dream book

[stilltrucking]

Tell me what it feels like to be male?

A good question. Mostly lucky. I feel like fortunate son. To be a man and not a woman. And constantly horny. And violent. Always violence lurking, quick to anger. and violent.
But not so much anymore. The blessings of longevity I suppose. I am not right. Violent, so much violence. Just not right. Not a good one to ask what it is feels like to be a man. There are better men here to ask then me. Better men then me. Cecil or jimboloco or wireman ask them.

[SadLuckDame]

Does this mean I got your temper going by asking you?
But you're the one I wanted to ask.

[stilltrucking]

No dame that is not what it means. I have never hurt a woman except just once.

I come close to strangling my mother in a murderous rage. It was the look on her face that stopped me. I had her throat in my hands I could feel the blood pulsing in her jugular vein.

Never forget the look on her face. I wrote a haiku about it once or something like a haiku, I can't remember it now, something about suicide by matricide. About ten years later I tripped with her. I mean I was tripping my ass off with acid and she was not, we talked till four in the morning. She told me a joke about the Jewish boy who murdered his mother. It was a horrible crime, he cut her heart out with a butcher knife and went running down the street screaming with her heart in his hands. And he tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and fell down. And her heart said "Oi, did you hurt yourself son?" That was the look on her face such infinite sadness.
That close I came to it.

I always like this song a lot.

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[SadLuckDame]

Well I had naked dreams last night. I don't recall any details though, which is a shame because I would of thought it great fun to share one of those in this thread.

I didn't like looking up the meanings of my dreams. Not all were very fortunate. Muddy water equals bad, snakes equal bad, race and running wasn't that great either. Naked equaled good surprisingly, so had grandparent and dove.

[stilltrucking]

Dreamed about computers, worrisome dream
Dreamed about a vagina also, much better dream
waking up mornings with a hell of a headache the past couple of weeks
aspirin a wonder drug for me

[stilltrucking]

RE: vagina dream
it was beautiful
It was standing on its own
Like the an Arch Way to the sun
I was on one side looking through it
Into the the Sky
A dream of rebirth I think about it now.

[SadLuckDame]

LOL! I'm almost speechless. Wanted to say on first thought, "I wished I'd seen your vagina.' But, second thoughts had me rethinking it. Anyway, sounds very encouraging towards a positive message, a brighter future, prolly, to see an individual vagina standing on her own. It reminds me of Henry's descriptions of vaginas. I really found them crazily fun. To be a man must be interesting.

[SadLuckDame]

I've spent most of my weekend sleeping,
so I've added up a lot of dreams.
Last nights were interesting, but similar to my normal kind.

I was out on a dock,
the water will go over top the dock in places.
I laid down in a muddy puddle atop the dock watching three snakes. Either one was female, and two male or vice versa. It was about a rattler, a cobra and a cotton mouth. The two fought for the one. They danced across my body, but I wasn't afraid of them. They were so concerned with each other that they posed no sort of threats to me.

I had to make a decision on whether I trusted them with my eyes shut and fast asleep. Did I trust them then? I decided not to risk it and to go sleep elsewhere instead. I could only trust the three with my eyes open and aware.
When leaving, at the end of the dock submerged in muddy waters were large black spiders. I was relieved I'd not stayed if they were hiding about.
So I could play with monsters seen and not tamper with any hidden.
Which is a real truth out on the dock. It's the creatures in the Styrofoam, the ones who lurk beneath the depths,
I'd scurry from.
If a snake sliced across the top of the waters, it was fine.

Another dream was my daughter and her two friends wanting to shoot up powdered candy with needles.
I was freaking out about it.
I didn't want them to do it, for even if it was harmless sugar, it could lead them experience to later shoot up more dangerous types.
Plus I kept yelling about not sharing needles, Aids and then looking at their innocence thinking, but they couldn't have Aids, they're young and innocent. But, I wanted them to hear about it now.
It had bothered me a lot. Not wanting them to desensitize themselves and become accepting.

I think about the meaning of this and my worries from yesterday were of my daughter accepting the untruths of her Daddy's. I was really worried in the long run he is going to desensitize her, she'll accept mistreatment from men later on and how hopeless I feel to change her mind, open her eyes. I have to beg of him to make room for her in his busy life. He has too many bands to play for, too many parties planned that he's to attend, too many friends, too much time promised to the girlfriend. It's never convenient to have his daughter skipping about. And she has him on such a peddle-stool.
Thinking he's wonderful.
I'm to try to steer her without damaging her.
I'll be nuts.

The night before I crammed in a gazillion work related dreams. I'll not get into their tiresome details. But, I did have an opportunity to shout out in the heated moments all the things I'd wished to say.

