what is it about a good fight

[K&D]

too many people to reply too too little time.

see, yab...yabby...thats a cute one i'll stick with that name...i can relate its not the physical pain its this sort of rage that comes over...its almost purely chemical. i don't get into fist fights because of social standards. genearlly speaking if anything i'm the peace keeper but i tend to explod when i do, i can have this feeling a lot like theone you talk about, but its in mood format, like i can have it for weeks. i remember this one time when i just desided that i was different from the friends i was hanging out with and i just cut off you know. i get really intense, not nessisarily yelling just physically and menatllly intense and its the same feeling and i love that feeling. it doesn't happen that often any more but when i use to have it a lot i use to revel it it.

then again i find i'm like that with most feelings even sadness, i revel in the feeling of it...not depression, its not something mental, its the chemical feeling of a certain sober sadness...i don't know when you get to this level of feeling its hard to explain in words you know?

[K&D]

dor/lovingpenfull/hester (by the way still love the name)
you guys can atleast relate to what i'm saying about the chemical release right...is there a scientist in the room that can explain it to me rationally? i really wonder... i quess as we adapted we in many cases had to fight for surviaval and thats where it comes from?

Arcadia- you bring up a different issue, i find very intresting. i speak miy mind and i always expect people to speak theres as well but for some reason its socially unacceptable in many situations to do so whithout the other getting definsive and wanting to fight you...this is one of the major things that bugs me about society.

[Doreen Peri]

The reason you get that surge of adrenaline is for a purpose .... it's so you can run like hell!

Animals get the same surge of adrenaline. It's called "fight or flight."

As evolved animals, it is much smarter to use that adrenaline for flight, rather than fight. We are smarter now, so we know we are better able to survive when we do not participate in fighting.

Now, if a man entered my home and began beating up my children, I would use the surge of adrenaline to get him OFF my children and out of my house, and also for a quick call to 911 for assistance from the police.

Other than that, I see no reason for fighting. Ever.

[K&D]

well i don't fight either...not physiscally. i think flight and fight can be transerved to things though...like maybe you can use it to fight, just not physically right, y'know...like verbally, thats how i think the terms flight and fight have changed...there no longer nessisarily physical expressions but the feelings are still the same.

like o..k, you have a big theatrical preformance and you have adreinaline. you can use it and get energy from it "fight" or you can not preforme "flight"

[Doreen Peri]

I do just that, K&D.

I use my anger as energy and transform it into writing or music .... I let it out. I think it's healthy to get it out, to express it, but definitely not in a confrontational way with other people.

I wrote a poem about anger recently... here it is if you'd like to read it.
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=602

[stilltrucking]

where the hell is a good physiologist when you need them.

I don't think you are talking about adrenalin KD. Adrenalin gives me the shakes, it leaves me feeling sick. I am not an adrenalin junky I guess. Now when I walk play tennis run, there are things I think they are "endorphins?" kind of like a natural high.


Doreen flight is good, but sometimes you can find yourself with your back against the wall, no choice unless you are Ghandi or Jesus Christ I think. I keep thinking about the horrible scene in the Afterword to Zen And The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance where the writers son comes out of a Zen center and is being mugged. Witnesses said he spoke something to his attackers which enraged one of them who then stabbed him in the heart. Yabyum said he walked away from one close one. I wonder if he meant he said the right thing.

I think you are talking about anger KD which is not the same as adrenalin, although one can lead to the other. Must be somebody here who is a scientist.

[K&D]

but conflict is good no? i see what your sying dor, don't get me wrong, i'm sort of playing devils advocate here.

lets say we aren't talking nessisarily about physical violence, but anger/rage...like truckin says. the is healthy, no? i think what we have run ito here is a difference of definitions of words really.

everyone gets mad, some of us experience in short extreme amounds, like me and yaby...others experience it gradually...but if you deny your ability to get it or you run from it well isn't that a different psycological disagreement...need to talk to my psy major friend on this one.

i don't think i lety myself get mad enough...it can fuck you up.

endorphens are cool here, but i feel more like that weehen i'm sleeping floors, but your right its not adrenialine either, at least not entirley.

