Dream

[still.trucking]

another lost dream last night
I was trying to find a little coffee shop
I got side tracked by the parade
gave away my last bagel
and when I asked people for directions back to Harrison Blvd they were all very helpful but unfortunately they were all speaking Chinese.

Pretty good dream, the most hopeful lost dream I have had yet.

You know what I miss
that mopey dopey feeling of puppy love
the first time I gave my heart away

that sense of loss that follows the thrill
cathexis?
[Greek kathexis]

[SadLuckDame]

LOL, if you do study the language some day, it may be just what you needed to know on waking this a.m.

[SadLuckDame]

Dreamt a few nights ago of a painting I needed to search out within this huge building, the building was heated in an interesting way and I was amused with the antique look of it's 'heat', very old structures, must have been a historic museum, by the looks of what I'd retained on waking.

Anyway, so many rooms to hunt the painting within, and the collections for my perusing, what a treat. The painting I was to find was of a white, fiendish rabbit. The background and he, were all white, but he was outlined in a thick black painted line. The only color layered under foot, underground, which seemed a colorful Autumn, as if an array of painted bright leaves of many Autumn colors laid under the layer he stood upon. I found him/it intriguing.

On my discovering where he mayhaps be hiding within that large historical building, it was an adventure of the senses, really very sweet, a great entertainment in each room, a room filled in fish tanks with white, swimming angel fish, a room of painted women portraits with a variety of facial expressions, but noted all were alone, none painted with companions and a room of tastes, with foods from strange areas I'd never before heard of, nor tasted, all were really displayed beautiful and interesting on my palette.

Lots to this, but I did find the portrait in a room for finger-painting. A little thrill to discover it had been a simple method, but came with such unexpected detail. I'd had preconceived ideas on finger-painting, I discovered upon waking, really it looked expensive, an expensive portrait of a rabbit, finger-painted. P

More dreaming to announce later.

[SadLuckDame]

The dream to follow it was more a saddened event, it did engage my interest very much, but it didn't have a turn out I'd prefer, I just don't handle sad news without a positive opportunity to heal it back up. I handle sad, if there's plenty of scenario for 'health' to follow. But, in this dream I didn't find the heal.

I shape-shifted into a creature in order to interact with a small, soft fox, he was very snowy and once shape-shifted and interacting with him I found him intellectual in an entertaining sort of way, he kept my interest and we began a friendship on the spot, like two soul friends would on first introduction.

We were spending an afternoon, I, giggling unexpectedly at his antics, until a fear creeped upon me, a sense of danger, and there to arrive were familiar family members. At first they hadn't spotted him and I, but an internal menace warned me they were to look behind them soon and we'd be discovered, or more so the worry he was to be.

A family member child turned back, and instinctual his primitive nature came out from within him. I felt a sense of hopelessness to protect my fox friend, for I was in shape-shift form and unable to make use of my human abilities to protect him from their human ability to harm, human the great predator, I found faced with that from the smallest human in the group of family to stir before us and none had recognized me in the form I'd taken on.

The child destroyed my snowy fox companion and I saw the dark blood mix around his fur collar, I felt trapped as if trapped in a dream when I want to scream out, but I open my mouth and nothing to my horror escapes. I could not save him no matter my want to.

[stilltrucking]

Another lost dream the other night. Woke up with a sense of dread and insight as to what it was about.
Yes I am afraid of death. No not death, but dying And yet that seems to be what I am looking for. A way out. Funny how the road runs through so many of my dreams, trucks and the road. I wish I had more dreams about boats and the sea. Going to the beach today.

Lightning Over Water
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVetRT4hNuA

I thank you for sharing your dreams with me.

[SadLuckDame]

Hoping the water was divine,
it's nice to see ya back, Jack.

Any time you want them, might be stuffs in mine to help you with yours, you know me, if it helps the feeling a sense of being lost out there. I'll keep a window open.

[stilltrucking]

Another lost dream last night. A nightmare about an article I read in Harper's Magazine. The article was about a chuch in Colorado Springs. In my dream I was in the church and people filled me with such dread I decided to leave. I was trying to get out but I could not find an exit from the church, I wound up in a small enclosure and had a panic attack brought on by my latent claustrophobia. I woke up thinking about coffins.



Your dreams so interesting to me.

Maybe they are helpful too but most of all they are interesting and satisfying to read. You are a poet of dreams.

