doreen's latest poem--listen

[stilltrucking]

shock and awe
I always know when I am getting depressed
I start keeping to do lists
number one is alway wake up


it woke me up this morning, this computer going to help me make it through a long day, just play that over and over. when I don't feel ready.

[Doreen Peri]

hey still trucking

I deleted the post because i didn't like it what I heard when I listened to myself this morning.

It sounded like the last piece i recorded and the piece before that.

they all sound the same.

but thanks for listening anyway.

I just wanted to let you know why it's gone now.

speaking of shock and awe, we have a spoken word piece called "shock and awe" which clay and I do together... we recorded it the day the US attacked Iraq.

[stilltrucking]

god damn slippery silicon documents
jesus h christ I needed that sound. I expect a full refund. Yeah I just wiped out three months worth a work here. Tried to Norton Ghost a partition but cloned the drive by mistake.

Remember Levi's story of how he lost that manuscript to a novel and had to rewrite it from memory. The next one will better. Meanwhile

Doreen I am one of the fortunate few who got to listen to it. It started out like the firesign bit where the guy is testing the sound system (all bozos on this bus) Nobody likes to hear the word ephemeral. but I feel so lucky to have heard it. So you. beautiful, funny sad and happy and totaly free. but because i only heard it twice

[Doreen Peri]

thanks, jack!

it's probably in your browser history if you want to hear it again.... i just didn't like it.

I cut up some words and slopped it together 2 minutes before the red light went on.

it would have worked as a live performance, i guess, but didn't work for me as a recording .... but i did like the beginning the best, too, when i was saying "wait a minute! I'm not ready!"

i'm going to work on it and re-record it.

everything is ephemeral... now ya see it, now ya don't!

BUT when you record it, it's not all that ephemeral any more...

thank you for the funny sad happy totally free.... i'm happy you found all that in me

apologies for the deletion.. i was going to delete the whole thread, then i saw you replied to it, so i figured i'd explain

[stilltrucking]

spontaneous
ten four on the live
type it up and use it a live performance
call it sween serendipity
it is to real for reel to reel

I got one more fucking test to take for this new job and I ain't ready.
__________________________________________________
I just wrote this thing


I was looking for a place to put this I was thinking about haiku
but I don't know jack shit about haiku
this seems a good place. I got a voice and no discipline so haiku is out.

metafiscal blues
the wolfe at my door
faith healing

Yeah I don't need your stinking pills, than you very much.

Sexaul Demons
blood so sweet
she kneels

red blood on white jockey shorts
don't you hate it when that happens
spider bit

[Trevor]

Hey Dor,

I'm with Truck'n, I liked the piece a lot and the recording sounded good. The self is usually the hardest person to please so if you're not happy with it..... I liked the concept a lot and the word use was good too. Wish I had saved it so I could be more specific on what and why I thought it worked. Would make for an excellent performance piece. I tried writing a similar performance piece entitled, "Is this mic on?" in case I ever grew the walnuts to perform some work. Basically me fumbling and mumbling, explaining how nervous I was to be in front of people, a lot of stage direction such as water sips and paper shuffling, then eventually, without reading any "real work", just walk off the stage in false (or probably true) embarassment. But I could never get it to sound right, or a good flow, or perhaps I just have absolutely no acting chops, either way I never finished it....which is probably for the best since it most likely would have just come out really contrived.

Anyways, I enjoyed the short lived life of your spoken poem. Hopefully you'll get it to the place where you are comfy enough to share it again.

Trev

[Doreen Peri]

Hi Trevor.

You must have listened while I was sleeping. We put it up, then I went to bed and when I woke up and listened to it again, I hated it. I took two pieces and combined them... cut it up.... I put the darn thing together in about 5 minutes... something I do right before I go on stage to perform but I don't think it was really a good way to approach recording. I do like to improvise when I record or perform in public. I add stuff off the top of my head. Which is what I did this time, too. So, I can't ever really re-record that piece because it's not all written down anywhere. It's still up there on the server, I just removed the link. I'm thinking of writing another piece by the same name and replacing it once I record the new one. The problem with this one is that either one of those pieces would have worked separately, I think, but they didn't work well, to my ear, cut up together like that. One was a rhyming piece. Another was not. I thought, at first, that inserting the rhymed stanzas in between the free verse stanzas would work well .... like a chorus or something... but I was disappointed in it.

