But Still

Post your poetry, any style.
Post Reply
User avatar
K&D
Posts: 707
Joined: August 13th, 2005, 8:59 pm
Location: Baton Rouge
Contact:
Contact K&D

But Still

Post by K&D » November 5th, 2009, 1:35 am

your probably not but still
but still I will wait for a maybe or sometime
or I don’t know.

Your niceities send me to hostility
I will take advantage so take care sweetness
Oh I don’t know

Ill go along for the ride but really
Take me anywhere but home
Its nothing unknown

And yet I’m here still.
So still the air would be between
Us you must know.
Blah!
Top
User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:
Contact judih

Post by judih » November 5th, 2009, 2:41 am

overt is so last year
the simmering maybes of your piece
are so very present moment

well written piece K&D
Top
saw
Posts: 8655
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Post by saw » November 5th, 2009, 9:39 am

I like the doubt in this, with it's well-crafted line breaks.......trying to untangle the hopelessly entwined ....
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading
Top
User avatar
Barry
Posts: 679
Joined: August 14th, 2008, 9:12 pm
Location: Portland, Oregon

Post by Barry » November 5th, 2009, 10:34 pm

Everybody thinks they know, don't they? It's sooo rich.

Nice work here.

Peace,
Barry
Top
User avatar
SadLuckDame
Posts: 4216
Joined: September 17th, 2009, 8:25 pm

Post by SadLuckDame » November 5th, 2009, 11:43 pm

I, too, likes that maybes. Good like this.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll
Top
User avatar
goldenmyst
Posts: 633
Joined: April 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm
Location: Bible Belt :(
Contact:
Contact goldenmyst

Post by goldenmyst » November 8th, 2009, 10:39 pm

Cool poem K&D.
Your niceities send me to hostility
I will take advantage so take care sweetness
Fantastic lines!

John
Top
User avatar
Perdida
Posts: 368
Joined: July 15th, 2006, 8:07 pm
Location: Sydney, Australia
Contact:
Contact Perdida

Post by Perdida » November 10th, 2009, 3:41 pm

Your niceities send me to hostility
Argh i know what you mean here, sighs.
Take me anywhere but home
looove that :D

Nice to read you again, it has been a while. I've been looking out for you too :wink:

m
The path to true love isn't always straight.
(Uknown)

www.algonquinstable.com
Top
User avatar
mb
Posts: 116
Joined: October 23rd, 2009, 1:54 pm
Location: early Holocene
Contact:
Contact mb

Re: But Still

Post by mb » November 10th, 2009, 5:26 pm

K&D wrote: Your niceities send me to hostility
I will take advantage so take care sweetness
Oh I don’t know
I really dig the apparent juxtapositions here that really aren't, underneath it all. I love the light touch.

-mb
Top
User avatar
Lightning Rod
Posts: 5211
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
Location: between my ears
Contact:
Contact Lightning Rod

Post by Lightning Rod » November 10th, 2009, 7:38 pm

yes, simple and full of doubt
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye
Top
User avatar
pjbuk2
Posts: 23
Joined: April 22nd, 2005, 10:23 pm
Contact:
Contact pjbuk2

Post by pjbuk2 » November 10th, 2009, 7:41 pm

I love it, monologuesque.
Top
User avatar
hester_prynne
Posts: 2363
Joined: June 26th, 2006, 12:35 am
Location: Seattle, Washington
Contact:
Contact hester_prynne

Post by hester_prynne » November 10th, 2009, 11:08 pm

"but still I will wait for a maybe or so"
Great line.
Really dug the poem.
H 8)
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests