Evictions

[Lightning Rod]

I had to make two evictions today. Both were to preserve my domestic tranquility. This wasn't a good day for me. I'm not a cop or a landlord by nature.

The first eviction was of the squirrel who had taken up residence in our living room wall. He had chewed a little hole in the sheet rock wall. I think it was so he could have a heating duct or else he just wanted to peek through and watch American Idol on our TV. Anyway, I patched the hole in the inside wall, but just didn't have the heart to seal up the little fellow's outside door, But today we heard him thumping around and gnawing in there again. So, after much gnashing of teeth, I scared the critter out and sealed the hole with foam. The squirrel will undoubtedly find another place to make a nest. It will probably be in another wall of our house.

The second eviction was of perezoso. I didn't feel any better about the second one than I did of the first one.

Pests are cute sometimes. That squirrel was cute. I would have let him stay if he quit chewing his way through my living room wall. Just like I would have let that cute little perezoso stay if he hadn't been verbally abusive to my friends and my woman.

If the squirrel comes back, I'll let him stay as long as he doesn't chew the house down.

[hester_prynne]

and if he's a bully.
Those bully squirrels.....
they can really get a person down,
if you let them stick around.

H