Confessions of a Sweet Thief

[emel.scott]

I never buy Splenda.
I steal it instead, and
my coffee's much sweeter;
of Quick-Marts I’m fond.
Attendant suspicion
plus this true admission
with small yellow packets
Scott always absconds.

So Bond-like, my glances
to see if I’m spied on
by poor TOEFL takers
all milling about.
I stay low and steady
Chimichanga at ready
in the unlikely case I
must shoot my way out.

For I’m born of gonifs,
of yarmulked gypsies
who had such a nerve
(as I peek thru the blinds).
A kin to Wallendas,
dare-devil suspender
who's only been dropped
on his head, a few times.

[stilltrucking]

gOOD sTuff
I can relate
Sometimes when I want to live dangerously I drive five blocks to the Handy Andy without buckling my seat belt. I feel like a bandido.

So Bond-like, my glances
to see if I’m spied on
by poor TOEFL takers
all milling about.

sorry if I gush
I just like your stuff

on a personal note
But I been thinking about getting a better helmet

[emel.scott]

Thanks Truck, Good to know there are some others out there still taking risks. lol

That's me bro's bike, I was wondering if Doreen still had any of his pics or my son's stuff from Morroco still in the rotation.

[Doreen Peri]

Hey Scott! Good to see you!

Clever & funny piece! I enjoyed it!

.....

Not sure I made any banners from your son's stuff. I remember exchanging emails and getting the link and everything but boy does life take you in other directions sometimes. I don't think I ever followed through! If you want to send me the link again, I'll follow through this time!

Same thing happened with the radio8 show. I created 4 shows a year ago and then... fzzzzz... it fizzled out (my energy and time).. and haven't had time to do it again.

I've got good intentions, believe me. But as they say, that and a $1 will buy me a cup of coffee...

sighhh...

[judih]

great observations in this piece, scott. images from everywhere with a TOEFEL pastiche.

[joel]

I've been reading this one the past few days...and I like it...in the way I'd liked to feel rebelious and steal free promotional posters from fast food restaurants and the high school library. I used them to decorate around the church building (I had keys). When it started to become malicious...petty things of pettier value...I knew I had to stop: especially when I caught myself habitually plucking the not-yet-bloomed hibiscus buds from a much disliked teacher's favorite plant, just to prevent her from enjoying their beauty. But I digress....

I really liked your piece here. It opened up some good reflection for me....

[emel.scott]

Thanks Joel and Judih and DP.

The first few lines still have me fooling around with them, I just feel they can be better.

It's always bugged me that my dad was a bit of a petty thief, small inconsequential stuff but a thief just the same. I sometimes think of him when I'm filching my Splenda and think larceny must be in my blood...but alas it is only artificial sweetener that attracts my sticky fingers.

Btw anyone know what the judge would give me if I got caught?...prolly send me up the river for 7 to 11