Hard times

[gmart]

Its a hard time
one not easy to put into words
like standing on ice on a frozen lake
ice that's broken and drifting away
nothing is solid
no footing
no place to rest

3 months or is it 4
days rush past, at the speed of light

I don't really like doctors
I feel they have an agenda and its different from mine
so I take control
right or wrong, it's what I have to do

I probably would have let them have control
let them tell me what to do, after all they are the experts
until I heard the words
I have bad news
The surgical site has collapsed
This hardly ever happens

Right!

That was my cue
To save him I must step up
Make the decisions I know I'm not qualified to make
But decisions I know are right

So I reject their spinal pins and full body casts
for rest and comfort and peace

If he must die, if this is going to kill him
at least his last days will be comfortable
No more surgery, no body casts, just rest
let his body heal

Four months later and hes still here.
Getting stronger every day
Not out of the woods yet, but hopeful
He is my friend
I made the right choices

I hope.

[Barry]

Very moving. My hat's off to you. And to your friend.

Peace,
Barry

[Yejun]

At first, I wanted to complain about losing your metaphor, but I wonder if this "technique" has its own possibilities. You start out writing a poem that looks like a poem and then lose that for a more genuine, more real moment.

The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.