officially insulted

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Doreen Peri
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officially insulted

Post by Doreen Peri » November 9th, 2004, 9:57 am

I'm officially insulted so I'm taking it to the trailerpark.

Let's hang out and talk about it.

I need to talk to someone.

Getting insulted hurts.

Tell me about when someone insulted you and hurt you with the insults and let me know how you handled it, ok?

Then, let's all go get drunk.

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Scootertrash
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Post by Scootertrash » November 9th, 2004, 1:55 pm

I need to talk to someone.
C'mon, tell ol Uncle Scooty alllllllllllll about it

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Zlatko Waterman
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Post by Zlatko Waterman » November 9th, 2004, 3:26 pm

How did I handle it, my dear Diva (?):


Vengeance, if possible. Haul out the fiery sword?

A Virgo friend insists that the sword never show, and he's more temperate than I am. A Cancer like me lunges with his big claws when his rock is overturned.

I'm sorry to hear you were insulted.

A guy I worked for at various schools and even team-taught with once said to me:

"I don't know what you are, but I sure wouldn't call you an artist."

I was so impetuous at that point that I ended our relationship. The guy was a Republican and referred to "the permissiveness of the 60's" as the source of all social problems, but other than owning a cephalic anus ( head up ass) and a fecal cerebrum ( shit for brains), he was a decent Joe. He had an affair on his wife with the college nurse, down among the elastic bandages, syringes and plasters, I suppose.

All I can say as a distant rejoinder is that you are one of the most creative ladies I have ever met. And your taste and virtuosity with design and with English words make me smile.

(here it comes, folks, the first -- and last-- time Zlatko uses a "smilie")


:D
--Z

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » November 9th, 2004, 5:46 pm

OK, Uncle Scootie... here goes...

This is what I was told today about my online presence
Your conversational style has consistently brought the quality level of our discussion boards down. I find your basic approach to be needy, neurotic and attention-hungry. You are pushy, bossy, demanding, and needy.
Whaddya think? Is that insulting or what? Should I laugh it off?
Last edited by Doreen Peri on November 10th, 2004, 8:49 am, edited 3 times in total.

hester_prynne

Post by hester_prynne » November 9th, 2004, 7:56 pm

nothing like a little Rumi to soothe an insult......
(they sounds nuts to me....)
hope you like Rumi, I sure do.....

STAY CLOSE, MY HEART
(Rumi)

Stay close, my heart, to the one who knows your ways;
Come into the shade of the tree that always has fresh flowers.
Don't stroll idly through the bazaar of the perfume-markers:
Stay in the shop of the sugar-seller.
If you don't find true balance, anyone can deceive you;
Anyone can trick you out of a thing of straw,
And make you take it for gold
Don't squat with a bowl before every boiling pot;
In each pot on the fire you find very different things.
Not all sugarcanes have sugar, not all abysses a peak;
Not all eyes possess vision, not every sea is full of pearls.
O nightingale, with your voice of dark honey! Go on lamenting!
Only your drunken ecstasy can pierce the rock's hard heart!
Surrender yourself, and if you cannot be welcomed by the Friend,
Know that you are rebelling inwardly like a thread
That doesn't want to go through the needle's eye!
The awakened heart is a lamp; protect it by the hem of your robe!
Hurry and get out of this wind, for the weather is bad.
And when you've left this storm, you will come to a fountain;
You'll find a Friend there who will always nourish your soul.
And with your soul always green, you'll grow into a tall tree
Flowering always with sweet light-fruit, whose growth is interior.

(translated by Andrew Harvey)

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abcrystcats
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Post by abcrystcats » November 9th, 2004, 7:59 pm

It's hard to take a quote like that totally out of context and try to figure it out.

One thing I'll tell you right now: It sounds like a male voice. Is it? It sounds like a real misogynistic comment from someone who feels threatened by you for some reason and is trying to put you in your place by identifying any feminine weaknesses he may or may not be able to discover in your communication style.

CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Whenever I'm insulted, that's the first thing I do -- ask myself WHO is doing the insulting. Nine times out of ten (or maybe 99 times out of a 100) it's nobody whose respect I particularly crave.

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » November 9th, 2004, 8:09 pm

thanks, hest

Lovely poem.

You've known me for 4 years, probably, online. You've never met me in person. I thank you for saying it sounds nuts to you.

It sounded nuts to me, too.

Oh, and also, I was told I post way too much. Nobody wants to hear from me that much, especially because of the personal stories which I relay which nobody's interested in.... a style which nobody else shares. Nobody but me relays personal stories on the internet and my conversationist style demeans the quality of an internet bulletin board. Great thing to know, huh?

I have to tell you that I was really floored to hear I bored people to death and that my writing style was so poor. I had no idea. I truly thought those who have engaged in conversation with me during the last 4 years, actually enjoyed talking to me. Learn something new every day. I also thought that I had worked on my writing enough to be articulate so that the quality of my input ADDED, not subtracted, from people's experiences online. What a dummy I was.

Y'know what? People who preach unity and acceptance and world peace need to be acceptant and unified and peaceful with each other. Name calling has no place in my life.

I'm baffled and hurt. Must be because I'm neurotic and needy that I'm posting this topic to begin with, huh?

Geesh

I hate disrespect.

Thank you again for the Rumi poem. I will read it several times. Hopefully it will help with the attempt to dismiss these cruel remarks and go on being happily, proudly, mySELF without accepting ridicule.

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WIREMAN
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Post by WIREMAN » November 9th, 2004, 8:13 pm

Wow!....Doreen.....I have this response.....you are one fo the most awesome and genuinely kindest people I know....and I do know you....this is someone saying things that thinks they know you, but does not know you.....pure and simple....bordering on absurd and if not totally out of touch with who they are talking about......please my friend pay no attention to something like this, we all know this is downright goofy at best.....keep being that Doreen we all love and those who don't like it, that's their problem, and their loss for not knowing you as the writer artist and performer that I know and love....wow!!!!!!! I'm getting worked up......your forever friend....... mark

hester_prynne

Post by hester_prynne » November 9th, 2004, 8:35 pm

Doreen, you are so very alive and vibrant.
I really hate it that these things were said to you.
It's like someone trampling a beautiful rose.
It's ignorant.
It angers me, HOW DARE THEY say something like that to you.
If you decide to let us in on the creep that said these things to you, you can be sure they will hear from me.
And don't take this to heart dearie, don't let it even touch your wonderful self....it's way way beneath you. Know that.
Fuckers.
Let me at em.....insensitive, vain bullies they are.
Christ.
Sheesh!
smoochies
H 8)

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judih
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Post by judih » November 9th, 2004, 11:36 pm

i'm not sure who wrote that comment to you, but the writing style is grammatically poor and repetitive. Who's judging whom?

Another question is, from where did this comment stem? Was it a personal affront to something you said, or was it general appraisal of your entire being?

Who is the name-caller?

i tend to think we're talking a Woody Allen situation - Who'd wanna be a member of a club that'd accept someone like me.

Personally, i think it's bad enough we've got major Bushisms in governments. Time to hang out in a more comfortable crowd. Say goodbye to narrow minded egocentrics.

judih

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » November 10th, 2004, 12:34 am

judih- maybe someone should take it upon themselves to edit the content to make it grammatically correct prior to publishing? *sigh* nah... name-calling never did anybody any good. I won't go there. No names will be called. I feel it was a general appraisal of my entire being. I can only be me. Thank you for your comments. Truly appreciated.

hester - i hate it too and i hate to say how I reacted.... I said, "FUCK YOU!" That's how I reacted. Well, oh well. I was hurt. Whoever it was has a lot of nerve or else that's just the way they perceive me or both. Whatever. Not everybody can like everybody. There are 6 billion people on this planet. The potential for a mismatch in business, pleasure, and art, is great. It is way beneath me to get so upset but I did. I need to get over it. Such personal judgements should not be tolerated. I don't expect them and I don't accept them. Then, why did I let it get to me? Well, when you invest yourSELF into something and get told what you are doesn't meet the criteria, you'd be upset, too.... thank you so much for your kind words, hest...

