Will I ever be satisfied?

[knip]

although knip has been known to do that from time-to-time, that night was not one of them...

knip is currently about 10 pounds less and still counting, not that it matters much...other than i get tired less quickly

[stilltrucking]

Not the Pacific, been a long time but I think Astoria is in a little from the mouth of the Columbia. I tell you this, if you are not a strong swimmer, do not take a dip in that river. Strongest current I have ever had try to take me away.

Shrimp season, I was there about the time your were born, made big money on a shrimper. Hardest days work I ever did for an honest dollar.

Thinking about that hammer of yours, everybody claims to be a carpenter, but my brother in law the bear can build a tree, these are somepictures of first floor of a house he built formy sister with his own hands. no help except for the slab. He set those posts by himself, hung the joists by him self. Now the prolactin blues, he gets so worried about money he don't take his meds. I know that feeling. My earliest literary hero was Jack London. I think that is the first "adult" reading I did on my own. Forced to read twain so naturaly I did not enjoy it. Read Huck Finn again not to long ago amazed at how modern he sounds. dam another ramble. I can not imagine you will not feel satisfied in astoria, sounds like the east coast is a poisoned well for you know. be care full, that river had me shriveled up. I mean puckered up. Just a flatlander from the tidewater of maryland.





Mr Furnish? Yeah and Mr King, and Mr Lee, Mr January, Mr Willingham, about time you started showing some respect. I am starting to feel like gollom, going to bite that finger off one day, well maybe not. just an old toothless tiger. Remember when China used to call USA the paper tiger.

[YABYUM]

I never built a house by myself. I have framed and sheathed three story monsters with a crew of three. I was the green one. I remember the man who owned the company, Bob. This was only five or so years ago. Nail guns are common now, everything is air compression. But not this fucking guy, no way. We drove every single nail by hand. I would venture a guess at 50,000 nails. Bob saw this monster completed in his head when it was a slab. No one cut except him. I never saw one single mis cut. And forget about bobcats or any kind of machine lifting that lumber up to the top, me and nick, floor by floor, piece by fucking piece. Nowadays most builders order pre fab trusses.
Not Bob. We built them and hung around like monkeys nailing them up. I loved that job. I myself prefer using guns, but it was fun to build the old school way.
Shrimp boats huh? I have more googling to do...........

[Lightning Rod]

I built a house useing nothing bout a matte knife and a wrench and a paintbrush. No kidding. It was a cardboard geodesic dome.

I wish I had some picures. Very comfortable. I lived there for three years.

[YABYUM]

I was beginning to think you were hibernating.
A geodesic dome? I had to look up that word.
You gotta tell the story man. why a dome?

[stilltrucking]

Mr January you amaze me. I don't ever remember you talking about this one. Geodesic dome was Buckmeister Fuller or something like that the same guy who thought up Bucky Balls, an absolute genuis. Yes, what is the story? I would love to read it too.

[Doreen Peri]

I built a house useing nothing bout a matte knife and a wrench and a paintbrush. No kidding. It was a cardboard geodesic dome.

I wish I had some picures. Very comfortable. I lived there for three years.

This story is one of the reasons I invited you to live here with me.

PS... there are tools in the right hand kitchen drawer directly below the microwave. If you could put the towel rack up in the hall bathroom and empty the lawnmower with fuel so we can work together to figure out how to clean the carborator so it will start and also tighten up the front door handle with the allen wrench so it doesn't fall off in our hands when we try to go out or in, it would be greatly appreciated. *wink*

heh

Oh but seriously, and I was being serious, but I'll be even more serious now... I created some handouts... flyers and posters and such... based on Clay's description of his geodesic dome which he built and Alicia (my daughter) was in an advanced type class program where Clay came to lecture to talk about the building of the geodesic dome and I accompanied him and we had the kids make models of a geodesic dome from construction paper which we brought with us and it was oh so very cool..... Later, we sent a letter to the teachers of the program at the school who welcomed us with wide arms and asked them if they would like us to develp a poetry workshop for the kids which would culminate in a performance and a chapbook and they were like really delighted with this idea ... that was 2 years ago and we haven't pursued it since... Oh well. Time has a way of getting in the way of your plans or something.

