I'm gonna

Post your poetry, any style.
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mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 17th, 2019, 9:03 am

i'm gonna change myself
into a turquoise lagoon
and harbor great sailing
ships from around the world -
their hulls filled with
riches from coastal towns
caressing the shores
like small feet dipping
into a child's pool
for the very first time.

i'm gonna call myself 'nod'
and laff at reality's joke
while strumming a mandolin
made of a tree that stood
thirty paces from the sea
that lapped her roots
but left its salt to the
deer that grazed the tidepools
sprinkled across the sands
sparkling like mini-universes
in the fountains of my eyes.

i'm gonna reach for the
horsehead nebula and swing
my legs over it's torso
and go for a ride into eternity
waving my left hand thats
releasing gold and diamond
stepping stones for others
to follow without
a care in their heads
whistling roy roger songs
from the black & white tv
westerns made for whitey.

i'm gonna...
one of these days...
some day...
some way...
some how...
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

saw
Posts: 8791
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: I'm gonna

Post by saw » May 17th, 2019, 11:56 am

great writing
imaginative in concept
well constructed in the imagery
and an overall delightful experience for this reader.... 8)
the death of empathy is the birth of barbarism

mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 17th, 2019, 4:12 pm

saw wrote:
May 17th, 2019, 11:56 am
great writing
imaginative in concept
well constructed in the imagery
and an overall delightful experience for this reader.... 8)
Thank you much, amigo!
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

theirishsea
Posts: 630
Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:09 am

Re: I'm gonna

Post by theirishsea » May 19th, 2019, 9:44 am

I'm thinking would this poem get into one of those academic journals? I don't know but this poem is pretty damn interesting. Your imagination led you off into a rich communication of your visions. Maybe the ending----I'm gonna----might be a question or a resolution but I think the poem accomplishes that fact. Puts some of it into the past tense---though we(readers) all hope there is more to come.
The Irish Sea Is Always In Turmoil, Even When Calm.

mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mtmynd » May 20th, 2019, 1:00 am

theirishsea wrote:
May 19th, 2019, 9:44 am
I'm thinking would this poem get into one of those academic journals? I don't know but this poem is pretty damn interesting. Your imagination led you off into a rich communication of your visions. Maybe the ending----I'm gonna----might be a question or a resolution but I think the poem accomplishes that fact. Puts some of it into the past tense---though we(readers) all hope there is more to come.
TYVM, TIS... much appreciated. ;)
_________________________________
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Allow not destiny to intrude upon Now

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mnaz
Posts: 7919
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm
Location: north of south

Re: I'm gonna

Post by mnaz » May 21st, 2019, 12:53 pm

My expert literary critique: Awesome. Star stuff in all its forms and excursions. Cosmic cowboy. Rope that nebula!

For some reason this poem put a coupla tunes in my head -- a hint of Steve Miller's 'The Joker', when 'nod' laffed and strummed his mandolin, and the title ... I'm gonna. I can't hear that without thinking of an old Max Romeo tune ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpIAc9by5iU

Completely unrelated, of course...

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Doreen Peri
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Re: I'm gonna

Post by Doreen Peri » May 21st, 2019, 6:03 pm

Great work!

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