Tiny Dancer

Post your poetry, any style.
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68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 27th, 2016, 1:24 pm

Woman with tears.
Woman with chapped seams.
Woman of scarlet lipstick.
Woman of raped dreams.

She once told me she wanted
to dance, later pranced
into her grave with music
coming from every hole
in her tired body.
Last edited by 68degrees on August 27th, 2016, 4:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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revolutionR
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Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by revolutionR » August 27th, 2016, 4:01 pm

Says a lot, in a few lines, good ink.

68degrees
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Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 27th, 2016, 6:17 pm

Thanks.

Grinch
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Joined: August 27th, 2016, 11:26 am

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by Grinch » August 27th, 2016, 6:58 pm

Nice poem

68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 27th, 2016, 8:03 pm

Grinch wrote:Nice poem
Thanks.

You might get bored here ;)

68degrees

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judih
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Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by judih » August 27th, 2016, 10:57 pm

the music coming "from every hole in her tired body" - a powerful line. stayed with me all night.

Grinch
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Joined: August 27th, 2016, 11:26 am

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by Grinch » August 28th, 2016, 6:05 am

You might get bored here
That's possible but I'll stick around for a while and see how it goes, so far it looks and feels OK, less of the traditional forms of poetry that I prefer but I can live with that. Nice poems are nice poems whatever flavour.

saw
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Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by saw » August 28th, 2016, 9:52 am

much complexity with much economy...a trick I never mastered.....just call me Mr. Bombastic 8) 8) 8)
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 28th, 2016, 11:09 am

judih wrote:the music coming "from every hole in her tired body" - a powerful line. stayed with me all night.
Thanks, Judih. Older poem I've been reworking. It's getting closer.

68degrees

68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 28th, 2016, 11:11 am

Grinch wrote:
You might get bored here
That's possible but I'll stick around for a while and see how it goes, so far it looks and feels OK, less of the traditional forms of poetry that I prefer but I can live with that. Nice poems are nice poems whatever flavour.

I agree. I was talking about the temperament of the posters. Everyone is nice here. Not much to laugh it as opposed to the grammar buffoons at AT.

68degrees

68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 28th, 2016, 11:13 am

saw wrote:much complexity with much economy...a trick I never mastered.....just call me Mr. Bombastic 8) 8) 8)
Nothing wrong with different, Saw. Different is good.

68degrees

leafsailors ghost
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Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by leafsailors ghost » August 29th, 2016, 1:38 pm

This is one of those poems simply amazes me . Just opens the heart and walks right in, I have known her and my heart breaks again now reading , as I know yours must have ,this is art sir.

68degrees
Posts: 658
Joined: October 14th, 2014, 7:47 pm

Re: Tiny Dancer

Post by 68degrees » August 29th, 2016, 5:43 pm

leafsailors ghost wrote:This is one of those poems simply amazes me . Just opens the heart and walks right in, I have known her and my heart breaks again now reading , as I know yours must have ,this is art sir.
Her name was Janice. It was many years ago.

Thank you.

68degrees

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