warm and fuzzy demons

[tarbaby]

I am pursued by
non threatening
life threatening monsters

[myrna minkoff]

paranoia

[stilltrucking]

just mundane garden variety anxieties, dreams about car accidents, dreams about arguments with friends. While in the real world in real time, world time objective time, well who has time enough for that, who has time for experience

[stilltrucking]

soap bubbles of reality
pop
slippery silicon carbon words
did I say something about Heidegger somewhere some time
time and being

oh yes, "little pitchers have big ears, never stop to count the years"

[zero_hero]

missing post about inauthentic/authentic, I probably forgot to save it.

How long have I been . . .
time to call it a night

[silent woman]

back to work again
I will never flow like poe
maybe I can meander
i i i i i i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
don't cogito ergo
I don't have a clue
just one thing I can believe in, hang on to
"believing this livin is a hard way to go"
even a poster of an old rodeo


music
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=66&t=24958

[stilltrucking]

"His attempt to translate all psychological phenomena into sexual terms, and to see all problems of adult personality as the effect of childhood sexual fixations also stemmed, in part, from his own background in medicine, and from the approach to causation implicit in the scientific thought of his time. He had the same diffidence about dealing with psychological phenomena in their own terms which often plagues scientists of human behaviour. Something that could be described in physiological terms, linked to an organ of anatomy, seemed more comfortable, solid, real, scientific, as he moved into the unexplored country of the unconscious mind. As his biographer, Ernest Jones, put it, he made a ‘desperate effort to cling to the safety of cerebral anatomy’. Actually, he had the ability to see and describe psychological phenomena so vividly that whether his concepts were given names borrowed from physiology, philosophy, or literature – penis envy, ego, Oedipus complex – they seemed to have a concrete physical reality. Psychological facts, as Jones said, were ‘as real and concrete to him as metals are to a metallurgist’. This ability became a source of great confusion as his concepts were passed down by lesser thinkers."

The fact is that to Freud, even more than to the magazine editor on Madison Avenue today, women were a strange, inferior, less-than-human species. He saw them as childlike dolls, who existed in terms only of man’s love, to love man and serve his needs. It was the same kind of unconscious solipsism that made man for many centuries see the sun only as a bright object that revolved around the earth. Freud grew up with this attitude built in by his culture – not only the culture of Victorian Europe, but that Jewish culture in which men said the daily prayer: ‘I thank Thee, Lord, that Thou hast not created me a woman,’ and women prayed in submission: ‘I thank Thee, Lord, that Thou has created me according to Thy will.’

Freud was also interested in another type of woman, of a more intellectual and perhaps masculine cast. Such women several times played a part in his life, accessory to his men friends though of a finer calibre, but they had no erotic attraction for him.

These women included his sister-in-law, Minna Bernays, much more intelligent and independent than Martha, and later women analysts or adherents of the psychoanalytic movement: Marie Bonaparte, Joan Riviere, Lou Andreas-Salomé. There is no suspicion, however, from either idolators or hostile biographers that he ever sought sexual satisfaction outside his marriage. Thus it would seem that sex was completely divorced from his human passions, which he expressed throughout the productive later years of his long life in his thought and, to a lesser extent, in friendships with men and those women he considered his equals, and thus ‘masculine’. He once said: ‘I always find it uncanny when I can’t understand someone in terms of myself.’

http://www.marxists.org/reference/subje ... riedan.htm

[stilltrucking]

A man of about thirty seems a youthful, and, in a sense, an incompletely developed individual, of whom we expect that he will be able to make good use of the possibilities of development, which analysis lays open to him. But a woman of about the same age, frequently staggers us by her psychological rigidity and unchangeability.... There are no paths open to her for further development; it is as though the whole process had been gone through and remained unaccessible to influence for the future; as though, in fact, the difficult development which leads to femininity had exhausted all the possibilities of the individual ... even when we are successful in removing the sufferings by solving her neurotic conflict.