[stilltrucking]

I remember when Clay left for Virginia. I remember when he first got there. If for no other reason I will always think kindly towards levi, for those posts between you. I think I was flamed by every woman over there. Including you. But I had it coming. But it was unintentional , a unprevetable my safey man would say. I had that projectionist job at Hull's Drive In, I invited you all down, I don't know if I was hitting on you or not, I think clay was there, so I must have meant the whole family. Anyway I know what you mean about time. I never think about time with out thinking about music. Weird I know, just the only way I can get my mind around it. I wish clay would write it up or scan it or what ever, needs to be shared.

[Doreen Peri]

i never flamed you... or anybody else... i don't do that... thank you, jack, for remembering when he came here... It will be 3 years on August 1st.. he came here with a one-way bus ticket... i picked him up at the station... ever since then, my life has been enriched. You listened to my music last night. I am grateful. Before he came here, i hadn't played anything on the piano for many years. All I used to play was from sheet music. Now I am composing stuff. It may be garbage but hell, i'm inspied and I am thankful he came into my life for that and many other reasons. He broke me outa the charts. He let my fingers free. And he loves me enough to pretend I can sing.... I got your address in my pm and I will send a CD once I figure out how to make mp3s into .wav files or whatever it is i have to do to make them portable to cd players. You seem to have some bad memories of women. Litkicks seems to be a place where the women made you feel badly about being yourself. Perhaps I'm reading you wrong. I don't know what went down or why or whatever..... I just wrote stuff and posted it. I miss it, really. I don't write stuff any more. I rarely post my work. Most of my posts here have to do with the management of the site. I didn't want that, really. I just want to write stuff. I probably post too often. I say too little with too many posts. Or something.

"If poetry shows the words of angels, music is the thoughts of Gods." - me.... or somebody that i knew or looked like me or something... I love music. I love Clay, too.

Great photos posted by hest....!!!

love to all!

wish we could all meet in person some place... some time.....

[stilltrucking]

clarity
not much
seems longer that three years
I thought it was before the war.
are you joking
bad memories of women?
your music garbage?
are you yanking my chain?

Listen I am a word kook, all I care about is the truth, I ain't looking for perfection, just as near as I can get to it. Now I been told I am on the wrong track, I got to get with the program, but I just mosey along, what I can't get to running I limp to, the end of the road for me was the end of a life. it was just at the end of my trucking career that I stumbled across litkicks. A vulnerable time for me. Mostly I missed the voices in the night. I been posting over on the tribal.net thing judih posted about in announcements. Maybe I been making a pest of myself again. You sound annoyed. Going to annoy judih for a while. They got the thing divided up into tribes, I think I sind up for the right one. Lines and curves.


is it a bad memory to be flamed?
I don't know if I believe that
Flames is kind of a zenn thing for me
Like gettting whacked with a bamboo baseball bat
getting my thumb cut off
a rung on Jacob's ladder
to go and learn from it

sorry I brought it up. When did the war start, I remember you were at dinner the night we invaded Iraq, I thought that was the spring of 2003. Hell why am I even questioning you about it. Obviously you must remember the date better than me.
the mangement
I never had much trouble with the management
I just seemed to step on too many toes
"sooner or later I get on everybodies nerves" the truck driver in big trouble in little china.

