pot is not

[stilltrucking]

ten four on our own path to walk

I liked GA's tag line a whole lot.

"YOUR way is your only way." - jack kerouac

I get homesick everytime I see Gorious Amok's banner come up in the rotation



Roses are starting to bud, spring is so sweet but short in south texas.

Take care of your self jimboloco
Your country needs you.
No shit man.

You sure you did not go to patterson park high school back in Baltimore?

You remind of of some one I knew in high school for some reason.

dissection

Why do I think of Emily Dickinson every time I read that word.

Must have been a poem

[jimboloco]

new challenges showed up
what's going on when i'm straight and sober,
when my lungs are clear and my heart feels relieved,
what's up with walking every morning and seeing
the changes, the improvements each day in lung capacity

nice
and i appreciate it, el paso hombre
i have browsed your art site and it is impressive
in terms of being a sustaining practice
for wellbeing, art fantastic

i am now trying to make a committment

texas spring lasts about 1 month longer than south florita's
which is zero

so my scroll on this central area of my life
is not done yet

i need to make it happen

left my roachclip and mulcher and pipe
in the alley on my back fence
dangling from a parade beads\

my last joint
had buried the leftover pot in the back corner backyard
also my seeds\
this morning, got up and dug thru the dirt
found three wet buds
brought them inside and dried them in the oven
went thru the garbage and found my last zigzags
and rolled up one
and sat in the backyard just happy
in reverie ine more time
then got tired

i went to sign up for employee assistance program
i like it because it is by st anthony's hospital
where kerouac died

she told me i will have to be straight when i come back next week
i still have some scratch in my dad's ww2 army airforce trunk
pitiful dregs\i think i threw away all my roaches too

smoked 1/2 a cigarrette and got nauseus
good old tobacco\

i am precepting a marvelous young lady who is about to graduate from university in nursing.

i continue to get accolades from the students


my wife is my queen
she wears a sharp sword and holds a magic wand

i know that i can emerge
a late bloomer
a renaissance time
still 61 but not for long

thanks again guys

this scroll now sees the light at the end of the tunnel,
but not there yet.

haiku for stoners

wow man
nice breeze
don't bogard that joint

that's about it

no time to intellectualize ST
i'd have to look it up
dissection resection

i did hear of emily dick's son tho
he was a bastard who
was transfigured into a little kid giving the finger
after he left the wailing wall where
he prayed out all his goodness
and returned feeling born again
now growing up all over again

so you see i understand this process
because i am a bastard
and adulterer in my heart
and growing up all over again too

[stilltrucking]

I learn something every day. I never knew she had a son. I just liked the poem.

You know the one I mean?

Mousey said something about dissection. I don't dissect your words jimbo.

I just speak to what I can, what I hear.



see ya round

[jimboloco]

hopefully i will see ya round the bend

literate trucker
not one to complain
glad emily dickenson
wrote for you
which she did indeed
so her poetry was not wasted
like i am

[stilltrucking]

A long thread this one compadre, it has been a struggle for you I know. I am pretty wasted too. I wish I could think of that poem. Something about the mystery of her heart and if you try to dissect it or analyze it like pinning a butterfly to a wall to enjoy its beauty.

She is a smart little mouse,. A cyberpal for sure.

I spent about an hour or maybe less trying to find the poem But no luck. And it had nothing to do with all this.

Just word association game. You know anything about Aspergers? (the little professor syndrome) I suppose that is how I sound. Intellectualizing. a form of autism. I may have it or I may be a hypochondriac or both.

You got to be careful what you pretend to be they say. I been pretending to be a writer because there is nothing worse than an assimilated Jew with a protestant work ethic. Re: Walter Kaufmann, The Faith of A Heretic.


Yeah I love Emily, we spent the night together back in 1974, it was sweet, I met her at the ship wreck saloon in Revere Beach. Here name was really Vicki, but all my friends called her "Pickles". She had a copy of Dickinson collected poems.

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

ED

What can I say
except
see ya round like a donut.

[stilltrucking]

The Bible is an antique Volume

1545

The Bible is an antique Volume—
Written by faded men
At the suggestion of Holy Spectres—
Subjects—Bethlehem—
Eden—the ancient Homestead—
Satan—the Brigadier—
Judas—the Great Defaulter—
David—the Troubador—
Sin—a distinguished Precipice
Others must resist—
Boys that "believe" are very lonesome—
Other Boys are "lost"—
Had but the Tale a warbling Teller—
All the Boys would come—
Orpheus' Sermon captivated—
It did not condemn—

Emily Dickinson

I got a couple days of R and R, out in the country house sitting for The Bear and His Wife.

How is it going?

[stilltrucking]

I got side tracked above and forgot to mention this bit Re that guy from high school I said you reminded me of.

