A Shoveless Thing (Rough Draft)

[K&D]

Pull me In, pull me in
I wiggle and you just breathe
Let me, let me please

It’s a zing, just a zing
it won’t leave a sting
a markless thing.

Under the iron bridge
against brick.
I pushed a shovless thing

I wanted without knowing,
But you knew
what you were doing.

.................................................................

love,
Aly

[Lightning Rod]

nice KiDdo

very simple and direct and active
cinematic even

(nice that you didn't go for the shoveless/loveless rhyme, but it was implied)

[K&D]

yeah i thought after writting it the loveless thing would be implied and that was cool...i def was like "avoid loveless rhyme"

my next poem *Straightens up for cockey delivery* will be entitled "shameless" about how great it is to be old and shameless.

I felt the stings of embarasment and shame when reading Dorss response and i figured as i went to bed that you would just keep on going not a blink, and i wake up this morning and of course thats the case.

they say kids are shameless, but actaully thats the worst misnomer ever! kids are the most likely to feel shame, regret, embarrasment time hasn't made us stronger/independent yet....

as i type i sit here and wonder "i hope dor isn't going to read this and be mad" see....

thanx for the comments.

[SmileGRL]

cool poem, KD. i specially like this verse...

Pull me In, pull me in
I wiggle and you just breathe
Let me, let me please

[goldenmyst]

K&D welcome my fellow Baton Rougean to the Studio. I too loved those lines SmileGRL pointed out. Your poetry is splendid. I look forward to the Shameless poem.

John