[stilltrucking]

In my dreams I think that I see my chindi wandering the earth after my death. What is in store for me. Limbo? No Exit What was that play about? I will have to Google that

My dreams are cheap entertainment, like i am making my own movie.

[stilltrucking]

As terrifying as ''No Exit'' may be for them, we the living know that change is always possible. The character is not finished, Sartre tells us, until his or her final choice is made.


http://theater.nytimes.com/mem/theater/ ... A96F948260

[SadLuckDame]

Just watched Beauty and the Beast yesterday, hadn't seen it in prolly close to ten years. One scene he took Belle into the Library and said, "This is yours." I got all teary eyed. What a gift to give stories, to open a door and there behind it is so much to travel. Was one of the best gifts I ever got, too.

Gonna google it and take a look-see.

[stilltrucking]

I was going to delete the post above, or edit it a lot. Not sure if chindi is the right word for my soul. I have read that only very young children and old people who live a long good life do not leave a chindi when they die.

I watched Mr Holland's Opus last week, that one got my eyes wet.

I got cable tv at this motel, I been watching too many movies I got eye strain. I watched Cabin in the Sky which was a great movie. This song was supposed to be in it but it was cut because it was so irreverent.

My brother turned 77 this year, I do not believe he would leave a chindi behind. He is such a good man. I on the other hand will leave a bad one I think, if the Navajo's are right.

All I can do is quote an old country song
"Lord help me Jesus, I know what I am"

"I wasted it so"

[SadLuckDame]

I loved the song, and life is about living, too much emphasis on the sins and rarely on the heart, I just want to live with heart. I make a lot of messes, but it doesn't matter like I'd thought.

Just be you and there ya go, life.

[SadLuckDame]

Just checking google on it, went to wiki and wondering if you're worried about the state you're in or more so the history of it.
I'd heal ya up if I could, I've the want to, I just don't know if I've the advantage enough or not.

[jackofnightmares]

Speaking of heat, watched some of a Marilyn Monroe movie tonight. The prince and the showgirl I think. Ah geez Marilyn, I could have loved you better.

Another nightmare, lost again, but I knew where I was, at a bus stop on Connecticut Avenue in DC trying to get home to Baltimore but I could not remember where my home was. Trying to get home, in my dreams, I can't shake this homeless feeling, the metafiscal homelessness blues again.

Thinking about a book I read when I was homeless back in the seventies hitching around carrying a copy of Look Homeward Angel like a Bible
.

“Yet, as he stood for the last time by the angels of his father’s porch, it seemed as if the Square already were far and lost; or, I should say, he was like a man who stands upon a hill above the town he has left, yet does not say “The town is near,” but turns his eyes upon the distant soaring ranges.

[SadLuckDame]

Last night's of interest.
One was about being in a large futuristic city, similar to cities now, but with a few traffic improvements.

Anyway, there was a lot of city scenery, really nice panoramic views.
My daughter decided to run ahead and she took this moving rail. I thought about hanging back, it looked scary to me cause it went up and took a height that looked uncomfortable, but I just couldn't let her go it alone, finally I hopped on the moving rail too. We went up, she was a few people ahead of me, then it dropped down into this closed room, closed space, like a basement down there with mice.

The idea of the moving rail was you went up, then down to that space, then it was supposed to take ya up out of it, but it got complicated, the works were broken
it wasn't working as it was put together to work and people who went down were starting to panic, like as if they were stuck within a dried up well.

The mechanics to get us up out was three clear blown up balls. One was 'Science', one was 'Math' and I don't know what the third was. Science and Math (balloon balls) were to revolve around each other and with the movement it was to jog us up to a high rail. Science and Math (balloon balls) were losing 'air' and beginning to deflate, without enough air they were not revolving to lift anyone up.

I told my daughter to let us innovate. I took the third balloon ball and used it to prop up on top of a corner, a small corner up and we managed to climb a top the ball before gravity dropped it. We had just enough time to get on it and grab the rail higher up.

As soon as we did, I noticed the issue of the deflating balls. There was broken beer bottles. One piece of the broken bottle zipped a hole in the ball we used and it began to deflate too, as the other two had.

As we were climbing up out, I was thinking of how those other people might get out. I was picturing them needing to cut the sections of rail to form a ladder and attach it with pieces of metal. I really wished I had stayed down there to help them make a ladder out.