Starting over
in the middle.
Empty forks,
in my belly,
ache for
direction signs
to feed on.
Hidden,
no doubt,
in overgrown
bull-rushes,
near rivers
that fester,
under blankets
of swamp,
and cirumstance,
beyond my control.
A muddy-shoed,
de-throned empress.
Sliding down,
golden oldie
chair legs,
into deeper,
untilled soil,
where nothing,
was never lost,
but remains,
buried alive,
under the
glittery wastelands
of us.
Where nothing was never lost
-
hester_prynne
Where nothing was never lost
Last edited by hester_prynne on June 9th, 2005, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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stilltrucking
- Posts: 20646
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
rambling thoughts on reading your poem
"There's still one or two of us walking the street,
no arrows of direction painted under our feet,
no angels to warn us away from the heat,
and no honey to keep us where it is sweet".
LC
brings to mind that starry night on Soldier Summit, I remember now what focused my attention on the black nothingness as I came around that curve. A feeling of a razor thin sheet of glass passing through my Abdomen A feeling of being cut in half.
Muddy shoed empress reminds me of Eshter Greenwood coming back home in her torn muddy black dress after her date with the woman hater.
some people get a lemon and make lemonade
some make poetry,
don't let me poison you with self confidence
I know jack sh*t about poetry, just like what it does to me.
"There's still one or two of us walking the street,
no arrows of direction painted under our feet,
no angels to warn us away from the heat,
and no honey to keep us where it is sweet".
LC
nice image for me but for some reason I thought of Moses and Monotheism by Freud. Now that is weird,in overgrown
bull-rushes,
near rivers
,
Empty forks,
in my belly
brings to mind that starry night on Soldier Summit, I remember now what focused my attention on the black nothingness as I came around that curve. A feeling of a razor thin sheet of glass passing through my Abdomen A feeling of being cut in half.
Muddy shoed empress reminds me of Eshter Greenwood coming back home in her torn muddy black dress after her date with the woman hater.
some people get a lemon and make lemonade
some make poetry,
don't let me poison you with self confidence
I know jack sh*t about poetry, just like what it does to me.
Last edited by stilltrucking on June 6th, 2005, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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hester_prynne
Thanks Still, and Arcadia, for reading me,... this.
Heh.
I'm in a searching sort of place these days. It's awkward, like i'm sitting on an egg so to speak, wondering what will hatch.
Like I don't know who I am.
In fact, like I don't know who I ever thought I was.
Sigh.
My heart pounds and my face flushes when I post anything I've written lately, and when I sing.
Voice in my head taunts me.."you ain't no good Hes......
give it up, who you kiddin?"
GRRRRRRR
Temporary loss of faith in myself.
Thank you for lending me some of yours.
H
Heh.
I'm in a searching sort of place these days. It's awkward, like i'm sitting on an egg so to speak, wondering what will hatch.
Like I don't know who I am.
In fact, like I don't know who I ever thought I was.
Sigh.
My heart pounds and my face flushes when I post anything I've written lately, and when I sing.
Voice in my head taunts me.."you ain't no good Hes......
give it up, who you kiddin?"
GRRRRRRR
Temporary loss of faith in myself.
Thank you for lending me some of yours.
H
Hester, you are one of my favorite on-line poets. feel no shame in posting your stuff.
though, of course, a healthy dissatisfaction with what one has produced is precisely a spur to further experimentation and creation for artists throughout the ages. the smug sage doesn't need to speak.
though, of course, a healthy dissatisfaction with what one has produced is precisely a spur to further experimentation and creation for artists throughout the ages. the smug sage doesn't need to speak.
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.
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hester_prynne
Hiya Hes,
Just a few quick thoughts about the poem:
"I am a
muddy-shoed,
de-throned empress."
Perhaps consider changing "de-throned" to "desposed"...also just another suggestion; consider chopping "I am" and leave it as "A muddy-shoed,/ de-throned empress"...the us at the end of this section sums up who the de-throned empress is.
"Sliding down,
golden oldie
chair legs,
into deeper,
untilled soil,
where nothing,
was never lost,
but remains,
buried alive,
under the
glittery wastelands
of us."
The rest of this poem I really enjoyed and I too like "buried alive,/ under the/glittery wasteleands"...reminds me of all things past that seemed so wonderful at the time yet now seem to be this barren layer that seems to hold a person down, trapping them. Well, that's what I kinda got out of it. Anyways, thanks for sharing the poem, I enjoyed the read.
Just a few quick thoughts about the poem:
"I am a
muddy-shoed,
de-throned empress."
Perhaps consider changing "de-throned" to "desposed"...also just another suggestion; consider chopping "I am" and leave it as "A muddy-shoed,/ de-throned empress"...the us at the end of this section sums up who the de-throned empress is.
"Sliding down,
golden oldie
chair legs,
into deeper,
untilled soil,
where nothing,
was never lost,
but remains,
buried alive,
under the
glittery wastelands
of us."
The rest of this poem I really enjoyed and I too like "buried alive,/ under the/glittery wasteleands"...reminds me of all things past that seemed so wonderful at the time yet now seem to be this barren layer that seems to hold a person down, trapping them. Well, that's what I kinda got out of it. Anyways, thanks for sharing the poem, I enjoyed the read.
-
Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
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- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
-
hester_prynne
-
hester_prynne
Trev! I took your very very right-on advice and took out the I am, it really does work alot better that way. I chose to leave de-throned because I like how it rolls off my mindtongue, better than desposed.
Thank you so much for your suggestions, and comraderie on this.
I really appreciate it, feels good!
H
Thank you so much for your suggestions, and comraderie on this.
I really appreciate it, feels good!
H
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