Happy Anti-versary
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
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Happy Anti-versary
Happy Anti-versary
It's been a year today
since we were together
I wish I could say I didn't miss you
that my heart is light as a feather
in the mansion of my soul
your room sits empty but ready
it waits for you and the bed
is turned down like the tip of your nose
I go there to take my repose
to ponder what we lost and what we chose
in the vase a single yellow rose
I keep it fresh for you
It's been a year today
since we were together
I wish I could say I didn't miss you
that my heart is light as a feather
in the mansion of my soul
your room sits empty but ready
it waits for you and the bed
is turned down like the tip of your nose
I go there to take my repose
to ponder what we lost and what we chose
in the vase a single yellow rose
I keep it fresh for you
- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14601
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
- silent woman
- Posts: 337
- Joined: August 19th, 2008, 4:49 am
- Location: Oz or someplace like Kansas
Happy anti-v day
compadre
That is one fire I would love to pour gasoline on for you if I could
A Lovely
lovely
poem
compadre
That is one fire I would love to pour gasoline on for you if I could
A Lovely
lovely
poem
If you can't give me love and peace, Then give me bitter fame. — Akhmatova.
Free Rice
avatar courtesy of Baron de Hirsch
Free Rice
avatar courtesy of Baron de Hirsch
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
- Contact:
yeah i thought this was one of your best pieces....
consious (hardest word ever to spell) and it flowed.
visual and personal...you ever find that people who write about actual events or you know more personal poery seem to be so caught in telling a story that they forget to evoke visuals?
I try really hard not to do that, and I liked this poem because it had a visual space, i mean with the room and such. I could see it, vs. you just saying "this is how i feel" blah blah blah.
cool.
consious (hardest word ever to spell) and it flowed.
visual and personal...you ever find that people who write about actual events or you know more personal poery seem to be so caught in telling a story that they forget to evoke visuals?
I try really hard not to do that, and I liked this poem because it had a visual space, i mean with the room and such. I could see it, vs. you just saying "this is how i feel" blah blah blah.
cool.
Blah!
- Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
- Contact:
thank you bennie
I don't get 'beautiful' much
mostly clever, funny, wicked, insightful etc
intellectual stuff
sometimes I neglect the heartfelt portion
alyson,
you saw the essence of the poem
and also demonstrated an understanding of the first rule of effective writing:
"don't tell them how you feel (yada yada) but make them feel it or see it or smell it."
I don't get 'beautiful' much
mostly clever, funny, wicked, insightful etc
intellectual stuff
sometimes I neglect the heartfelt portion
alyson,
you saw the essence of the poem
and also demonstrated an understanding of the first rule of effective writing:
"don't tell them how you feel (yada yada) but make them feel it or see it or smell it."
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