I'm so sorry

[Doreen Peri]

I'm so sorry that I haven't lately replied to all your verses,
offered accolades, discussed your various miseries and curses,
reveled in your joys and stated you are a delight,
or commented on how you offer lucid splendid light
with your incessant brilliant wisdom; all your keen insights!
It occurs to me that you just might think I'm being quite aloof
or giving you a slight dismiss, but this is not the truth.

Allow me to explain.
I'm becoming quite insane.

IN my head, or ON it (and I'm not quite sure exactly which),
the voices in my mind sing harmony in concert pitch,
my hair is falling out in clumps and wads
and God know whether this is truth or not.
I've decided I won't think of it a lot.

My mind is filled with unconscious drills, as well;
questions which I cannot answer,
nor which I'll allow myself to tell.

Suffice to say that hell consumes itself as easily as heaven
and various necessities can be purchased at 7-11 –
Like cat food, milk and batteries, and even empty flatteries
and episodes can quick combine to make a day confusing.
But I prefer to find it all amusing.

Insanity, I realize, is never an excuse.
But I thought I'd stop by to apologize
for lately being a recluse.

dp.11.12.10

[stilltrucking]

if that's insanity
then gimme some of that

[Steve Plonk]

Doreen, Hope you get some chemo that doesn't have such peculiar
side effects. I know that some chemo causes folks
hair to fall out. You might need to invest in wigs or you might have
a vitamin deficiency...Have you had your thyroid checked lately?

You're our buddy, and administrator of this site, and we care about you.

[jim turner]

Did it again! Typed a reply and forgot to punch "submit." Tried that "backpedal" thing but you can backpedal only so far. Anyhow, I said I felt you were talking to me personally and only to me, but I guess it was only to my ego. Anyhow, thanks and I wish you well. jim

[bappus]

I just joined this excellent hub today, so although I don't know you Doreen, I wish you well, and congratulations for running such an excellent arts forum.
Best wishes
Adam

[mnaz]

wow doreen. punches me right in the gut. I hope you're ok.

[Doreen Peri]

Thanks, you guys. I'm fine.

It was supposed to be sorta funny.... The reason I haven't been replying to your poetry is because I'm going insane.

LOL

I don't know .... but it was the best excuse I could think of ... and when I thought of it, it made me laugh so I wrote the poem.

I guess going insane could be considered a serious condition and therefore this could be read as a serious poem, but really, it's not.... it's just a lame fictitious excuse poem.

If I were really going insane, I wonder if I'd be typing poetry on the internet... hmmm...

Jim, yes, it was written especially to you... and to everyone else, also. For each poet who posts here. I don't think I've replied to much poetry here in a month or more.

Steve... .chemo stopped last august and i am currently doing well, health wise, other than the fact that I'm going insane. Hahahaha! *audience laughter cue*. Yeah I did and still am experience some hair loss but no balding or anything... just some thinning, and it will grow back with the next upcoming growth cycle according to my doctor. I was just using the hair image along with the singing voices in my head image, as a poetic image... a device to illustrate going insane as my lame excuse for not reading and replying to everyone's pieces lately. Thank you so much for your concern!

stilltrucking, I'm willing to share. Insanity for all, I say!

Honestly, I've always been a little wacky, come to think of it... but maybe nobody noticed.. .... and as the poem says, "I prefer to find it all amusing."

Thanks for reading and commenting, you guys! I owe you one. Or two. Or a few!

........

ps to bappus - Thank you very much! Glad you found your way here! Welcome.

[stilltrucking]

I know Doreen
I was speaking to the writing
Sorry if I sounded unsympathetic
I just liked the poem

[Doreen Peri]

Thanks, Jack... there's nothing to be sympathetic about. As I said, it was meant to be somewhat whimsical.... I'm glad you enjoyed the poem! Thank you!

[judih]

when pushed to a corner
we all lash out
some in whimsy, some in rhyme
some in unspeakable poetry grime

(which is a sign that i'm in for a killer day today and reacting in grimy rhyme)

[revolutionrabbit]

it's good to know you can get flatteries at 7 11
the cat food might work

[SmileGRL]

i didn't know you had (still have?) cancer doreen (now it's my turn to be shocked & concerned...shows how long i've been away)...but i'm glad you're doing well and i wish you good health. and ps. it's okay to not reply to everything. you're human and we get it and we love you for giving us a place to vent and socialize and share our poetry & art.

((hugs))
ya made me smile with your wacky attitude in this poem. loved it.

[joel]

Doreen--
consistent friend, cheer-filled cheerleader, gratious host,
gifted artist, "flower of the valley of the lower alley" and good friend--
I've never grown a cancer; I'll nevermore grow hair.
I've never grown in courage even when I grew a pair.
I fear the groan of cancer; I fear I'm never there
to share the groan of courage in which I'd wish to share.
I'll pray the groan of someone, who wordless, like the air,
has grown for you the well-fare of a groan of holy prayer.
And I wish I were insane if you're its definition,
to walk the way you've flowered if your heart's your way's fruition.
Peace and thanks and thanks and peace!

[Doreen Peri]

Thank you all for your kind comments and poetry...

Flattery purchased at 7-11 is valueless..... your comments are worth millions.

And no, to all, I don't have cancer. I was being treated with a different type of chemo tx for another condition. I'm doing better now. Much better!

Now, I just need to find a job. Joel, say a prayer for me, OK? Light a candle, too. Do you light candles in church for crazy unemployed women? Maybe the candlelight will send me some "aha" light revelation as to what to do next.

Joel, and btw.. here's your birthday card thread
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=19598
Hope it was a great birthday! I loved the poem. thanks



Sending good thoughts your way and thanks for the good thoughts you send my way. I appreciate it.

This was just a weak little piece of fluff, apologizing for not reading all your posted works and replying to them.

Keep on posting. Thanks for being here and for your fine writings and talents! I'm honored all of you have chosen to be part of Studio8.

Believe me, even though I haven't replied much lately, I do read your poetry quite often... and you all and this site is a huge highlight of my life.

[SmileGRL]

i'm sighing a huge sigh of relief here miss dorie. so glad that it's not the big C. although i've seen people heal 100% (like my mother did. she's been cancer free for over ten years now), it's the kind of illness that places dread in the hearts of everyone. so yes, i'm relieved.

this is me, smiling and hoping you find work

and this is me blowing you a kiss ~~~~*