[stilltrucking]

my last user name over there was short timer. I knew I would not last long. But I did not know the whole place would go down.
I tell you that you touched a nerve there, bad memories of women?
I got bad memories of women with bad memories of women.
No peace in my family until the women make it. I have a friend who tells me I am stuck in the mud and mire of my past. I come here because I am a frustrated anthropologist, I need subjects for my research, back in college park where we were both there in the seventies we may have crossed paths on the mall. I spent a lot of time in the Anthro and psyche, they used to say that the proper study of mankind is man. But I had a suspicion even back then that those nineteenth century professors were wrong. the proper study is woman kind. So I know I have to make myself transparent, I got to have the trust of my subjects, I know I am not Margarete Mead, I can't study the women's secrete societies. No way to get paste that taboo. Yeah I said taboo, as in incest taboo. DId I ever tell about the first time I met my new brother in law and he started telling me about "the meskin at work who was fuking his sister." Love gnaws me, and I do have hopeless romantic fantascies of Janet Malcolm or someother dishy brilliant woman to come sluming my way. But most of all I just like to write. Don't hassle about mp3 when you offered to send cd it seemed rude not to give you my address. It is you know how much I love you and clay. you know virtual neighborly love between people that know each other pretty well. And a friend is someone you can say any tom fool thing to and still remain friends. Forget about the CD i going to listen to it here. Maybe it is the imperfections that make it so interesting, I swear sometimes I though I could follow your piano hacking see where you were working things out. I seen a lot of people change especialy the ones that started to posting to litkicks when they were just teen agers, some now adults. Interesting. I plan on growing up myself any other day. Poor judih all that talk about kudalini, I just tried to jamm all the sexual content I could fine. even somethng as abstract as an erect line. Just call me homo erectus

[Dave The Dov]

Say speaking "him" Mr Furnish to be for sure. Where is he these days???? He seems to be missing.
_________________
causes of recession

[Doreen Peri]

First off, Jack, I'm not at all annoyed. I read my post 3 times and can't figure out why you think I sound annoyed. But if you say to me again that I sound annoyed, I'll get annoyed.

You claimed I flamed you at litkicks and I said I didn't because I didn't.

About the music.....That's what it sounds like? That I'm trying to work out imperfections? LOL! It's all deliberate, Jack. Didn't you know that? hahahaha....The dissonance is perfect in my ear. I studied Gershwin. I love the chords. I love the notes when they don't seem like they fit. In my heart, Debussy and Monk have come to reside in my fingers but in a way that maybe only I can hear and feel. Whatever! Maybe I'm the only one who will understand it. I was only thanking you for asking to hear my music on a cd rather than having to download it one song at a time.

If I hit a nerve, I don't know how or why.

I used to say the same thing when I danced in the bars. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?, " they'd ask. "I'm only here doing research for my new book," I answered.

Your problem with women is not for me to figure out. Just don't lump me in a category of women who flamed you or anything. Not me, babe.

All I did was reply to you and talk to you and now you say you're going to go off somewhere and post instead of here because I "sound annoyed." Umm.... ok... would you rather I didn't reply to you? What about my post sounded annoyed? I can't find a sentence or a word that reads "annoyed."

[stilltrucking]

don't worry about it just a guy thing. examining intentions, I hit on every beautiful woman I see, and what woman isn't beautiful

sounds like I got bad memories of women. I always figured women could see right through me.

I have had enough of these conversations to last a life time. Lets move on. Like ai said, I appologize profusely, and it is that got dam punks fault, old ronnie boy, he is the one that brought up litkicks. Lets talk about that other place, thetribe.net something like that, any tribe that panta and judih belong to I would like to be in that number too, when the saints go marching in. You are too beautiful for me to argue about it. The music is fine as it is, please don't waste your time, that geodesic dome post is more important, time to get cracking on it I think. Buckmeister Fuller of planet ship earth, now there was a saint for you, a saint of science. There is a weird combination of carbon atoms called a bucky ball, named for him cause I think the idea came from him. Astounding.

got to go
"let the world call me a fool
but if everything is right with me and you
thats all that matters to me" paraphrase of Waylon Jennings song
reiminds me of you and clay
"in my old common labor shoes
I turned the world all which a way
just because you asked me too"

twenty five years of lechourous solitude an celibacy coming to an end soon, all got to do is find one woman with a macbre sense of humor
I send a hug to you dear sister.

[YABYUM]

its all that punk, ronnies fault.

Yass yass, ahem, now see here.......

oh wait, i am a punk. i did bring up litkicks. and i am Ronnie.
damn it all, something else attributed to my faults.