26

[jackofnightmares]

I never wanted to ask you for anything again
I thought I never would need to
but help him

[SadLuckDame]

You can always ask for my help.
Can I do anything, cause I would?

[stilltrucking]

Thanks

[SadLuckDame]

I spent the day searching google, popping in names, specific locations, everything my wee mind could grasp and I'm not finding anything I was looking for. My internals are chaotic. I'm swimming in it, what creations my mind can create when it wanders. What do I do now? I'm lost. It's so easy to get lost, it seems. I've no iron in the tip of my nose.

[stilltrucking]

I read somewhere that gratitude is the highest form of prayer.
I am grateful

I don't pray much any more. Not for anything for myself. Well maybe. I pray for a "hearing heart"

For his sake



I don't know how to help him. He is 26 now and he could use a miracle. Some grace.

My nose has been broken so many times it looks like a cork screw. My magnet points towards OZ.



A typical nightmare for me lost and trying to find my way home without a wizard to help me.

<center>HER OWN BACKYARD</center>

"But it wasn’t a dream. It was a place. And you…and you…and you…and you were there”



The Wizard of Oz as a Secular Myth of America

The Seventh Solitude

The metaphysical homelessness blues

More on strange loop and The Wizard of Oz.

What would a child ask

In the early twentieth century, Alfred North Whitehead and Bertrand Russell clarified that mathematics and logic are one and the same thought process. A twist was added to this wisdom when, in 1931, the mathematician Kurt Gödel demonstrated that mathematics would always be incomplete, caught in a recursive paradox that offers no definitive answers. This idea was taken up by Douglas Hofstadter, Professor of Cognitive Sciences at the University of Indiana, in his book Gödel, Escher, Bach, in which he demonstrated this recursive paradox in mathematics, art, and music. He called these never-ending paradoxes “strange loops.” In his latest book, I Am a Strange Loop, Hofstadter explains the childlike capacity to imagine in terms of the strange loops of neurons in our brains that can lead to spontaneous discovery. Speaking of Kurt Gödel’s 1931 incompleteness theorem, Hofstadter reflects about “this insight of his into the roots of meaning . . . that thanks to a mapping, full-fledged meaning can suddenly appear in a spot where it was entirely unsuspected.”

[SadLuckDame]

I'm constantly lost, a yellow brick road would help. And a pair of ruby slippers. I like that boy's joy, it gives me joy to look at him. To be innocently young again. Is it a glimpse of an angel in front of him or is that just superstitious of me to think it up?

The ex would step in and tell me the illogical way I've got, then go on to explain exactly what it was I was looking at, actually. The magic can disappear in a blink of an eye. Poof! And I'd want to be home too, like you.

But, if I could just hang out in the nonsensical long enough, I become magic for a spell. I can capture some of his joy by forgetting who I'm to be. I'll be someone Dorthy walks with. I'll need a fingerprint. The wizard could help me attain one, maybees. I'm so off topic. eep.

[stilltrucking]

I don't know what the top is to get off of.

Like a row of dominos

the inevitable fall of man

theologians say it's a woman to blame

that is why her hips are so wide

we have such big heads

nothing like a good night's sleep

to improve my attitude

don't mean nothing

just a prayer in a bottle

set adrift

to float across the galactic sea

to the Christ within

Or Glinda

[stilltrucking]

Thank you for noticing his joy
I missed that
I also missed the happiness on his mother's face too.

angels are superstitious?
I don't know, i do know that I am superstitious

Sometimes he feels like a motherless child.

Eve cursed to bring forth children in pain I think the b ible says

And some people want to know if adam had a belly button.

So god gave us us sex organs in the garden of eden so we would be preprared for our exile I suppose.

My information is so dated, I remember a comparative embryology course I took in 1960
the professor talked about the large head of a human fetus and why woman's hips are so wide apart

Did our heads get bigger after we ate that apple?

[SadLuckDame]

LOL! I just assume they're superstitious to most. But, I truly know not. Trucker, I used to have this over abundance of time. All my boredom would escalate and kaboom! I'd blow my top off. I miss it.
I'm frightened of a lot at the moment. To see the boy with joy, and yes the Momma's joy, plus the angel between their hands...well it was just exactly the remedy I needed at exactly the right time.
I felt 'lighter' after looking.
That's a gem. Tell him so.
Tell him I smiled and felt lighter.

I'll return.

[SadLuckDame]

What will you ask me for?
My haunted sleep. I've got it in the head, something.

I love Richie. I've seen him twice, both times at festivals and it was a small crowd. At the first one, I didn't know who he was, but his 'Motherless child' had a grip on me. He is a very strong power on a stage, doesn't even need back-ups, he drowns all out, really. It's amazing.
At the 2nd performance there, the crowd was so small, maybe twenty of us, stoned, tripping, all sorts of sorts and he got real real with us. He chatted like we were all in a circle of a living room, stretched out on the floor having out deep chats.
I loved him.
I played some of his tunes at my daughter's birth, I knew I'd go elsewhere with his presence.

Birthing.
Yes, Eve got us cursed. My son was my hardest concurring of pain and over coming it.

I think it adds a level of believing 'invincibility' after surviving the whole course.

Women birth, than say, now I can handle anything.

That was fifteen years ago, and still nothing has topped that amount of surviving. It must be true, so far, in my estimations.

That birth was handled roughly for good reason. The doctor was wise seeing that I was merely a teen needing my lessons on consequences. He was sure to see me suffer it.

Induction is interesting.
The actual push was the best part, I finally had control and could use my own force and guts and rage and rawness. I was relieved with the push, it meant control. I was capable and he was out in ten minutes. The labor showed me how I was capable too. I could have strangled anyone if they'd come within my grasp. It was full of such a beasty, wild, primitive self.
What women are made of is mysterious. What comes out can be unexpected.

My information is so dated, I remember a comparative embryology course I took in 1960
the professor talked about the large head of a human fetus and why woman's hips are so wide apart

Did our heads get bigger after we ate that apple?

Lol! Yes, I believe you're very right.

[stilltrucking]

And men got to sweat for their daily bread. Something got to give. Women are bread winners too. Somebody said I pander to women. Maybe so. But they are so interesting to me. Men so fucking boring. Virginia Woolf wanted to know why men find women so much more interesting then women find men.

I work at home taking calls for those infocommercials you see on TV. I took a call for Sarah Palin's new book. 'Going Rogue'

The new feminism, a bold new concept of womanhood. Somehow it made me feel dirty.

[SadLuckDame]

I like both, though I'm particular.

[stilltrucking]

I like the difference between. How do the French say "long live the difference."

But I am very tired of patriarchal religions. I have heard it said that in Christ there is no east or west. I would like to believe in God there is no male and female.

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[stilltrucking]

Reading 'YOU'D BETTER F**CKING TIP' by Geoff Parsons.

i am going to have to give him my copy of Geoff's book. As much as I don't want to, I can only hope he gives it back. I guess will just have to order another copy if he does. No big deal. Just a book. A book that makes me happy. I want to say to him "see this guy has found to do something with his life, he has a passion, he is a writer. Something to hold onto.

But I guess he is okay, he has found a mission for himself. Who am I to say what he should do with his life at twenty six.