[stilltrucking]

Sugar is a trip
Slept good last night
Lost the dream though
How they vanish like the morning mist
I got to write them down right away
Dream book I got that from Kerouac
He was very meticulous with his dreams
I read that bit in a book about him by Anne Charters

I carried it around for so long it disentegrated
I am going to buy another copy this payday

She was doing a bibliography of him and it turned into a biography.
She spent a lot of time with him.
She said he was a gentlemen
He only hit on her once.
And never tried again.




I think it is okay to trust my dreams. I do.
I like george santayana a lot
he said "skepticism is the chastity of the intellect"

thinking about that because of a poem someone wrote about how he would not lie to a woman for her love.

What a crock.

The bear lied to my sister about his bullet wound. Told her he was a vietnam vet, wounded in combat. The truth was better than the lie. He was shot by an irate father who was beating on his daughter because she was with the bear at a swimming pool. The bear stepped between them and grabbed his arm. The father pulled out a gun and shot him just like that.


I am honest to a fault my rose of san antone told me
I only lie to myself

maybe that is why I have not fucked in 30 years come next Feruary.

[stilltrucking]

Doreen liked this song


I'd Lie To You For Your Love

I watched you walk into the room,
C
I wanna say this just right.
G
If you ain't waitin' for somebody special,
C
Would you be with me tonight?
D C
I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I'm a movie star.
G D
I'm an astronaut, and I own this bar.

G C
And I'd lie to you for your love,
G C
I'd lie to you for your love.
G C
I'd lie to you for your love,
G
That's the truth.

I can tell you wanna hear,
C
Or some secrets 'bout myself.
G
I can tell you you're the only one baby,
C
There'll never be nobody else.
D C
Yeah, I'm runnin' for president, I've got money to burn.
G D
My heart don't ache, and my body don't yearn.

G C
And I'd lie to you for your love,
G C
I'd lie to you for your love.
G C
I'd lie to you for your love,
G
That's the truth.

Em G
Oh baby, it would be easy just to come out and say it,
Em C D
I ain't never seen a woman quite like you.

G C
My family comes from royalty on my daddy's side.
G
I can read your palms and cards and tell you,
C
Our love just can't be denied.
D C
I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I'm a movie star.
G D
I'm an astronaut, and I own this bar.

G C
And I'd lie to you for your love,
G C
I'd lie to you for your love.
G C
I'd lie to you for your love,
G C
That's the truth.
G C G C G
That's the truth.

Sometimes sleep is good medicine
I hope you are feeling better.

[SadLuckDame]

You know that I look deeper into your stories than the words, right?
I doubt the words, and believe you to be highly imaginative to tell tales that will direct. Too many women for it to be 30 years, Jack. LOL! I never believe it, but I like stories. I like stories a lot.

He has brought out my primitive personality. I hadn't known it'd existed until him. I'd say I'd kill anyone who'd harm my children. I'd say it often, but now I know what that feels like. For the first time I truly think what strangling someone else...well how it could come about or sumpin'.
I get such primitive emotions.
So yesterday was his birthday. I dislike scorpio. They only see themselves. They can't see another. I'm very self-centered as a Cancerarian, but I feel people. I worry and feel them. It's a balance somehow.

She'd spent her entire day creating. Made a beautiful card for him, made presents, gave him her very own girl scout cookies, made videos of herself singing birthday tunes to him. On and on. It ate her whole day. She was so excited it was his. Then when he finally dropped by to accept her little tokens, he only wanted to accept them, give a hug and rush off. Because so and so had planned a party for him at 5. And the girlfriend had planned one at 8, and he still wanted to reshower, blah blah. I said, "can't you at least take her out for a quick dinner, to let her enjoy you for a bit. She thought of you the whole day." But, he had too many plans. He had to get showered before the party. Finally, he said he'd take her to McD's for a fast meal.

Why had I chosen this guy to begin with. I don't see all the values I'd once thought would be there. It's like a spreading disease.
So in my dream she's shooting up powder sugar.

If I could get my hands around his neck.
But, I'd not do it. He's her Daddy.

[silent woman]

Whether you believe me or not
Like I said I have suceeded beyond my worst nightmares
Women will never have that power over me again.
Don't read too much into my words dame
I am an idiot and an old fucking fool
ask any of the men here
except for wireman
he has always been kind to me.

[SadLuckDame]

Jack, I don't need nor want rescuing.
Just so you know. I do very well as a strong, independent lady.
But, it's sweet of you to think of me.

[silent woman]

Wow, is that what I was doing?

There was comic strip called Pogo. There was a bear in the comic strip who could write but not read. He had to get his friends to read him what he wrote.

So much being learned about the brain, aphasia. But one of the upside of war is that because of TBI we are making great strides in understanding how are brain works.

I just write this stuff
it kind of shocked me that you think I would lie about something like not having caught the scent of a woman in so long.

I miss abstroint
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... ht=#101061

[SadLuckDame]

Sorry I'm not abstroint.
I do want to make you smile.