"George, it's holding up better than I thought it would."
Wet Dream
for release 05-19-05
Washington D.C.
I woke up this morning thinking about the Constitution, or more specifically, the Bill of Rights. I started listing them in my head. I'm still half asleep, hugging my pillow and trying to remember what the seventh amendment said. I'm a lousy American if I don't have these rights memorized. It's like professing to be a Christian and not knowing the Ten Commandments.
After writing and ratifying the main body of our Constitution, the founders of our nation fell into a huge fight over whether or not to include a Bill of Rights. The Constitution was written in 1787 and ratified in 1788 but not until 1791 did we have a Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments. The main body of the Constitution, the Articles that define the structure of our government, are all well and good but the glory of our Constitution is the Bill of Rights. More than any other document, these amendments define our nation and our national ethic. Especially the first one.
Anybody over the age of seven who doesn't have the first amendment memorized should be immediately escorted to the border and deported. These forty-five words come as close as I can imagine to describing the guiding principles of our democracy. The First Amendment has been battered and bruised and run through the wringer for more than two-hundred years and it still represents the shining dream of our country. These are the fundamentals, my friends: You have the right to worship as you please, or not. You can speak your mind. You can write your heart and publish it. You can associate with whom you choose and you can call the government out if you don't like what they are doing in your behalf.
The Founders phrased it this way:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
The next several amendments were mainly a result of the nasty experience we had with the British. The Second Amendment, the one that the NRA hangs its hat on these days, the right to keep and bear arms, was designed to protect local militias. I'm sure that in 1791 nobody in the rural frontier that included most of our country, even considered the possibility of giving up their personal side-arms. This amendment applied more to cannon and larger weaponry than to the musket that you needed to shoot turkey and rattlesnakes and the occasional wild Indian.
Third Amendment: quartering of soldiers. In 1791 that was a more sensitive issue than it is today. The British had quartered their soldiers in the homes of Americans. I don't think we need to worry about the British anymore but if the base closings that are currently proposed by the Dept. of Defense result in a shortage of beds for our soldiers, we may be glad for this amendment.
The Fourth Amendment is the Constitutional underpinning for the principles of Body Sovereignty. It guarantees that we will be secure in our persons, houses and papers. The Fourth Amendment has been bruised and battered for years by the courts and the drug laws but it was beat all to hell by the Patriot Act. Now they can come into your house without you even knowing it and poke around in your underwear drawer and your hard drive.
Then you can take the Fifth. This weary old amendment is hardly worth the parchment it's written on these days. Our government is detaining prisoners without warrant or indictment. Due process is a matter of where you stand on the economic ladder. The guarantee against double jeopardy is a joke because if the DA fails to convict you the first time, he can always charge you under RICO for conspiracy to conspire, or The Patriot Act and then all bets are off. Tell me if you are safe from self-incrimination the next time you have to take a urine test. And private property is being confiscated in the name of the War on Drugs. So, they have fairly well let the air out of the Fifth Amendment.
The Sixth Amendment has been whittled down pretty much too. Speedy trial? I waited two years to go to court one time. Jury of your peers? How do you find peers for Michael Jackson? And you have the right to counsel in a criminal trial if you don't mind being represented by an overworked or dozing public defender.
Amendment Seven guarantees your access to the courts. It says you can sue for damages for anything over twenty dollars. Sure, twenty dollars isn't what it used to be. A twenty dollar gold piece minted in 1850 was worth, well, twenty dollars. Today that same coin is worth over 500 dollars to a banker, not a coin collector. And now you have George Bush trying to tell you that he's doing you a favor by instituting 'tort reform' which is a Newspeak term for abridging your access to the courts.
No cruel and unusual punishment, the Eight Amendment says. Yet we persist in murdering our convicts. It's a painless death, we are told. Just lie on the crucifixion couch and have the needle pounded into your vein. You won't feel a thing. Forever. How can that be cruel?
Amendments Nine and Ten both reiterate the fundamental principle of our democracy. The principle is that rights are naturally possessed by the people. Government only usurps those rights with our consent.
Yes, I'm a sorry American for not being able to recite the Bill of Rights before my morning coffee. Ok, I admit it. I had to look it up even after the coffee to remember them all. Read it sometime. You'll wonder what country you are living in.
You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead --
Lennon/McCartney