DEAR AMY: I’ve been best friends with “Molly” since we were children. We’re now in our early 20s. We’ve been very close and have always shared our ups and downs.

She has suffered from an eating disorder for a few years now. She’s received help, but her life seems to be a roller coaster. I’ve tried being there for her, but she has a tendency to shut down and block me out. She has ditched me at the last minute on many occasions (my birthday, holidays and many other times) without any notice. Then she ignores me for a few weeks or a few months. This hurts me. I don’t have many friends, and I worry about her.

When she finally communicates with me, she says she’s “just been having a rough time lately,” but she will post pictures on Facebook of her activities during these times, and I see that she seems to be busy with other friends.

This friendship is held up only by me, and I think I’ve had enough. She hasn’t talked to me for over a month now. I deleted her off Facebook because I got annoyed seeing her interacting with all of her other friends, except for me.

Should I communicate my feelings or leave her wondering? That’s how she always treats me, so maybe I should show her what it feels like. -- Angry

DEAR ANGRY: If your friend suffers from anxiety or depression, this would compel her to pull away periodically, and it would be a mistake for you to take it personally.

However, given the fact that this relationship is depleting you, you should — finally — act only on your own behalf and not attempt to manipulate Molly.

If you try to make her wonder about you, I guarantee that she will not wonder about you. If you try to retaliate in some way, this negative energy will only bounce back and hit you in the gut, because she may lack the capacity to notice.

If it would make you feel better to express your disappointment in her, then do it. If it would make you feel better to simply fade away, then definitely do that.

[silent woman]

What was he really reporting? If one interprets ‘penis envy’ as other Freudian concepts have been reinterpreted, in the light of our new knowledge that what Freud believed to be biological was often a cultural reaction, one sees simply that Victorian culture gave women many reasons to envy men: the same conditions, in fact, that the feminists fought against. If a woman who was denied the freedom, the status, and the pleasures that men enjoyed wished secretly that she could have these things, in the shorthand of the dream, she might wish herself a man and see herself with that one thing which made men unequivocally different – the penis. She would, of course, have to learn to keep her envy, her anger, hidden: to play the child, the doll, the toy, for her destiny depended on charming man. But underneath, it might still fester, sickening her for love. If she secretly despised herself, and envied man for all she was not, she might go through the motions of love, or even feel a slavish adoration, but would she be capable of free and joyous love? You cannot explain away woman’s envy of man, or her contempt for herself, as mere refusal to accept her sexual deformity, unless you think that a woman, by nature, is a being inferior to man. Then, of course, her wish to be equal is neurotic.

[myrna minkoff]

Freud saw women only in terms of their sexual relationship with men. But in all those women in whom he saw sexual problems there must have been very severe problems of blocked growth, growth short of full human identity – an immature, incomplete self. Society as it was then, by explicit denial of education and independence, prevented women from realising their full potential, or from attaining those interests and ideals that might have stimulated their growth. Freud reported these deficiencies, but could only explain them as the toll of ‘penis envy’. He saw that women who secretly hungered to be man’s equal would not enjoy being his object; and in this, he seemed to be describing a fact. But when he dismissed woman’s yearning for equality as ‘penis envy’, was he not merely stating his own view that women could never really be man’s equal, any more than she could wear his penis?

[stilltrucking]

If an effective remedy for (and proof against?) solipsism can be found, it is in practice, and one remedy is in friendship itself. Kant suggests that friendship provides escape from solipsism. He describes the man without a friend as if he were the Cartesian metlitator. The man without a friend is the man who is all alone, who “must shut himself up in himself," who must remain “completely alone with his thoughts as in a prison.” Kant says that friendship provides release from the “prison” of the self, and that we have aduty “not to isolate ourselves," but to seek release from that prison by seek-ing out friendship.13 Kant says, in short, that we have a moral duty to escape solipsis

ibid

[stilltrucking]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_sacer

Adj. 1. tautological - repetition of same sense in different words; "`a true fact' and `a free gift' are pleonastic expressions"; "the phrase `a beginner who has just started' is tautological"; "at the risk of being redundant I return to my original proposition"- J.B.Conant
pleonastic, tautologic, redundant
prolix - tediously prolonged or tending to speak or write at great length; "editing a prolix manuscript"; "a prolix lecturer telling you more than you want to know"

