Reverb

[~K]

Yesterday
is an all consuming
monster

spitting out tomorrow

with the fragments
of a forgotten melody

that haunts
the waking hours

when time stills
& ripples
in reflection

[stilltrucking]

this is my third attemp to reply
deleted the first two because they seemed so inadequate
"great art requires no comment"
feel like i want to delete this one too but Doreen is getting sick and tired of my deletions.

just wanted to say thank you

[~K]

I mourn your lost words. Add to your thoughts but don't delete them before I have a chance to cherish them!

[Axanderdeath]

I liked the yesterday spitting out tommrow line--it was sexy. English people use that word "sexy" when thing have no sexual relivance. But if this is about change--well sexual relationships! The life of your car--being stuck on the highway. I liked it.

[iblieve]

I read this, and heard clearly in my mind a melancholy voice speaking of lost yesterdays, and how they haunt us in our daily lives. If one is not careful the yesterdays will keep us from grasping every second of our tomorrows in a passionate love embrace. We must learn from the past but leave it there as we explore each new tomorrow. I really loved the voice in this poem and I hope to hear more eloquent words from your muse soon. "C"

[~K]

Axanderdeath~

Why, thank you. I rather fancied that line as well.
Stuck will scream for change before it's through.



iblieve~

Thank you for getting my words so completely. I hope to comply with your wishes soon.


~K

[stilltrucking]

Sorry K~ I didn't get it at all. I heard no melancholy, I must have been thinking of the cookie monster.

[Rat Bag]

this is really beautiful.

if you're open to critique from someone completely inept to offer it, I'd say that you could strengthen the essence of the now within the past/future context, perhaps by "waking moment" instead of "waking hours" or maybe by making some kind of reference to today, since you got the yesterday-tomorrow thing already going on. Of course, it's just a suggestion. This is really nice work.

I enjoyed the spitting line too.

[stilltrucking]

I though it was beautiful too ratbag. But I did not get it because it was a melancholy voice and I felt no melancholy after reading it. I didn't hear any melancholy. . Just a sense of beauty, even hope. Reminded me of those statues of Kali or Shiva I forget which. death and birth that kind of thing. I felt a lot of truth.

I spend a lot of time reading about melancholy. As in Sylvia Plath and Freud, maybe I just can't see the forest for the trees.

Sorry to butt in but that poem hit home with me

[mnaz]

I'm in that zone, in recent times.... those fragments
coming back, incomplete, compelling, selectively nostalgic and mournful for lost time.... time which seems to continually accelerate and become more mechanical and indifferent....

(I tried to put it in my rear view mirror).


Thanks for the read.

[stilltrucking]

I am in the zone of maudlin
been stuck there a long time
poetry giving me a kick in the @$$

a healing poem for me mnaz

Mourning And Melancholia

[hester_prynne]

~K~!
So good to see you, read you, your depth, a welcome relief to a troubled heart....
Soulful.

thank you
H

[joel]

[the others covered that words can't always respond to true art. if i could paint, i'd try to explain. this is beautiful and all i have to offer are my own image ramblings....]


Suppose—and then forgive my order proud
that begs for your fantastic sight—what may
have dawned, had not your might allowed
for nothing more than ordinary day

again.
Do you have to show up again
and must I think again
we may be again?

Regardless: more than think, yes, I’d believe
because I’m not the order you so trust
and it’s no given my tomorrow’d rise
with sunlight lit like eyes have seen before.

[~K]

Dear Mr. stilltrucking Sir,

Even cookie monsters must suffer despondent moments when they realize all the cookies are gone! (With at least a full 20 minutes before the next batch is oven born.) So, yes, there is always hope in waiting. I am heartened by the fact you saw this.



Rat Bag~

I thank you for and welcome your critiques. To be honest there is something about this piece that bothers me. I probably will not go back and edit but I do find myself often repeating themes & will strive harder next time to find all the appropriate words.



mnaz~

So, we reside together in distant trappings. If you find the road to freedom, please, please let me know.



stilltrucking~

Healing is the jazz.



hester prynne~

So Good to see You! It has been to long. Let's share again.



joel~

Thank you for your kind words and beautiful reply and let me add this:

Forgive my revelry in
this destructive power,
making love to the
memories of a kinder hour.

[stilltrucking]

Listening to Sonny Rollins
With Out Song
The audience would break in with applause
I had no idea why
But I felt a chill run down my spine
Maybe there is hope for me.