i will rub fish

Post your poetry, any style.
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the mingo
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i will rub fish

Post by the mingo » November 1st, 2013, 12:27 am

i will rub fish
until the satellites
are satisfied
until the vessels of wealth
come undisguised
as wolf zoos
until the lungs of manufacturing
come to rhyme on a rockbound coast
and the mills make nothing
except children -
Grandmother, I think I have it all sorted out,
the automobiles of autumn
have destined me
for the archeology of technology
to build a lament
to the first exchange
of a garden
for knowledge
& fucked everafter
without any available light
for an eternal image
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

mtmynd
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Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: i will rub fish

Post by mtmynd » November 1st, 2013, 1:49 am

a well expressed and necessary message for all, el mingo.
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Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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dadio
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by dadio » November 1st, 2013, 4:56 am

And Dante thought he had it done down. V.good

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the mingo
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by the mingo » November 2nd, 2013, 12:07 am

Thx my & Terry
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: i will rub fish

Post by mtmynd » November 3rd, 2013, 1:41 am

i keep reading this piece as if it's the first time and each time i nod in agreement with myself in saying something akin to "cool" but it's more than that and maybe that's why
i like reading it... perhaps this poem is a relative to your digital artworks that simply express themselves to those who choose to listen to the message they portray. but in the end i really have no need to know why i like this but am content to let it be.


thx, el mingo.
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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the mingo
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by the mingo » November 3rd, 2013, 9:32 am

Thx, Cec ... & you are right - I have always wanted to handle words the same way I handle paint - I don't care what they say as long as they speak - i don't care what they do as long as they go - you put some unexpected & surprising flavor in my coffee this morning - thank you 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

theirishsea
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Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:09 am

Re: i will rub fish

Post by theirishsea » November 3rd, 2013, 10:55 am

Interesting approach----I'll use the old word "surreal" but it is beyond that. The words hint at and do express a meaning, an attitude, a perception but in an original way. The images are given startling electricity by the unexpected combinations that you have written----probably just on inspiration and not any rational deliberation as such. It is the flow of creative energy here that communicates that entrances the readers.

I may do critical jargon above (which expresses my thoughts) but I like this fresh poem at gut level. It inspires me to attempt something kin to it, though probably not with the same rightness----because I think you had something to say---some basic perception/feeling that is communicated.
The Irish Sea Is Always In Turmoil, Even When Calm.

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the mingo
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by the mingo » November 3rd, 2013, 4:56 pm

Thx, irish - I poke words and prod images - see what jumps out - sometimes it's something & sometimes it's not - but it's the flow you spoke of that keeps me interested & gives it fun - and you're right, it's not only words and images or intention - a person's day-to-day experiences & moods bear on the mix too - I really enjoy when it surprises me - and this one did.
Thx again, Irish, glad you enjoyed
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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revolutionrabbit
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by revolutionrabbit » November 4th, 2013, 4:34 pm

Don't usually take out a line cuz I thought the whole poem does the trick

but..."the automobiles of autumn" wish I had come across that one.

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the mingo
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Re: i will rub fish

Post by the mingo » November 4th, 2013, 7:47 pm

Thx rev - happens to me too - 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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