FAT DAMES LOVE. ( STRONG LANGUAGE)

[creativesoul]

i can be transformed by cheese and bread into a fat girl- sadness will bring on apathy-
but after a journey into that place- i find my muscles returning- circulation soaring thru me- and the shit melts right off- once in bezerkly california- a whole bunch of older lesbian women took me to a women s bookstore- there was a 'butchie' calnedar- and in it it said that women eat potatoes and make themselves fat to protect themselves--i was like 17 and the world was before me- i thought - why would anyone want to do that?
i have not deformed myself in quite sometime due to love or some other tragic tale- no search and destroy siren is ringing in my head- so my body is being kind to me- fat- is like apathy- it is like a laying down and taking it- it is a defense- - today i am thin and beautiful- but there was a time- when fat- welded my thighs together or had me begging for love-it was never fat that changed me- it was the way i felt-===that changed

[dadio]

Insightful, creativesoul

[creativesoul]

yes it is a rather grande moment- clarity-

[dadio]

Sure is.

[creativesoul]

fat- is swelling- it is bloated- it is cause for changes- if there are dents in your skin- you have waited too long- it will take a work out of two years twice a week- to smooth that shit out-change your diet-
tofu- i know you are not chinese- but the heart must beat-with out heart- rolling it in flour looking for the wet spot was a common line around drunks that call women broads and sluts = the kind of man that has pictures of the children he has at home- but every time you see him- he is out and about- in the bar-
it is a symbol of unhappiness- why dont you have the energy to walk around the block- what is preventing you from attending a yoga class or a seminar on how to be motivated?
is love a booty call? is your solitude your only friend?
i know so many people that just plant it in a chair and eat popcorn and sugar free pies while watching dancing with the stars......
seriously---
fat- is fear- is gluttony = is sadness- it is lack of social skills- and finally a potential metabolic disorder--- but i bet it is really all about cheese and meat and dreams of 'white picket fences' that really- are never going to happen- coffee machines that are stained - and kitchens left unruly and dirty- in favor of a lazy approach- resturants-
if i eat what they serve- i will be sick- so i do not- but the relationship- to your food and to your body- are all about the preperation- the cycle- the self- nurturing-
when i 'settled for less' i got chunky- i stuffed emotiions- i ate when i was horny- i cried - i was all screwed up- because he was not a 'kind' man- and that stuff gets internalized-
so fat- is much more than physical-
i am finally at the weight i want to be at-but i had to deal with my fat attitude to get unfat

[dadio]

My first wife( died of cancer, after we divorced) could be fat and then thin, but it seemed to have little to do with what she ate...But usually it is within the hands(and mind) of the person to be as they are.

[creativesoul]

True dadio

[dadio]

I like the Lucien Freud artwork. It inspired the poem

[creativesoul]

certainly these shores have crossed you before-
the poetry
the gallant
the galore
it is you--
open the door
so slightly
rolling down
his cheek
was a leak
water came out
like small singular drops
he looked at you and smiled
he said
i love you papa

[dadio]