WIREMAN - i love you, too... thank you... I don't know what to say... all i CAN be is me... and whatever... I've been rambling and expressing my personal feelings about life and maybe this has no place here because it demeans the *quality* of the boards but what the hell, this is the trailerpark and I am IN IT... this is my life and i am LIVING it and guess what? I"m a WRITER and so I will write it down...... geez..... thank you, my friend

Cat- I'm trying to consider the source. That's the problem. My problem is visible. I state it bluntly. I crave respect from every individual no matter how rude they are to me. And I can't claim not to have replied in a rude manner myself... FUCK YOU was the only reply I could find in my fingers...

oh well...

Please remember... I'm just me and that's the best I can be and if anybody has a problem with it, talk to my agent.

I'd give you his number if I had one.

Otherwise, here's my take on it... If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all and I am guilty of being defensive and hanging out in the trailerpark in search of drugs to make me feel better and hard liquor in a brown paper bag....

My bad.

Kick me. I'm a needy attention-hungry slut with a basic approach of consistent confusion.

I was hurt. Sue me. And I'm typing straight into the box while drinking a martini.

Cheers, one and all.

I truly DO love you and I have LOVED every moment of our interaction throughout the years.
"Dem bones, dem bones,
gwine . . . walk aroun . . ."

What would Red Garland say? He'd probably just laugh and take another snort.
quote by Zlatko Waterman
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=924

If someone thinks you are scrubbing the floor with the wrong cleanser or wearing mismatched apparel with bad costume jewelry or laughing at the wrong intermission during a movie or dancing when you should have been sleeping or crying when you should have been explaining or eating when you should have been drinking or calculating damages when you should have been creating or creating when you should have been minding your own business or being honest when you should have been putting on a pretense, well hell, guess what? I can't follow it.

Now, can we all get drunk?

hester_prynne

Post by hester_prynne » November 10th, 2004, 1:28 am

Damn right Doreen, I'd be rattled too and I hope I didn't sound insensitive, or like I was telling you to stuff your feelings.
I would never want to give anyone, especially you, that message.
I think it's good you reacted and protested, I think we need to do alot more of that in the days to come, when we are wrongly insulted, or mistreated in any way. Complacency scares me alot and passive resistance usually never really cuts it.
I'm proud of you for not shrinking, I'm damn glad you told them fuck you....
But.
I know it still gets to you. It would to me too.
That's the bummer. My hand is out to you in comfort on that part.
Just remember, that it never gets the best of us, heh, it couldn't possibly....cuz, when all is said and done, they can't come close to hurting the pure and simple wonderfulness of your being.
It would be impossible for them.
I really believe that.
H

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mnaz
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Post by mnaz » November 10th, 2004, 2:09 am

Doreen...

What a dubious assessment of your writing..... not only needlessly combative and hurtful, but I would say inaccurate as well. On the main A.C. board, for instance, you made quite a few salient contributions last month on various threads about the Iraq war and other issues pertinent to the election, complete with informative links. Your style is conversational, and even personal at times, but really, what's wrong with that? I always enjoy your insights. I'm not sure where this person was coming from.... probably no place I'd want to be.

You know, I'm familiar with being insulted online.....I can now call myself somewhat of a "veteran" of online forums, especially political ones. I've been labeled all sorts of things for my steadfast anti-war stance. It can and does cut deeply at times, but ultimately, I have to try and let those words "bounce off me". Words on a screen, sent to me by people I've never met can only be allowed to carry so much weight....

Well, anyway..... that's my honest two cents worth....

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Scootertrash
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Post by Scootertrash » November 10th, 2004, 3:13 am

Where are "they" LETS GO GET'EM!

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