pot is not

[silent woman]

That was weird post even for me.

I don't where all that sexual karma comes from.

Seems like only yesterday I was a clueless child.


sincerely
still trucking et al

[stilltrucking]

I am happy you found that ease.

I'm pretty well walking in tall cotton these days.




looking like spring
I got check my high tree
see if it made through another winter.

[jimboloco]

oh your last post seemed a nod towards a dismal state of melancholy
and me in my satori
well i suppose ii won't stay forever in nirvana
and in fact won't attain absolute supreme samhadi
until all sentient biengs have done so
so down i come from the mountaintop
to confess in my supreme enlightenment
i have merely benefi9tted from a neurotraNSMITTER COCKTAIL
EFFEXOR SL
a
miracle
milagro

amen

a game changer


so now that i have celebrated my new breakthru
my new state of unimpaired. indeed, performance enhancing reverie,
i will be once again here to co-miserate with you and all other bretheren
who smoke the holy cannibus sattiva
well there's a healthy detachment
but that for me is a detachment from the fearful imagery that had been erupting from my out if control brain
and so now i can do it
forgetaboutit

hoping for your ease of mind
you and the bearded lady

that tree is a wailing tree, man

wailing tree
plains hardy
resilience and calm

why don't you get a nice therapeutic massage
from a nice dame, man
it's like being coddled in the eternal mother's arms
from head to toe

[stilltrucking]

I don't want no truck with ssri's jimbo

It works great for most people. Millions of people take effexor with nothing but good results

But it is not for me.

I got enough issues with rage

It has taken me years to get a grip on that beast in me.

I had a bad experience with it. I got a cut tendon in my right hand because of it.

I won't go there again.



I am happy for you that it helps.

I am pleased that you will not be dealing with the legal complexities of tea anymore.

I am sure Suzy Q is happy about that too.

I did not mean to harsh your mello

carry on bro


A spooky old tree
sometimes I can see faces in the trunk.


It is my totem
that tree
lightning struck and twisted
rotted at the core
and still
it clings to life
As do I.

[stilltrucking]

I do not choose to be a wicked messenger
"nothing travels faster than the speed of light except for bad news which obeys its own special laws." DNA in his novel Mostly Harmless

I am sure you are familiar with the known side effects. If you decide to stop taking it I don't reccomend cold turkey. When I told told homeboy that I was on Effexor he said "be careful". But by then it was too late. I had already stabbed that green pepper and my hand slipped off the handle of the knife and cut the tendon in my finger.

I am familiar with how the rage builds within me and I have learned to detatch myself from it witness it.
but this came on so suddenly I was already bleeding before I knew what happened.

live long and prosper mi amigo
you are a better man than me.
Preacher on tv says god forgives me for my sins. I can forget about all the people I have hurt with my rage. But I prefer to remember.


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[mousey1]

Hey you guys...STEP AWAY FROM THE WEED!

Better to get high on life and admire the pretty pink lungs that sprout in gratitude. Clean air is where it's at.

But mellow is a charming fellow and so
smoke 'em if ya got 'em and if it helps to get you there...
probably better to bake it in a brownie though.

Never slap the messenger...merely dissect their words!

[jimboloco]

Hey, I am smoking pot, forgetaboutit
the Effexor (which is a combo ssri and norepinephrine cocktail) is what the holy ghost made for me and i feel so good that i am smoking pot without guilt or apologies niow
i needed to get off the fence
and at last made it out of the OK corral and into the open range!!!
but alas have cut way back on my drinking

i need the stimulant because i have to work energetically long hours
now i have the confidence that i can

it is my renaissance medicine effexor

i can live without pot
but i will take effexor unril i die
or later than that, dependiong on my whereabouts

i may become a zxombie grrrr

rage?
no way

pot is
not not is not

mousey you can slap me baby

the tarbaby tree lives on
and british columbia makes humboldt county california look like a pea farm\\\

[jimboloco]

so really the effexor made you angry with rage?
sorry to hear that
i can't fucking believe that the stupid shrinks never prescribed this for me

jesus
no wonder you are at the wailing wall

[stilltrucking]

no jim I did not mean to say that taking effexor causes rage but that there are problems when you stop taking it.
it is the withdrawl that is a bitch
you have to come off of it very carefuly

But you know what a nut job I am
a four f certified crazy by my selective service board conscientious objector.
What I am saying is what happened to me, I am only speaking for myself.

