LOOSE CHANGE.

Post your poetry, any style.
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dadio
Posts: 4652
Joined: December 10th, 2010, 1:20 pm

LOOSE CHANGE.

Post by dadio » September 2nd, 2011, 4:27 am

She counts each of his words
Like loose change. She holds them
In the palm of her hand and weighs
Their value. So many lies and valueless
Comments spoken. She wonders how
Many other women he had ripped off
With his words and false promises. She
Imagines him in bed with some other
Woman making love and spewing out
His words like vomit, while lying back
Next to her smoking a cigarette and
Watching the smoke lift to the ceiling
Of some unfamiliar room. He fucked
Well, but his words never lived up to
The promises made. She tries to empty
Her palms and her heart of his empty
Comments and words, to release them
Like dark unfriendly predatory birds.
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theirishsea
Posts: 630
Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:09 am

Re: LOOSE CHANGE.

Post by theirishsea » September 2nd, 2011, 8:33 am

The simplicity and clarity of your poems are two of the virtues that I admire in your work. Your use of metaphors is never pretentious and it seems so natural, so true----yes, I say to myself---a great metaphor. Both the loose change and the unfriendly predatory birds are perfect here.

Another 5 star poem here.
The Irish Sea Is Always In Turmoil, Even When Calm.

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dadio
Posts: 4652
Joined: December 10th, 2010, 1:20 pm

Re: LOOSE CHANGE.

Post by dadio » September 2nd, 2011, 1:54 pm

Thank you for reading & commenting.

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