It may be a case of mistaken identity. His name was Sheldon and he did not go to patterson, he went to the another high school the one most of the Jewish kids from my neighborhood chose. I know I did. But I was expelled. I think it was something to do with that broken jaw I had at the time.

He was a cool dude. I saw him not for about twenty years, that would be around 1980 I think. He was running a jazz club down on the water front in baltimore. I don't know if he was a veteran or not. He remembered me too, Crazy Jack son of Crazy Mike.



I guess he bore a physical resemblance to you.

[jimboloco]

i call you a professor
in the style of the hobos
you ain't no dilletante
you are real

thanks for the poems
swell in fact

had a great day
worked with two lovely ladies
mentored one
precepted the other

flirted with the night charge nurse
she said she would give me a wakeup call
in the morning
and made like that call would be more than a telephone
i told her she was being cruel
she laughed at me.

i snuck a roach\
drinking a gingerale and mojito
holy dope

[jimboloco]

that's my standard excuse to our manager'\
"i'm no worse than sheldon!"

thanks for the memoriies
more tomorrow
spacing out again

dissection
dissecting words
compartmentalizing meaning

[stilltrucking]

No worse than Sheldon is a good man in my eyes compadre.

He was the first person I met who told me he smoked. This was around 1960.

Say I found the poem about "dissect" and it was not by Emily it was by Sylvia somebody

If you dissect a bird
to diagram the tongue,
you'll cut the chord
articulating song.

If you flay a beast
to marvel at the mane,
you'll wreck the rest
from which the fur began.

If you assault a fish
to analyse the fin,
your hands will crush
the generating bone.

If you pluck out my heart
to find what makes it move,
you'll halt the clock
that syncopates our love.

Still out in New Berlin
Sunshine, I saw the sun rise
lie
I almost saw the sunrise it was up ten minutes before I made it out side. going to catch the full show tomorrow morning,

[jimboloco]

new berlin
we had a practice field
abandoned airfield
almost died out there
midair with the aggie
just missed 2 t-38's
i pulled up as he flew across my bow
i said shit
he mutterred something back

we had a rudimentary map with landmarks scribbled
i was always lost out there
never practiced with an instructor
just flying traffic patterns, touch an go
fly an outerpattern, flys into the airfield high overhead at 1000 feet
midfield, swing turn wing to the left and the inner downwind for landing
touch and go, takeoff again and fly out to turn left to outer downwind and do it again

lots of highspeed planes around
heavy highspeed traffic
i know there were midair collisions in pilot training
happenned in phoenix az tres compadres at once
so we were players in a war machine game

you can probably hear see them to this day
out in new berlin?

or is that out near fredricksburg in the hill country?

i think our practice field was segiun

got a book by mel ash
zen of recovery
a 12 step program for pot heads

smoked the very last scratch
from the dust in my young dad's old ww2 army airforce trunk
at 5 pm sitting in the backyard
sweet

now am stoned and fatigued as well

oh well
4/4/2009 my d-day
4/9/2009 my intro to the EAP chemical dependency program

my sheldon is a hoot
he is indian from trinidad
has the island time in his mind
and likes the ladies
works on the resperatory floor

we work together once in a blue moon

slyvia plath
on the path
her spirit we honor still
no doubt about it
you are her vessel of love

[jimboloco]

interesting starting the fffexor brought me into my latent satori
stopping pot is the way for me
to let it be

Trying to remember why I decided to stop the Rx, I remember thinking wow this is like pot times effexor. A different high, more intense. Have you noticed anything?

I feel kind of squirmy talkinga about this on a public forum. We are "names" here.
Thinking about the incident with your cell phone
you know what a paranoid jerk I am.

I am searching the net looking for some info on possible interactions.
this one does not seem very good news.

http://www.mhsanctuary.com/therapist/1159.htm

I don't know how much you can trust a web therapist. I mean I don't know what his training is.

I would like to find some links to a edu site. Some how I expect them to be objective.

another link
http://boards.cannabis.com/medicinal-ca ... juana.html

Just for your info jim, nothing really bad or weird happened to me j , it was like too high all the time. Like tripping all the time, the thrill wore off. I probably should have quit the pot and stayed on the the effexor. Been a lot easier on my lungs.


I think artguy is on ssri and he smokes, I don't remember him reporting any weird side effects except for that dream about hitting a deer in one then he got out of the car and he was going to cut the rack off the dear and then when he went to cut the dear's throat it turned into his father. I will never forget about that dream of his. I think he mentioned that weird dreams are one of the know side effects of the ssri he was using but I don't remember if it was Effexor or not.



anyway here is another story. I hope you find some good news cause what I am finding don't look too promising. I would be curious what artguy has to say about all this.

