Post
by creativesoul » January 19th, 2014, 10:08 am
COLD - is not something i am good at- i get pissed- even with the gear i have recently purchased= i feel pretty 'bound' in all those clothes- magnolia- i swear- it is none of my business what anyone else does-
but it has been proven that people are more peaceful in warmer climates-and happier- culture that left behind beautiful palaces and rode bulls for fun- they were not in conflict with anyone because they were warm, had eaten and swam and everything kind to the human body
ms winter is the harshest of all teachers- attendence is mandatory- and tardiness disapproved of-and the homework is endless-
she is stern and serious-long icy fingers-and one look has you concerned-- i have an electric heater that saves me- and a wood burning stove= and firewood-
but what keeps me warm is not all of those things-
it is the good that i know i have done- and the risk factor- going out on a limb and trusting another human being-
letting other people get to know me- see all parts of me- so really what is cold?
i know that as a young girl i slept in my car one night in a snowstorm -an got some frostbite in my hands and feet-and although i wish i could claim some real promise about how to deal with the harshness of the winter- but last night during a give away my elder said 'she heard i was complaining about the cold'
i was gifted a wolf hat- it is one of those kids kind= with lil animal ears-by a man that is her husband- he is dying-he brings his tanks to the birthday party and breathes like each one is his last- we have all been witness to his fire going out - SLOWLY-
blankets- i think are honorable- and beautiful- but i am never sure that is what is keeping me warm- i think it is breathe-
i am still alive-
and that is a gift-
i drink my coffee- it is still dark out- my friend that just had her foot repaired with nuts and bolts has been at our house forever-she wakes up talking- and yesterday with all my mother engines flaring- she started to do some emotional crap that is not tolerated by mothers like me- it is in the ears- it is like a bullshit censor- the shit we tell ourselves- the excuses forwhy we do what we do- and why we dont treat ourselves better-
i could hear the red flags and the excuses lining up at the school cafeteria- and i could stand it no more- i let her see the stepping stones and where her footprints were tracking in all the pebbles of things she had clung onto that no longer served her- but she used them to circle around the center like a tropical storm about to become a hurricane- let her know in no uncertain terms that much of her emotional stuff could in fact no longer drag her into the dirt- that she knew better and to 'quit it' -
she seemed better afterwards- but let me tell you- it is a strange thing- that mom radar- because they never really hid anything from me- because i found out anyways or had a feeling- this also decomposes the lies of love and marriage-
hot or cold my friend-
no rodent crossing on my bed
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---
