The Poet's Eye – 04/22/2004

		The Poet's Eye commentary by Lightning Rod the Poets' Eye is skeptical without being cynical, innocent without being naive and critical without being judgemental

	American Idol 04-22-04 Iraq and the US have a similar problem to deal with--elections. In ten weeks The Imperial Bushcoalition will try to impose free and fair elections in Iraq at the point of a gun. This is a three thousand year old society that has yet to be tainted by democracy and the wizards in our government imagine that they can declare freedom and tranquility just by erecting an embassy in Baghdad. We should lead by example and show the Iraqi people how a real democratic election is run. One of the most pressing problems in this nation is the corruption and expense of our electoral system. The Poet's Eye has long looked for campaign finance reform. When a sitting President feels the need to spend a quarter of a billion dollars to keep his job, something is terribly wrong. Contributors don't pony up 200 million bucks as a gesture of confidence in our electoral system. They want something in return. This places the highest officeholders in the land in the same category as lobbyists, working for the interests of a few. They are purchased for the use of their offices and influence. The Poet's Eye sees a new solution to this costly and unjust system. Let's call it the American Idol Election Reform. In the eight weeks running up to an election, the main eight candidates would perform on a television show. The first week, the contest would be for general likability. The second week the competition would be for hairstyle and foreign policy. The third week it would be for soundbytes and evasion of important questions in news conferences. The next week they would demonstrate their ability to tapdance around the issues. You get the idea, a talent contest, a beauty pageant, Reality TV. Each week one candidate would be voted off by means of telephone and internet polls. This would be at least as reliable as voting machines or ballots with 'chads', whatever they are. The Fox Network is giving us a model for electoral reform as it applies to the electronic age. This week nearly thirty-million people voted for their favorite rendition of Barry Manilow tunes on American Idol. In the last Presidential election, there were slightly over a hundred million votes cast. Included in this number were 50,456,002 votes for Bush and 50,999,897 for Gore. Wait! This sounds like election theft, but that's the subject of another column. Each week a panel of columnists, commentators and comedians will hurl praise or insults at the candidates before the voting commences. Not only would this be good politics, it would be great entertainment, which as we all know is the purpose of politics. I see George Stephanopolous in a Speedo, on the bar of a dunking booth, taunting the candidates with questions while they throw nerf balls at the target. The Idol concept can hardly be considered a more significant variation on what our founding fathers envisioned as an American election than what passes for one today. Where the framers envisioned a dignified competition between statesmen, we see pop stars and race car drivers and wrestlers bankrolled by special interests. With American Idol Campaign Reform, a plumber or a social worker or a street person would have as good a chance at high office as a rich boy or a corporate pawn, a Moslem Cleric or a famous actor. The Poet's Eye sees this as a democratic improvement. Instead of the ridiculous primary system we have now, where a few rural and unrepresentative states can tip the balance, there would be open auditions in major cities and the best candidates would be picked from the cattle call. Sure, Halliburton and Exxon would sponsor candidates and those would have more sophisticated stage direction, costumes and choreography, but they would still have to go head to head with school teachers and construction workers, techies and trailer trash. The panel of judges would include such people as Jerry Springer and William F. Buckley, Howard Stern, Brittany Spears, Whoopie Goldburg, Donald Trump and Tonya Harding. Then on the final week, ah the final week, we shift into the Fear Factor mode and really test the metal of the candidates. We make them eat bugs and look like they are enjoying it. We keep them awake for sixty hours straight and make them play beat the clock on steroids. Then they have to look cool and collected and maintain their hairdos under the prop wash of a helicopter departing for Camp David. These are the real Presidential tests. The Poet's Eye sees that our electoral system is show biz, reality TV. Campaign reform in this country is about as likely as democracy breaking out in Iraq ten weeks from now. Bread and Circuses Bread and Circuses Then just Circuses Forget the Bread, Just Circuses. • to comment on ths article email Lightning Rod here
Lightning Rod World Headqarters Freedom Hall-- Freeform Discussions doreenperi.com- – Poetry, art, music Poet's Eye Home
Social Comedary by doreen peri