it's over

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mtmynd
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Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

it's over

Post by mtmynd » April 11th, 2010, 2:11 pm

seven dogs barking
while two orphans cry
five lost angels sleeping
one life fixing to die

all across the divide
behind shadows they lie
people seeking dreams
from bottled prayers they cry

send me some hope
send me some love
the faster they come
the quicker i will die

move over heaven
i'll be headin' that way
that days gonna come
i heard the whispers say

send him some hope
send him some love
the faster they get here
the quicker he will die

no more of this nonsense
just can't take it much more
pass me another breath
before i fall to the floor

nightmares keep me awake
without rest that i need
my knees feel so damn week
my voice can barely speak

send me some hope
send me some love
the faster they arrive
the quicker i'll die

step off this old world
my time's come to an end
i can't complain too much
life's been a good friend

there's nothin' left here
i've done used it all
just some scraps remaining
memories of the ball

where music and dance
took me way far away
from all the missed chances
and all the games i played
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

Steve Plonk
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Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

Post by Steve Plonk » April 11th, 2010, 3:30 pm

A grim & gripping poem...Time to get back to the ball!
The speaker seems to be in the grip of depression...
The only highlight is the "ball" which takes the speaker
to a happy place far away...hopefully there is a support
system out there to cheer up the muse. God bless.

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hester_prynne
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Post by hester_prynne » April 11th, 2010, 3:44 pm

Like contemplating by a river this is.
The last verse, absolutely splendid ending.
H 8)
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW

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mnaz
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Location: north of south

Post by mnaz » April 11th, 2010, 4:57 pm

no! not yet! and yet, always one thing over, something else starting. the river. the circle.

saw
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Post by saw » April 12th, 2010, 8:38 am

the poem speaks of profound fatigue,...an aging warrior looking back, knowing the war will be won or lost by the young bucks.....memories from better times all that is left.....quite sobering...
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » April 12th, 2010, 1:35 pm

It was a hard read for me Cecil.
To get past my vanity that the sunrise does not need me.
But something so zen about it
it cheered me up
gofigure
sincerely
jt

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stilltrucking
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Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas

Post by stilltrucking » April 12th, 2010, 2:08 pm

Your poem made me want to savor every drop
"good to the last drop"

mtmynd
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Location: El Paso

Post by mtmynd » April 12th, 2010, 4:07 pm

Thanks to all these wonderful replies!

It took me by surprise as this is my first poem for 2010.

I appreciate all of you taking time to comment.
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » April 12th, 2010, 4:24 pm

i love the rhyming... and the sincere emotions of this piece

reads like song lyrics ... i hear music!

very nice!

mtmynd
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Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Post by mtmynd » April 12th, 2010, 6:26 pm

I'd love to hear you put this to music, Dor'... 2 8)
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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