After more testing, the physician finally concluded that the neurological combination of cannabis and venlafaxine caused seretonin to rise to extremely dangerous levels in the cerebral section of the brain. This directly caused the incredibly increased heart rate, as well as seizures. His oxygen saturation was at 84% due to the fluttering of the heart. His heart was pumping so fast that its effectiveness was lost and more CO2 was in his blood gasses than O2- thus causing additional cardiac stress and output. He had an arrythmia known as a severely prolonged QT Interval which was triggered by the seretonin toxicity- again- a result from the combination of cannabis and venlafaxine.

At about 10:am the following morning, he had regained full consciousness and no signs of seizures since 3:AM. The tachycardia and arrythmias were absent- his heart was pacing normally at 78-86 bpm which is considered normal. His blood pulse-ox returned to 99% and a good normal blood pressure of 145/80.

All of the physicians involved agreed to the consensus that this event was caused directly by the combination of the two agents cannabis and venlafaxine. He was strongly advised to abstain from one or the other, and told that he was lucky to be alive and that he was fortunate to receive the medical attention that he did- when he did, or things may not have had a good ending.

We have decided to abstain from using cannabis from now on, as the effectiveness of the Effexor far outweighs the benefits of blazing every night. Certinaly we will never combine the two again.

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=37418

"life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone" always liked that song
Jack and Diane-- John Cougar Mellonhead

i'd like to have john mellenkamp's art barn in indiana

thanks for this professor
i knew i could count on you.

moron this later

to supper
and bed
up early for the jewel mine
have an angel to guide me
shepherd me along
no more nasty wake up calls from jihad
in pennsylvania

tried to buy a search for the origins of the number
but the search engine blocked it

i got my money back too
but i saved the message
keeps me awake when i'm not sleepy

you got a memory like a magician
keep on truckin'

[stilltrucking]

new berlin

that's the place jimbo
out by Sequin

Yes the war birds still fly here
and Whooping cranes too.

must be on the fly way

"cut me loose
let me fly
after all these years
I am still alive" jitterbug

Homeboy another one of my siblings was a flight surgeon at Randolph during your time there.

Small world

Sunday morning no yellow mellow light, clouds on the horizon.

I know how the days goes
four am the coyotes yip
six am the rooster crows
the sun rises
an hour later

Hope you got a good Sunday going

I am going to sit outside as much as I can
waiting for an answer to Job.
and
re reading the Magician of Lublin

see ya round like a bagel.

[jimboloco]

holy passover my head
watch out for a midair collision
especially on a cloudy day
with a cloud cover high enough to allow
pattern flying around seguin
you'll see them t-38 sports cruizers
sweet moses never had it so good
round like a burning ring of fire
holy fire and brimstone!
twelve steps are the start of a ten thousand mile journey
moron this later compadre

[jimboloco]

nice to be out in the country real nice
why not make like the sober duck
and take some more scarred and worn mesquite tree pics
a flavor of texasz my old childhood home for awhile
the prarie the cow skulls the cactussez and the jackrabbits
tall and lean, full of strong meat stillhoppin
thru th sagebrush and prarie grass
amen

i admit to this scroll i am powerless over marijuana
my life is absurdly stunted and unmanageable at apex
about to leap off the cliff backwards down i go
falling to far below ah but realli only an arc
a nadir to echo the power oof healing down delow
from up above waiting for the white dove
to ascend down upon youall ya'll
over yonder

oh yeah i also hope for higher power
hope for faith in things unseen
the clear crystal tower
of clarity, kindness, and insight
for energy, vitality, and spirit

alas i am a poor sinner seeking help now
and just in timeoh yeah
this higher power can help me along the way
in blessed fellowship and community
a late bloomer in this as well
my cousins both long time sinners also
the lady michele a substance abuse administrator
the whole danged state of loussyanna
baton rouge a tigress for sure
yeah i'll want to clue her in
into my sin and familian repentance one more time
i'm on a survival missionyeah

so after the intro to the first three steps, god is invoked,
grace is revealed thru the mstery of the next several more
4,5,6,7,8,,9,10 steps upwards in introspective cleansing
whilst de-toxing mon halleluja you rod the ganga smoke monster all the way home
and now i am done, enough!

andd after this thorough self cleansing through introspective clarity
then one might even aspire to a regognition, a glimpse of serenity
through meditation and prayer, the holy 11th step, ya cannot step onit,
just a steady grasp and upward, to touch the upper step number 12 to be exact
is just a grasp and steadfast hand as ya step out onto the flat roof under the moon
sober and straightthis next time hopefully prayerfully
and remember t share in the healing all round like a holy pretzyl round for a load of mustard and a firm hold and don't let go no mo