[Doreen Peri]

Truckin - I described a back-against-the wall situation and said I would defend my family if someone entered my home and tried to hurt my family members.

K&D- I already answered your questions. Plus, I posted a link to a poem which answers your questions further and illustrates the need to let anger out. No, conflict is not good, in my opinion. Only as a technique in literature and music, conflict and conflict resolution being the basis of both.

[stilltrucking]

Doreen I have no children. I was speaking of a situation regarding me not other people. I meant the back up against the wall literaly.

What do you do when you are cornered and no place to run.


And I have heard it is not wise to run from a bear. But that is another matter. We are talking about human animals here, not non human animals I know.

[Doreen Peri]

Well, obviously if you are cornered with your back literally up against the wall being confronted violiently, you have no choice but to defend yourself.

Which is why I said, "When in doubt, run like hell." Because if you can get out of potentially violent situation before it escalates to a definite violent situation, then you can hopefully avoid finding yourself with your back up against the wall.

[K&D]

wait but conflict is good...as long as its resolved...hell, i'd go so far as to say its good in some cases even if it isn't resolved...gets you thinking about what you beleive and questioning that, figureing things out.

conflicts happen, people get mad, natural reafction, i think if you deny yourself that reaction then aren't you in some ways not dealing with it...i'm not saying physical violence is the answer, i'm saying sometimes you got to get mad inorder to get over it.

are you mad at me? can it be resolved? or have we just both learned something different about ourselves in this process? or is it all a communication issue, and isn't that learing something too about communication...

[Doreen Peri]

Of course I'm not mad at you!

I totally disagree with you, that's all.

To me, conflict between people is not only unnecessary, it is troublesome, irritating, stressful, and bad for your health. It serves no purpose whatsoever.

If you get something from it, that's fine, I suppose, but keep it away from me.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good debate. But I don't consider that conflict. I consider that debate. Conflict is when one party opposes another party and it becomes emotionally heated as both parties push each other, whether with anger or with violence.

Perhaps our definitions differ. I don't know.

Sure, people get mad. But anger doesn't have to lead to conflict. When I get mad, I try not to create a conflict out of it. I attempt to let my anger out in constructive rather than destructive ways. I'm not always successful. I'm continually learning. I hate it when I lose my temper and raise my voice and express my anger which creates conflict with other people. I really do not like myself at all when that happens.

And ya know what? I learn nothing from it other than to try not to do that again. What else is there to learn from it? That type of thing is destructive energy. There is nothing positive that can come from it.

[stilltrucking]

Back up against the wall, I think when I have found myself in a situation like that it was my own lack of street smarts. I used to have a friend from New York City who would walk in the street. I asked him why and and he said to stay away from dark alley ways.

The problem with running like hell is it usaully involves turning your back on someone. Best to avoid the situation by being aware of ones enviorment. Avoiding dangerous situations, by the time my back was up against the wall it was too late. But I am changing the subject.

KD
I think it is better to use humor. Angry words don't seem to help.
I don't ever remember jitterbug showing anger at anyone. I wish I could be like him. He has a way of defecting anger with humor.

[K&D]

yeah i know your not mad i was just playing.

i got an example....you care emotionally about ending the war right, i don't know if you have taken part in a political action but in your definition of conflict, wouldn't that be considered a conflict, if someone thought that we should be in the war?

how are moral decisions by a society made if not with your definition of conflict. a sort of emotional attachement to the issues, because lets face it thats one of the least rational things, morals, if you can connect everything to rationality...i'd love to be you cause, currently i'm so fucking confused about truth and how you determine it been reading "Motorcycle Maintanince" for class...we talk about that issue.

i like pushing people out of there comfort zone i think both parties me and the one being pushed learn something...thats conflict sometimes. only when your in a vulnerable momment can you really learn something new...because most people are stuck in there everyday ways of thinking.

[K&D]

truckin- humor works with conflict too...infact i use it all the time, but sometimes its in a conflict of opinion and its done with that feeling theat i'm talking about...i don't know maybe i'm being a pain in the ass causeing all this conflict between me and dor...but i get a certain amount of pleasure from it and i think its valuble...i wouldn't if i didn't think there was something beneficial from it.