poem draft "who?"

[K&D]

when i want to unwind I imagine our feet intwined
"this betta not be some kind of booty call"
"you say that like your not coming over.
I predict the sounds of doors opening"

I called all of you tonight
or at least the numbers i kept
the best of you are living your own lives
found religion or are like me reveling
in your own not knowing.

And isn't it fun and isn't it alright.
except when your lonely tonight.

[mindbum]

if not for not knowing what would we ever know?
all i know is: i do not know.

[aside: 'not knowing' is a book of essays & interviews by donald barthelme. highly recommend.]

could use a little more consistency of punct. to give a better sense of rhythm & meaning.

good start. good end [though it makes me think of roy orbison.]

i feel like i want one more middle stanza. or something.

thanks. i enjoyed.

[K&D]

I'll check it out.

thanks for the advise..i'm a big reviser. I just worte this one though, if anything my problem tends to be that I edit before i actually get anything down...

it does need a little something,

thanks.

[SmileGRL]

KD...i dig the idea behind this poem...i imagine the conversation...the longing...the sigh (oh, life!), but specially getting the sticky issue of sometimes we just don't know & it sucks, but it's alright. you touched me with this one, girl