Siblings

[Yejun]

The lightning and the thunder passed their time,
By making fun of those beneath their show:
"Look," from the Light, "I hit the dynamo
To free the criminal to do his crime."
"Listen," from Sound, "and hear the screaming clime.
They fear their God when hearing what I know
And pray to Him in unrelenting woe."
Now both: "Yes, yes, we are the true sublime."

But through it all my daughter and my son
(The girl is six, the boy, his second year.)
Enjoyed the candle flares and flashlight games;
And when my girl displayed a sudden fear,
My son, dissolving what the storm had done,
Placed his hand on hers between the flames.

[Doreen Peri]

Very nice, Yejun! I liked the phrasing "candle flares and flashlight games" (and other wording in this also).

You painted a picture of a moment and took me there. good job with the images and rhythm .... I could just see your son placing his hand on his sister's hand between the flames to ease her fear of the storm.

Good to see you again!

[Yejun]

Yeah, things have changed.

Always good to read and see you.

[Mark Christopher]

I am with Doreen on this. I could visually see the scene and that is always a sign of a good write. I enjoyed and look forward to more.

[Perdida]

yup I agree too, "candle flares and flashlight games"

could see it cleary, bright as day. *grins*

[Yejun]

Thanks,

I'm curious as to how people are reading "we are" in L8.

Is it "we ARE"

or "WE are"

I read it as the former but given the God references above, I think a case can be made for the latter.

What's your take?

[Doreen Peri]

we ARE

otherwise the meter doesn't sound quite right

[Perdida]

I read it as "we ARE"

[Yejun]

Much appreciated.

If enough people did read it as "WE are" I would probably have to restructure that line.

Which is something I may do anyway.