Of course, the standard feminist question to ask here is: is this erasure of the bodily attachment gender neutral, or is it secretly gendered, so that sexual difference does not concern only the actual enacted body behind the screen, but also the different relationship between the levels of representation and enactment? Is the masculine subject in its very notion disembodied, while the feminine subject maintains the umbilical cord to its embodiment? In “The Curves of the Needle,” a short essay on gramophone from 1928. [16] Adorno notes the fundamental paradox of recording: the more the machine makes its presence known (through obtrusive noises, its clumsiness and interruptions), the stronger the experience of the actual presence of the singer – or, to put it the other way round, the more perfect the recording, the more faithfully the machine reproduces a human voice, the more humanity is removed, the stronger the effect that we are dealing with something “inauthentic”. [17] This perception is to be linked to Adorno’s famous “antifeminist” remark according to which a woman’s voice cannot be properly recorded, since it demands the presence of her body, in contrast to a man’s voice which can exert its full power as disembodied – do we not encounter here a clear case of the ideological notion of sexual difference in which man is a disembodied Spirit-Subject, while woman remains anchored in her body? However, these statements are to be read against the background of Adorno’s notion of feminine hysteria as the protest of subjectivity against reification: the hysterical subject is essentially in-between, no longer fully identified to her body, not yet ready to assume the position of the disembodied speaker (or, with regard to mechanical reproduction: no longer the direct presence of the “living voice,” not yet its perfect mechanical reproduction). Subjectivity is not the immediate living self-presence we attain when we shed away the distorting mechanical reproduction; it is rather that remainder of “authenticity” whose traces we can discern in an imperfect mechanical reproduction. In short, the subject is something that “will have been” in its imperfect representation. Adorno’s thesis that a woman’s voice cannot be properly recorded, since it demands the presence of her body, thus effectively asserts feminine hysteria (and not the disembodied male voice) as the original dimension of subjectivity: in woman’s voice, the painful process of disembodiment continues to reverberate, its traces are not yet obliterated. In Kierkegaard’s terms, sexual difference is the difference between “being” and “becoming”: man and woman are both disembodied; however, while a man directly assumes disembodiment as an achieved state, feminine subjectivity stands for the disembodiment “in becoming.” [18]
Notes:

http://www.lacan.com/symptom/?page_id=247#_ftn1

[stilltrucking]

http://as-cascade.syr.edu/profiles/_pdf ... Demons.pdf

[myrna minkoff]

He describes the man without a friend as if he were the Cartesian][metlitator.]

http://web.mit.edu/langton/www/pubs/SexualSolipsism.pdf

Five Flat Rocks


"Pussies in Peril" or pricks in predickaments.
I love chick movies. Peckerheads are so boring.

Well I never been to spain...the ladies are insane

this land from the gulf stream waters

from astoria to baltimore
a trail of blood in the streets
my blood
but I never could bring myself to murder
but I spent some time
some long nights
with shot guns under my chin
and sneaking through windows
with murderous intent
to kill someone as he slept
part homicidal maniac
part coward
lord help me jesus I know who kris kris is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veBR0aH54M0

I have trucked with men who have done what I have only imagined in the heart of my darkest darkness. I felt at ease with them. As if they knew who I was. No pretenses.


If you can appease a man's conscience...

good men, salt of the earth
I felt honored to be in their presence.
in friendship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tA7E7pbUws

[stilltrucking]

near the end of my time/
no time for regrets/
or pretenses/
—_—
flat life/
in a text box/
i live for this
—_—
haiku vision/
what it is/
not to fool myself
—_—
Can I live without my illusions?/
mama don't take my Kodachrome/
hopeless romantic still
—_—
One more waltz across Texas./
I still hope for that/
Even at this late date..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ICuS7qfuYY