Robert And The Rabbit Pelt

[Sober Duck]

Robert And The Rabbit Pelt
By
Sober Duck
Robert and I grew up in the same neighborhood but rarely crossed paths until he became an adult. He was several years younger than I was and it seemed like an over night thing when we finally became friends. Good for me we became friends for Robert stood Six foot four and weighed in at three-hundred and fifty pounds. Another thing about Robert was, he would fight at the drop of a hat. He loved a good confrontation and rarely lost. So over time I learned to stay on his good side however there were times when I just had to get even. I knew I was no match for my rather large and sometimes unstable friend so I had to use different tactics when dealing with Rob. I had to become creative.
Have you ever heard of the elephant and the mouse? That was Rob. He could fight a bar room full of drunk sailors and not miss a lick but if something small and furry would enter the room Rob would crash through a wall to get away from it. So when Rob would rub me the wrong way I would break out a small piece of bunny fur and place in strategic places around so that Rob would be sure to stumble onto it. My favorite spot was the drink machine chute. I would stand quietly in the background and watch as Rob would put fifty cents into the machine, press his selection, bend over and reach into the chute expecting a can of soda only to grab a handful of fur. The hard part was not to break a smile or laugh out hysterically as he would run, stomp, slap at himself and lob fur and drink across the room. I had to play it cool and pretend not to know anything about it. It was quite entertaining to see how fast a three-hundred and fifty pound man can move!
That piece of fur sure got around for a while. Rubber gloves, lunch bags even rental uniform pockets. It didn’t matter how many times Rob would discard or destroy that piece of fur it seemed to reappear time and time again.
Haven’t seen Rob in a while but I still have a Rabbit pelt with his name on it, just in case.