't seen you around for a while.

Steve-yeah I got this girl now. I think I love her man.

Denny and DAX laugh. Steve smiles sarcastlcly.

Steve I do and I do NOT care what any of you say.

Steve holds out his beer and sings along to the song and lean back and kicks out his feet. two girls walk around with beer. one has on tight black pants with anti-war patches on them. the other has a leopard's skin print miny skirt.

DAX-hey bambi who’s your friend?

the girl with the pants-my names sandy. mind if we drink with ya boyz. ya got a good drinking spot.

Steve-no here sit on my coat.--Steve removes his tweed over coat and lays it on the ground and bambi sits down on it. she sticks out her tong to roll the stud in her tong along her plump red lips.

bambi-what is a guy like you hanging out with a bunch of punkers?

Denny-this guy use to be the biggest drunk on the block. then he fell in love.

Steve shrugged at bambi.

bambi-isn’t that cute. to bad I didn't see you first. why are you not with her now?

Steve-she out of town at some film thing in Toronto.

bambi-cool. well you mind if I get a bit closer to you its cold out here.

Steve be my guest.

zoom out as the music screams out with them all sing “on last caress”

SCENE

INFIDELITY

The platue in the winter. a little bagel shop that is open all night--75 cent bagels it reads out steps Steve with a bag. And trudge with his head down a cple doors down and ducks his head in to a door. Inside is Sonia chopping vegetables and a man with glasses black hair wearing conservative type clothing. Sonia looks very bored and her face show extreme relief to see Steve with bagels form the store.

Steve-hello Jason. What bring you to our humble abode?

Jason-what? Sonia you live with him? That is no good for a relationship.

Sonia-what do you know about relation ships Jason.

Steve-more than me probably.

They all laughed and Steve sat down at the table.

Steve-how’s you guy’s movie coming along?

Jason looks at sonia and say-I thinks we have some good stuff. Real original. Sonia, Steve you are lucky to have her.

Steve-I knows. How long have you too been working on it now?

Sonia Steve you know you have nothing to do with it. Just back out.

Steve-okay. Yeah yaws I just have stupid ideas. I am going to the deep and one wants any thing?

Sonia I hope you not getting beer.

Steve-that was the plan.

Sonia looks at Jason as Steve levees. Once Steve is gone she say-Jason I don’t know what to do. He is drinking too much, it is begging to be a big fucking annoying problem.

Jason-drop him. Allot of us wonder why you stay with him so long.

Sonia-you doesn’t understand he is like a child I have to take care of hi,. He trys. He writes.

Jason-a writer. Okay well maybe things will pan out in 10 or 12 years.

Sonia-it won’t last that long for sure.

And back comes Steve with two large bottles of beer he opens one and takes a large swill looking at Jason intimidating.

Sonia-it’s ready.

And she brings to the table some Indian food.

Steve-you vegetarian Jason?

Jason-yeah.

Steve-you loves this then.

Sonia gives Steve a glare.

Later all the dishes empty and Jason gone Steve sits at the computer staring at a blank screen.

Steve-you really thinks I will not go anywhere if I don’t go to school?

Sonia-what were you doing tonight? You acted completely rude to my friend. You drunk. I do not think he appreciated you sing DRADLE DRADLE DRALE when you asked if the food was kosher.

Steve I did not appreciate him asking you if you need any money me sitting there, like I was a fucking loser dope. What he give you any way?

Sonia-20 bucks. Look Steve you got to get you acts together. You got to stop drinking!--screaming in a shrill voices.

Steve went to the bookshelf and took out a copy of \NOTES FROMTHE UNDERGROUND and shoved some bills in his pocket with out Sonia seeing.
Steve-I is going for a walk.

Sonia-don’t be to long. I do love you. You know that.

Cut to Steve and a girl in a tight pink dress on with large breast.
Steve-here is good cabby

Steve and the under dressed for winter blond got out and Steve paid the man. The went it to a hotel that was right across the street.

Cut to inside the hotel room.

Steve-bambi you suck a good cook.

Steve was lying on the bed naked and bambi was doing a line of cocaine.

bambi-you got a nice dick babe. you want the main show now.

Bambi walked up to Steve swing her hips and zipped down the back of here dress. twi perfect ges stepped out. Then off with her to and UN did her bra and two large form tits with erect nipples.

Steve-I is ready.

SEX

Scene

it is morning Steve walks through Montreal platue. his fly is down. he walk by the bagel shop. Sonia is waiting for him.

Sonia-where the fuck were you?

Steve-i ran into some people.

Sonia-i know you took the money. that money was for food you ass!