Green Pepper Rage.

I had just decided to stop taking Effexor, I can't remember why I stopped taking it, but one morning a week or so later (I think) while I was making an omelete cutting up a green pepper. The cutting board tipped over and everything fell on the floor. A flood of rage came on like a lightning bolt and I stabbed down with the knife on the counter. My hand slipped off the knife and ran down the blade. The worse thing about it was lying to the ER doctor about how it happened. Because I was so ashamed of myself The story I told about an accident did not jibe with the wound. The doctor was kind of wondering about my story



no free brunch
I used to have a friend in high school
who would say
"according to the first law of thermodynamics there is no free lunch"

Even so
I think Zen is a free lunch.
I can't think of a down side

but

pot or effexor have their down sides
for pot it is legal issues and the smoking wear and tear on the lungs

for prescriptions it is the one size fits all mentality and the lack of disclosure. Nobody told me about the issues with rage and problems of withdrawl.



wishing you love peace and taco grease

[jimboloco]

oh man i am not planning to withdraw from effexor until after i die
or pot until the party is over an my man stops his biz
which ain't for a while

so what was the problem with your knife story?

e fixer upper
un fixer downer

hi lo
lo hi

zen wants you to be sitting facing the wall on 8 am on the weekend
not the wailing wall either
but base buddha is portable
potable oo

[stilltrucking]

Only a surgeon could tell you jimbo, he could not understand how I could have got a cut like that by the story I was telling.

My zen was seventy miles an hour looking through a rain spattered wind shield. For a million miles and more. With 18 wheels humming home sweet home.

I don't sit, but I have seen people here who do a lot of zen they say some shitty things so I figured fuck it. I like to do my zazen behind the wheel.

Mnaz asked a good question but only a crazy fuck like me thinks so I guess. He say "Where the hell are we that's what I want to know" And I want to know what the hell I am doing here. I got the fist pounding wall banging thing iside me again. Put away the sharp instrumbents.


good luck jimbo
good luck and good night

judih say things are shaky where she is
I think she is on the planet Earth somewhere.

I know what she means

ANother astroid just missed hitting us last week, a near miss forty thousand miles or something. But god is looking out for us so what me worry.

It is a big old goofy world

[jimboloco]

ya the last dokusan i went to with a zen teacher
i was not comfortable
he said, "you can do zazen while you're driving your car,

everyone must get stoned!

in jury duty today
waiting for the call

made a joint this morning
new ounce
nice

some transfigurations are bettern others
no matter how ya slice it

i'd like t see judih shakin
down by th sheik's crypt

[judih]

hey, well, you're welcome to come and shimmy by my side.
the crypt awaits (and has been for a century or so)

[jimboloco]

oh my goodness yes
we'll shake an shimmy in the moonlight
and breathe in the sweet scented air!


i am stopping pot
the party is over
did an initial counseling today
and will get into a 12 step program

seems drastic
but
pot is not
is not my path of prime
i got other sins to pursue now
as well as secret blessings

[mtmynd]

i think we reach a time when enough is quite enough.
my time was my CAD diagnosis along with the 2xangioplasty
and if it wasn't for that i probably would still be smoking (both)
but since that time for me i know that it was enough
there wasn't any need to continue tokin' up
not at my age for my head... new challenges showed up
what's going on when i'm straight and sober,
when my lungs are clear and my heart feels relieved,
what's up with walking every morning and seeing
the changes, the improvements each day in lung capacity

life is different and i don't think one can explain
how the differences were changes that had to be
or face the consequences that were dismal and
really a method of killing myself to make my ego happy
if that's what i could call stoned, rolling buglers and drinking

bogus times now that i look back at it
but i always know how easy it'd be
to fall off that wagon and return to those times
all those years make it so seductive because
that's where i was for so long and it became me
and now at 64 now it's all a strange and curious
place i lived but the future looks better than then

good luck, jimbo... your family deserves it, i'm sure.