But I do thank you for listening and for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it. In the end, though, we are our own harshest critics. I'm pretty bold.... I put a lot of stuff on the internet which probably many raise their eyebrows at and think is pretty bad, but as long as I like it, I'm ok with it.

I recorded Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer" a couple of years ago and got an email from someone or maybe it was a post to my guestbook... the person told me flat out that it sucked. LOL! I think I told you about that.

Oh well. heh

[Doreen Peri]

Oh... and Trevor.... that sounds like a great piece you created! "Is this mic on?" I might steal that.

"Good writers borrow. Great writers steal." - TS Eliot

*wink*

[Trevor]

Hiya Doreen,

"We put it up, then I went to bed and when I woke up and listened to it again, I hated it. "

lol...don't know how many times I've done that with some writing...what's even worse though, writing while drinking and reading it the next day sober....ohhhh the stink I have created would put the septic holder at Lolapolooza to shame..lol

"So, I can't ever really re-record that piece because it's not all written down anywhere. It's still up there on the server, I just removed the link. I'm thinking of writing another piece by the same name and replacing it once I record the new one."

I think that's a great idea if you're not happy with it...like I said earlier...really like the concept and if i recall correctly some of the lines were good too. I'd love to hear the next version.

"I'm pretty bold.... I put a lot of stuff on the internet which probably many raise their eyebrows at and think is pretty bad, but as long as I like it, I'm ok with it."

You ain't just whistling dixie ma'am! But like I told you a long whiles back...every now and again, you do put out some gems and although I can't say I've liked everything you've done, I've always enjoyed the way you experiment with words and ideas. I think any writer on any level has produced a lot of crappola, but mostly we're not as brave as you to let it all hang out...and remember, bravery and stupidity are often two sides of a very thin line..lol...kidding of course.

"I recorded Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer" a couple of years ago and got an email from someone or maybe it was a post to my guestbook... the person told me flat out that it sucked. LOL! Remember that? hahahahaha ... "

LOL...hell ya I remember that...my ears still cringe at the thought...lol...I also remember saying how much I hated the wav. format you had it on because it really did no justice either to the piece....but all I can say in my defense is that an author, performer, painter, sculpter or musician always knows where I stand because I'm pretty forthright with my opinion...or maybe righteous is a better word..lol...I've always felt if I care about art and the artist, that I'm doing a disservice by dishonestly expressing my opinions as an audience. I really get no pleasure from saying I dislike something, but I only do it because i see merit in the work and know that there is a good chance the artist could have done better (subjectively of course).

"Oh... and Trevor.... that sounds like a great piece you created! "Is this mic on?" I might steal that."

Sure go for it. I couldn't get any of it to work for me but I think that has a lot to do with my inability to perform...ohhh if I had a dollar for everytime I heard that from a woman...lol..hehe...but seriously, feel free to steal it. I think you'd perform it a lot better than I would. After my last post I checked through my files and found the piece I was referring to...I was wrong about the title..it was "Hello, I'm a Little Nervous, This is my First Public Reading" and then it just went on from there...here it is in fact...very short, very rough,never finished it.

Hello, I'm a Little Nervous, This is my First Public Reading


so bear with me
because I'm a little jittery up here
maybe because its so vulnerable to be standing in front of people, alone in a crowd.
I better have a drink of water before I begin, that way I won't get the marshmellows mushrooming from the sides of my mouth like I was the only one from the pound that they forgot to put down.

(drink)

Better.

Is this mic on?
Is it on?

Good.


LOL....what was I saying about Lolapolooza and septic tanks? See you're not the only one who feels shame about some of their work..lol...and you'll be my new hero if you can work the above into a good performance piece...for the record my current hero is David Hasselhoff - anyone that talentless who has had such a long successful career definetly has some hidden superpowers. Twenty million Germans can't be wrong....well except of course the whole Nazi thing, then yes, twenty million Germans can be wrong.