Steve I erend it. I worked for it. some of us arn’t little rich kids like you and your friends. i do not have to answer to you. why did you not get you little lover jason to buy you some food.

sonia-i hate jason. the thought of being with him is repulsive. he’s a geek. but at least he knows how to keep money. so what did you do? go to a bar an after hours club?

steve-yeah you got me. I am sorry just it is tuff. i get so frustrated not being able to get the ball rolling I need to tblow off some steam.

sonia-boo hoo steve you could of done a lot. remeber i offered to help you to makje an portfolio and aplication a month ago but you were too “tierd” which means hung over. you drink too much. you should not drink at all. and fuck--sonia breaks down and starts crying-i just kept thinking that you were out with some older girl. that you were cheating.

steve-no. I would not do thatm toyou babe.

sonia starts to wipe her red eyes. steve zips his fly and breaths out a shy of roielfe.

steve-i can’t belive you’d think that. you the one always out with this jason guy. I would nver do that to you.

sonia-I am glad to hear that come here babe give me a hug. lets go to bed.

steve goes over to sonai and they embrass. steve starts to cry and nestles his head in her shoulder.

steve-i love you sonia. I mean it.





Spring
(Narration by Steve sitting at a bar)

So I had to move out of that place on the plato--it was Sonia’s friends place and she came back. Had to stay a bit in a homeless shelter.. The Sonia found me a place down town. Work is good getting a lot of money but Sonia and I keep breaking up and getting back together. She says she’s going away to Spain at the end of the month. She broke up with me last night but I convinced her to come by my place tonight. Women eh? I don’t know what I do if I lost her..

Steve in an apartment. Green walls and a couch that looks like it has been through a couple world wars or something. Beer bottles are scattered around on the floor. Papers are scattered around. A large sound system. A small TV. A knock comes on the door. Steve answers it.

Sonia-hey Steve I am sorry I have been ignoring you.

Steve I understand you have school. I just want to spend some time before you go.

Sonia smiles and there are tears in her eyes. She says-why do you have to be so damn cute. I brought a movie with me. Let’s watch it and I can spend the night.

They put the movie on and sat there not say a word.

In the morning Sonia waked Steve up.

Steve-hey would you go to star bucks and get me a coffee babe?

Sonia-no I have school.

Steve-please babe.

Sonia-no

syeve get up and sits in the doorway.

Sonia-look Steve I got to go come on.

Steve-why do you have to be so cold? I love you.

sona laughs and said-you know I am leaving in a week, don’t you get I do not love you any more.

tears stream down steves face. he shout--come on just a coffee.

sonia-out of the way.

steve-coffee!

sonia run to the open window and starts to cliamb out. steve runsn and grabs her and says-come sonia p;lease love me.

sonia -bye and she walks out the door.

steve punches the door and it brakes off the hinges.

sonia and a girl friend of hers at a coffee shop.

sonia’s girl friend-so your leting hm stay with you,

sonia-it is for 3 days untill i leave for spain. then he is out of my life for ever.

sonia’s friend-why do you care about him?

sonia-he is a good guy he just has ti get his shit together. he is good in bed. it is a couple days.

THE PARTY

Somia’s mothers apartment. there are 20 or so people all talking, one conversation between a larger gentelman and a very atractive women are in focus with steve off to the die of them listening.

party goer one-the idea for the thing is that we ave this lighter and it changes hands between a bunch of other people. it is like a cosmic lighter. the movie is the life of a lighter.

the femle sexy party goer-oh how origonal. that is an amazing idea. can I have something to do with the project.

steve puts his head down and the girl who was s[eaking about the movie smiles. -steve did you want to be part of the project.

steve-well where does the story start in some majical dep in china town or something? maybe there could be some ancient chinese curse behind it.--syeve said with a shy voice.

hot girl-that’s just like you to make a perfectly orgional idea stupid and boreing.--hot girl turns to the larger man who’s idea has been corupted by juvinile ideas-jon your idea is amazing, again, do let me help you with it. steve here is a writer. or so he say he is.

jon-it is not that bad of an idea steve.

steve-let me help rite it. I am a writer--steve says with a side glance to the hot girl that says “you bitch”...

a short asian looking man comes stumbleing in to the room that they are in. glances of disaporval are given between the women. the asian looking man sits next to steve. the man has a 40 bottle. adressing steve

aian man-hey asshole.

steve-hi Miho, how you ding buddy.

miho-oh steve if you must know I am on mdma.

steve-oh whats that?

MIHO-it’s only the best drug in the world. a buetiful drug, makes you so happy!

sonia comes in to the room with a plater of vegitrain apatizers which steve is the first to grab at to sonias hateful glar.

sonia-miho i wish you would not do all those drugs. ot os npot going to bring her back.

