jesus was an ass-kicker

[mnaz]

yet another jesus pome... pome?... more like fried lyrics . . .

now jesus went on tv
and had his game face on
said we'll help iraqis
by dropping a few bombs
we are our brother's keeper
in boots with m-16's
blessed are the shit rakers
and kick the other cheek

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a lean, mean war machine
kick 'em right in the ass
just like steve mcqueen

now jesus lived on wall street
and promoted all their scams
he preached the word of greed
foreclosed on the poor saps
said "let's sell off the temple
and steal the pension funds"
and when they look the other way
you cannot call it fraud

yes, jesus was an ass-kicker
a slimy hedge fund thief
he stole your 401k
bought a new ferrar-i

feel free to add a verse . . . or not . . .

[Kailashana]

"And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind."

2nd stanza of *Suzanne* ~ Leonard Cohen


"

[mnaz]

excellent... thanks.

i posted this on another site, and someone said, "he was killed as an insurgent" (by rome).

and in a sense we've become the new rome . . . no need to kill him, only ignore him...

[saw]

Jesus was a bowler
he took on Lebowski's team
he licked his 16 pound ball
for good luck, he invoked
his namesake and delivered his shot
into the one-three pocket
and pins vanished into the pit
like liked a stained Eucharist
in search of a new alley

[stilltrucking]

Good poem. I think Jesus would like it a lot.

I don't have verse just a song

[mnaz]

haha, nice one steve...
awesome clip, jack. yeah, that's exactly it.

think about the "christian evangelicals" who from time to time have made inroads on the airwaves in the last 40-50 or so years, since the movement began to take off (and especially recently)-- the religious folks trying to infiltrate / hijack our politics . . . . war-mongering, greed-mongering and passing severe judgment on others all too often--- not what jesus taught on all counts . . .

[saw]

nice music clip, truck......when I used to carry mail, on the same route for 23 years .....it was always the folks that really had nothing, that were handing me a check in an envelope to be mailed off to one or more televangelists......they're gifts were real sacrifices from their budgets.....all of them, had little education which I'm sure factored in, had few possessions, and did nothing but watch television......sometimes the poor, the invalids, the folks without education and marketable skills, become virtual slaves to the TV......and it's the TV, where
all truth comes from......it's sad, but it also may be merciful in a distorted way....

[mnaz]

yeah, it's hard to figure. i remember the poorest folks always tipped the best when i delivered pizzas . . .

i had to kill my tv. finally did it. well actually, someone ripped it off, and i just never replaced it... good move.

[mnaz]

okay, a couple more . . .

now jesus gave a sermon
down at the megachurch
he said let's worship mammon
and profits will come first !
let's kill the social safety net
and crush the union schmucks
the poor should all get jobs
those no-good lazy bums

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a big ol' corporate goon
stand up for your labor rights
he'll knock ya into noon

now jesus was a crony
and lobbied day and night
shoved wheelbarrows of cash
to the left and to the right
let's drop the tax on exxon
g.e. and lockheed-martin
and watch the quarter profits
shoot high into the billions

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a raving corporate schill
got high friends on k street
up on capitol hill

[Steve Plonk]

Mnaz, et al, great satire...I got a few belly laughs & even pained expressions
from this series of poetic stanzas.

[mnaz]

okay, final version . . . (for now):

"jesus, the ass-kicker (absurd frontiers)"

now jesus grabbed his rifle
there's trouble in the town
some guys in dark black hats
and somethin's goin' down
now jesus called them out
long face and double chin
said "i don't want no trouble"
just before he stirred up shit

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
and fought the evil band
manifest, his destiny
with an iron hand

now jesus went on tv
and had his game face on
said we'll help iraqis
by dropping a few bombs
we are our brother's keeper
in boots with m-16's
blessed are the shit rakers
and kick the other cheek

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a lean, mean war machine
kick 'em right in the ass
just like steve mcqueen

now jesus lived on wall street
and promoted all their scams
he preached the word of greed
foreclosed on the poor saps
said "let's sell off the temple
and steal the pension funds"
when they look the other way
you cannot call it fraud

yes, jesus was an ass-kicker
a slimy hedge fund thief
he stole your 401k
bought a new ferrar-i

now jesus gave a sermon
down at the megachurch
he said let's worship mammon
and profits will come first
kill off the social programs
and crush the union schmucks
the poor should all get jobs
those no-good lazy bums

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a big ol' corporate goon
stand up for your labor rights
he'll knock ya into noon

now jesus was a crony
and lobbied day and night
shoved wheelbarrows of cash
to the left and to the right
let's drop the tax on exxon
g.e. and lockheed-martin
and watch the quarter profits
shoot high into the billions

oh jesus was an ass-kicker
a raving corporate schill
got high friends on k street
up on capitol hill...