time

[still.trucking]

A song came back into my life this morning

The Believer a Bob Carpenter song covered by Billy Joe Shaver. I heard it over thirty years. But I have never been able to find it again. The line that stuck in my mind but which I have heard wrong all these years

"my dearest friends are total strangers
they wish me freedom and self destruction"

the actual lines are

"my dearest friends are total strangers
I call them heroes they call me lonely
I wish them wisdom and self destruction
hope someday they'll come to know me"

[creativesoul]

some time just after i burned the pop tarts
photos came to me
of a time when i rollar skated venice beach
with a red long stemed rose

the song remains the same
my friends know me better than i know myself
a tattered street child of new orleans
after a childhood in hollywood
my father had to live and let die
drinking whiskey and rye
the minor bird in baton rouge that asked me
if i took a bath
all of these moments
are now the grapes of wrath
burnt cinamon pop tarts arent so bad
my dog likes them too

[zero_hero]

Go man go
that is some good stuff you writing down there

sounds so good when I read it
got a beat or rhythm or something that makes it flow

[creativesoul]

i was married to a drummer
we were talking 32 years later
laughing
i told him once you been with a drummer
no one else can keep time
like that
only he kept time like that
eighth notes written and tapped gently into my soul
as a seveteen year old
every word he said was good,
true, and filled with love
i was crazy
he loved me all this time
used to give up my life on a dime
not this time
sugar bear
this time
has made me very aware

[still.trucking]

i never could keep time

[SadLuckDame]

But, this time...
hello, trucker
second vision while on the road
trip it in next to the line
looks good to me
and I wasn't driving.

Just telling ya to sleep well, u.
Talk to ya in a whiles.

[gypsyjoker]

road vision from silent woman's abortion the winter of 1973
till now pretty much

my friends in the valley of Virginia call me gypsyboy

I got a road vision too dame
just come to me in a flash
I am going to go back on the road
it is as close a thing to home as I know

all I got to do is pass a DOT physical.
and have faith in my fission
ah vision

yeah trip on in dame
I would like to see it

[creativesoul]

now i want it now i need it really i need it.... it feels like abandonment, it feels like an empty hole, that place i lived without soul
i wanted needed believed transformed became lost.... laughed my way out of a corner i guess, ran away from my mistakes
the street lamps in the early dawn along the hudson river in new york city is where i first realized how dim i allowed my light to become...
building a life from the streets
just gives me the creeps
how many women still are unaware of these places
soft cushions on couches, china arranged so well, and she stared blankly and asked carefully"why do i need so many forks?"the man smiled, but now the secret was out- she was vulnerable. the predator needs only a hint of seasoning.
i knew i was swimming upstream treading water.... that i would always be...
but somehow that let me be free...i went to the tree, and i need to go back... there is no one else that can pick up the slack..tick tock unlock what i hold so dear
take away all this fear
i can do this i can i can
whenever i understand
i feel like someone is holding my hand

[SadLuckDame]

I plan to, Jack.
I likes the travel, it's good on my complication.

[creativesoul]

i do not get it jack

[creativesoul]

he was sometimes my son, others my father,
other times the italian came in with armani and suits and briefcases
like his father
the lines seemed to miss sometimes
she could see him
the only thing she did not want
was for her to see him
the eye of the mother is a hurricane
the electric is next
like a bill gone unpaid
the lights are
in the wind tonite i knew
that even now
i have done everything i can do
love that comes thru you
never leaves you
thats what i think sometimes
i have all that
but what
amending my behavior is the best i can do
always i have known, that my best was never going to be good enough
i took the lowly postion
but my sons saw something i cannot explain
now with nuclear reactions on our crusted planet
seems less romantic than hamlet
tired of la disaster movies and horror
everytime i come home to here again
i know my sons can feel it-perception is so tricky in this light
no reason to fight=
with all my might i wish we could stop whatever it is.... this madness
war in libya?
total insanity

[stilltrucking]

long time no reply Kari sorry

cut and pasting from Camus.

I only know of one duty and that is to love. I say no to all the rest. I say no with all my strength...

I do not wish to be happy at present, just to be aware...

Should I go on this way, I would certainly end up by dying happy...

Quotes taken from this article.

PHENOMENOLOGY
OF LIFE
FROM THE ANIMAL SOUL
TO THE HUMAN MIND
BOOK II
The Human Soul in the Creative
Transformation of the Mind

http://www.springerlink.com/content/978 ... 2&locus=70

[creativesoul]

perhaps a more eloquent response could not have been provoked by such stories that roll like a massage down the muslcles of your heart- loving hard-

[stilltrucking]

Sorry I take so long to reply sometimes. I just stumbled on this one while I was posting something to mingo.

I loose track my posts, and I have made it even harder because I use so many user names. judih and doreen tried to tell me that but I did not listen.

I missed about thirty years of fucking, I built my defenses so strong and high that no woman could ever touch me.

Yeah I missed a lot of sex.
Oh well, there must be something like a male menopause because I don't give a fuck anymore.

I very grateful for my women cyber pals, they keep be going
so soothing for me to realize women have their own destiny and only part of that has to do with men.

A liberating thought for me

In the meantime

thank you for being a pen pal