Miho puts his head down. steve puts his arm on his back.

steve-miho I know what it’s like. I’ll be in the same boat tommorow. won’t I sonia?

sonia-lets not talk about that.

miho like a man in the last trows of life-you deserve what you get steve. your such an asshole .

steve-thanks miho.

cut to later that night. the party has livened up. steves sits with a botle of gin out on the back proch with a couple of people are him reading

steve-a little bit of something, is nothing, nothing is a word, the universe is dieing, and people lieing, and gas, and bombs, and all I am is nothing, and something comes to me, that it’s better to forget, ignore, hide, run then face the shit, becuase when the next big thing hits I would rather take a shit, then watch it on cnn, it is a cosmic joke, it is nothing, life love and everything.....

miho-i like it.

hot girl-really uplifting poem steve.


cut to sonia and packing and steve waking up hang over.

steve-was I bad last night?

sonia-yeah.

steve-it is our last day together.

steve walk ove to sonia and kissed her. she sat him down on a char and unbotoned his pants, and sat down on his croch and they went at it for a goot hors moaning and sweeting. then a knock came on the door.

somia-it’s my dad, he is driving me to the air port you got to go.

sonai led him to the back door. they kissed the last time on the orch of sonia’s mother’s home and the Steve walk thorough the court yard to the back gate. he look back and she was already gone.

scene




steve in a park at night in bad clothing a forty bottle in his had nd a sleeping bag spread out drinking and writing.(NARATION)

the idea is to ease my self to sleep witha reminsent though of when i was lving down at cas demata.sonai came over and brought her VCR. we watched that movei “dead man” that slow sad movie. sonia was still in love with me then and acting the way I loved. curoing up to me kissing me. we talked about thing I thought were funny about the presidental debates I’d been waching.i showed her some of my writing--she told me I should realy go to univrsity. then she gave me a blow job while i chugged a beer. we had sex for hours changing poistionsthen i put it down and started doing laps with my finger round the clit. she grabed the base of my cock and astoishingly remarker how big and hard it was. the sounds of her wet pussy lapping. the soft bed. wich the sheets were chane on by my maid daily.. the veiw of the old montreal’s coble stone steets below--the huff sounds.i wish she would of said my writing was amazing. we did it dog style which was good but for some reason just did not say “i love you” we did all the old standers--we had a good seasion. are sweaty fit bodies glisning from the dim street lamps out side.

in the morning after a good restful sleepwe walked along the street arm in arm. the colors of atum all aroundit was a leasant vibe. cool air that maade you know that winter was comeing but that was okay because you had some one--and hell it was old montreal, the most romantic place in the world. at breakfast we sat across for each over in big red boths and after we ate she looke dof and sid “i love you” but she didn’t have to say it because I knew she did then. I also knew that i did not deserve it. I knew from the begining it was a doomed relationship and just kept going . I wasn’t gonna stop it.
It was the best time of my life...

Steve puts down the pen and note book and look out in the dim lamp light as if contemplating something. pulls his sleeping back up around his shoulder and pick the pen up once more.

fate is a funny thing. the way things happen. now i just need peace and I’ll be okay. and know that peace is not something you lose--that peace can be called on from any time place--even if there gone, and hate your guts.
fin

fin

[joel]

He looks much better. almost not like a bum aside from his shoes with have a huge hole, and flap when he walks.

Steve-I do not thing school would understand my genius...

Sonia laughs a cathrine hephbur laugh. She goes back to fiddling with the TV.

Steve-what? I think it is great! I am going to be a famous writer some day.

Sonia-Steve look, I love you and you do write well, but you need to go to school or no one will even listen to you.

I hope Steve takes care of himself.

Geoff--you rock. I've been reading this over a couple times. I envy your talent. I don't know who's qualified to label genius, but I keep my eye out for your writing. Thanks.

-Joel

[Axanderdeath]

thanks for reading. in that little exert there where a couple of typos--I am really tryinh to cut those out of my writing... As far as me being a greart writer-no I am not, and I do not think I am. you always write very encouraging stuff, so thanks you. I would comment more on your stuff but most of it stands by it's self and need no praize by simpletins like myself, or I am embarassed that I do not get them--I think all the people on this site are talented as hell and I suprised that no one (that I know of) has broken into the best selling book world. Lately I have been coming to terms witht hte fact that that is not the reason I write, and that fame and money is the most foolish and niev reason to write. But to share a feeling or thought that can be felt by thousands and celibrated by the masses as a defineing statement of a certain time or feeling would be very rewarding and we all have a chance to do it, everyday and every moment; waiting for the rest of them to catch up could take a while

thanks joel

geoff